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Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> English language. http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1380560656 Message started by Hoppy on Sep 30th, 2013 at 1:04pm |
Title: English language. Post by Hoppy on Sep 30th, 2013 at 1:04pm
Lets face it English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly Boxing rings are square And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don‘t fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth Shouldn‘t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth If the teacher taught, Why didn‘t the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down And in which you fill in a form By filling it out And a bell is only heard once it goes! English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn‘t a race at all) That is why When the stars are out they are visible But when the lights are out they are invisible And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts But when I wind up this poem It ends |
Title: Re: English language. Post by maz on Sep 30th, 2013 at 6:17pm
Hey Hoppy
If you send something by car it's a shipment, if you send it by ship it's a cargo. And what about the word extraordinary. It means the exact opposite of what it says. And can you tell me, If I come to your country I'm going down under. If you come to mine are you up over ? Love the idea of a praughting preacher. Maz. |
Title: Re: English language. Post by AussieBrian on Oct 1st, 2013 at 6:54pm |
Title: Re: English language. Post by Hoppy on Oct 4th, 2013 at 1:06am
G'day Brian,
Thanks for the Victor Borge link. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=clap2.gif] Hoppy. |
Title: Re: English language. Post by Hoppy on Oct 4th, 2013 at 1:25am
Hi Maz,
After 18hrs getting home on a aeroplane, i was'nt sure if i was up or under. [smiley=bulb.gif] [smiley=bulb2.gif] Hoppy. |
Title: Re: English language. Post by maz on Oct 7th, 2013 at 7:49am
Hi Hoppy
A month from now we will be down under. Sadly nowhere near Perth though or I would have liked to meet up. We are going to Sydney, Hobart, Adelaide, Coober pedy, Alice springs and cairns. We also go to NY and LA on the way there and Dubai on the way back. So lots of travelling. Hoping to meet up with Brian in Cairns. Been saving up for 5 years and could have bought another house with what it cost. Last time we had a big holiday the beast came along and ruined it so this time I have bought all the D3 stuff in vast quantities and plenty of sumatriptan shots just in case. I love Australia and can't wait. [smiley=2vrolijk_08.gif] Maz. |
Title: Re: English language. Post by Hoppy on Oct 7th, 2013 at 8:38pm
Hi Maz,
Wow, looks like one great adventure.It's a pity your not comeing to Perth, but being the most isolated city on the planet, us Sandgropers fully understand.Yes it's a pity it costs an arm and leg, when heading for the old dart or comeing down under, you may be lucky and find a large Opal when in Coober Pedy 8-). Should be fun catching up with Brian in Cairns [smiley=beer.gif]. Wishing you a great holiday. Hoppy. |
Title: Re: English language. Post by Marius on Oct 25th, 2013 at 6:26am
;D
|
Title: Re: English language. Post by AubanBird on Nov 10th, 2013 at 11:55pm
one of our language professors wanted us to practice speaking, and the topic was "how to make love".
in arabic, making love means what used to be called courting in american english, then calling on a girl, then going steady, and now going out or "dating". making love is, of course, a euphemism for sex. apparently, in his ten years as a arabic language teacher, nobody had ever bothered to explain this to him. that was the first time saw a Sudanese man blush. ;D |
Title: Re: English language. Post by Hoppy on Nov 13th, 2013 at 2:37am
Hi AubanBird,
My wife and i were recently in London.The hotel we were staying at had lots of Saudi guests. We made friends with a saudi family and i often had coffee with their oldest son. He was telling me he had a girlfriend back in Saudi Arabia, but had never been out on a date, they just talk on the phone. Both his and her parents are unaware of this. He says he's in love. We will be catching up with them all next September. Can't wait to see how i'ts all going. Hoppy. |
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