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Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> "Euro- English" http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1385069283 Message started by Hoppy on Nov 21st, 2013 at 4:28pm |
Title: "Euro- English" Post by Hoppy on Nov 21st, 2013 at 4:28pm
English will be the official language of the EU, but
English spelling had some room for improvement with a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English" In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world! Hoppy. |
Title: Re: Europe English Post by Vikinggirl on Nov 21st, 2013 at 6:39pm
And this is the reason why Norway is NOT a member in EU !!!!!
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Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Hoppy on Nov 21st, 2013 at 7:37pm
Connie wrote,
And this is the reason why Norway is NOT a member in EU !!!!! Hi Connie, Sweden is. "Kopparberg Strawberry and Lim Sider" [smiley=me&mb.gif] Hoppy. |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by lwatson8 on Nov 22nd, 2013 at 10:29pm
God on yu mat
Lars |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Hoppy on Nov 22nd, 2013 at 11:03pm
;D
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Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Vikinggirl on Nov 23rd, 2013 at 3:35pm Hoppy wrote on Nov 21st, 2013 at 7:37pm:
Sweden has a lot of good things, mainly cheep booze, booze, booze, siggis, food and good neighbours :) Strange though, this "Euro-English" is atually getting closer to Norwegian. We use S instead of C, K in stead of hard C, V in stead of W and of course we only use the O in OU. First lession in Norwegian ;D Connie |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Hoppy on Nov 24th, 2013 at 5:49pm
You never know, i could have a Viking ancestor.[smiley=rolleyes.gif].
Hoppy. |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Vikinggirl on Nov 24th, 2013 at 6:19pm
You're right, vikingblood is spread all over ;)
I know I have Aussie relatives. My grandfather moved to Australia back in 1947, after devorcing my grandmother. I bet he remarried and had more children down under :) So - I should really learn som Aussie-English ! |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Hoppy on Nov 24th, 2013 at 6:55pm
Hi Connie,
This might help, If you ever come down under. ARTERY The study of painting. BENIGN What you be after you be eight. BACTERIA Back door to cafeteria. BARIUM What doctors do when patients die. BUNION Pauls surname. CATSCAN Searching for kitty. CAUTERIZE Made eye contact with her. COLIC A sheep dog. COMA A punctuation mark. D&C Where Washington is. DILATE To live longer. DOSE A short sleep. ENEMA Not a friend. FESTER Quicker than someone else. FIBULA A small lie. GENITAL Non Jew. G.I.SERIES World series of military baseball HANGNAIL What you hang your coat on. HERNIA Pertaining to a females knee. IMPOTENT Distinguished, well known. LABOUR PAIN Getting hurt at work. MEDICAL STAFF A doctors cane. MORBID A higher offer than i bid. NITRATES Cheaper than day rates. NODE I knew it OUTPATIENT A person who has fainted. OVA Finished, done with. PAP SMEAR A fatherhood test PARADOX Two doctors. PELVIS Second cousin to Elvis. POST OPERATIVE A letter carrier. RECOVERY ROOM Place to do uphostery. RECTUM Damn near killed him. SACRUM Holy. SECRETION Hiding something. SEIZURE Roman emperor. SPERM To reject, look away TABLET A small table. TERMINAL ILLNESS Getting sick at the airport. TUMOUR More than one. URINE Opposite of mine. VARICOSE Nearby. VEIN Conceited. Back to top |
Title: Re: "Euro- English" Post by Vikinggirl on Nov 24th, 2013 at 7:14pm
Wow Hoppy, that is amazing. I nearly wet my pants laughing [smiley=bow.gif]
Going to bed now, dreaming of Pelvis and papadoxis, and wondering who Paul is ;D Connie |
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