An interesting article I came across on the effects of cyber bullies. If this post annoys you, I'd suggest you click on your name, and choose the option at the bottom of viewing your last 40 posts. Are the posts positive, supportive and productive? Do they seek to help those in pain, direct them to useful resources? Or are they sarcastic, mean spirited, and serve only to amuse you? Do you find you have to justify your posts with statements like, "Somebody had to say it-Oh they're just thin skinned-I was only kidding around-Can't they take a joke?"

Bullies on Internet discussion forums

Forum bullying or cyber bullying has become a widespread issue throughout the Internet.  As a former moderator I've encountered it in it's various guises many times.  As one of the powers that be, it was difficult enough dealing with the usual spammers and trolls, but that was nothing compared to having to deal with already established members with high post counts and years of knowing each other in that forum.
The term 'regulars' has gained notoriety over the years on all kinds of forums.  That's where the bullies are easier to spot.  To an outsider or a lurker, it can be a bit intimidating submitting a post as a newbie.  Not knowing all the ins and outs and who knows who, it can be a bit daunting. 

To give an example, I posted a complaint on the my3cents consumer site last April regarding issues that I had with my bank, Chase.  After lurking on some of the forums on this site I knew which regulars gave out sound advice and which ones were there just to flame new posters.  So in response to my post I got four comments, three of these were sanctimonious and opinionated.  I posted back somewhat sarcastically with "Thanks for the pontificating, dogmatic, sage, etc. advice!" which resulted in 'full mod status' being put on my user account.  This basically meant from then on my posts had to be reviewed by a panel of administrators before being published.

Anyway, being crippled by the powers that be, I could no longer fight back and watched as regulars were only civil to each and downright nasty to newbies.  The unwritten rules were that the newcomers had to endure these nasty comments without reprisal.  The bullies knew how to get around the censorship and avoided talking with you, or PMing you if you hadn't been 'broken in yet'.  I also became aware a certain amount of favouritism displayed by administrators from the start.  In any particular heated debate with a regular and a newbie, they would side with the regular.


Joe

I post on 3-4 other message boards as well and it is the same in all of them, including this one. I don't know what you can do about it because most of the posters wouldn't think that you were talking about them and the ones that know you are talking about them, don't care or don't agree.

The interesting thing about it though for most is that if they were talking face to face it would usually be a cordial conversation. Go figure.

But I have to agree with the article as I have seen it many times on many different boards. :)

The sad part is that many flamed the hardest were among those who needed our help the most. Fortunately things are much, much better today and compassion for fellow CHeads and supporters can over-ride egos and ignorance.

A shame that ch.com must be policed but it's for a cause greater than any indiviual here.

DJ for President,

Brian.

And by the same token, it is very easy to over compensate to make sure that nobody ever gets their feelings hurt or offended in any way. After all, we have a God given (can I still say that here?) right to never feel offended in any way............ ::) 

I'm not condoning anarchy, bloodshed and death threats. I'm simply saying that conversations held here should follow the same standards as a conversation done face-to-face.

Some people seem to be unaware that a site that has been scrubbed to a point of being sterile, loses some of its value and effectiveness.

Marc

Awww, you big weenie!  er, ah, I mean meanie.

Bob P wrote on Dec 3^rd, 2013 at 7:26am:

Awww, you big weenie!  er, ah, I mean meanie.

Yeah Yeah.. you're a bully and we all know it.. :) Your reputation is secure here.. :-*

Seriously... sometimes the "typed" words here are taken the wrong way and we seem like bullies when that's not the intention at all. What I might find hilarious, someone else (a newbie maybe) might find offensive and take personally.

Some of us have been here so long that we forget that newbies are just that "newbies" and need to have their hands held till they get orientated a little to the ways of the website. Some are new to CH and are afraid. Sometimes they don't explain things exactly like WE think they should and we take it the wrong way and think they're trolling. (ok, come on we do and you all know it). And then we say something and they don't come back.

I've started PMing the ones I think really need help and aren't saying things right and introducing myself and trying to make them feel welcome and help them. So far it's working and I actually feel like I'm helping a few that need it.

But we don't need to have a sterile board here.. we've always been able to say what we think (good grief - Bob P and I have been insulting each other since time began and I love him dearly and haven't taken him seriously since I met him in 1999 - or was it 2000? in Vegas).

Anyhow what I'm getting at is that, yes, there are bullies out there, but we do have a choice as to whether to take them serious or not and I chose NOT to.    :-*