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Daily Chat >> Funnies and Jokes >> The differences between us on here.
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Message started by Hoppy on Jan 9th, 2015 at 11:27pm

Title: The differences between us on here.
Post by Hoppy on Jan 9th, 2015 at 11:27pm
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job.


Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.


Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.


Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.


Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!


Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.


Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.


Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.


Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.


Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by AussieBrian on Jan 10th, 2015 at 4:52am
You can't buy Fosters in Australia. We prefer to drink beer.

Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by Mark Olson on Jan 10th, 2015 at 3:37pm
LOL!  Spot on.

Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by Hoppy on Jan 11th, 2015 at 1:24am
Brian wrote, You can't buy Fosters in Australia. We prefer
to drink beer.

The Adventures of Barry McKenzie 1972, starring
Barry Crocker & Barry Humphries certainly made
Fosters a household name back then in the Old Dart,
and still on tap in most pubs even to this day.
A technicolour yawn  [smiley=hurl.gif] a scene
I remember well from the movie.

Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by Hoppy on Jan 11th, 2015 at 6:34am
Forgot to mention you can now buy Fosters 375ml cans
at Dan Murphy's here in Perth, $39.00 per carton.

Cheers, Hoppy.

Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by Mike NZ on Jan 11th, 2015 at 1:43pm

Hoppy wrote on Jan 11th, 2015 at 6:34am:
Forgot to mention you can now buy Fosters 375ml cans at Dan Murphy's here in Perth, $39.00 per carton.


And you can buy the better tasting, empty cans at $40 per carton?

Title: Re: The differences between us on here.
Post by Hoppy on Jan 11th, 2015 at 8:24pm
Its not my preferred  [smiley=beer.gif] but if it was the
only Lager left on the planet, then I would like the tinnie
to be full  [smiley=lolk.gif]

Cheers  [smiley=beer.gif] Hoppy.

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