I have not been on this site for quite some time but for good reason

Monday night, my wife Nicole lost her long battle with cancer. Although her final days were very tough, she died peacefully surrounded by myself and her 2 children and although we are heartbroken, we do feel relieved that she is not suffering anymore.

Nobody on this site knows her personally and yet many of you know her very well because she was one of those amazing supporters, who in the background, first helped me to get diagnosed with CH and then helped mean to manage them or was just there with reassurance after a particularly bad hit.

When I was first diagnosed with CH they consumed me and I thought my world had caved in but watching Nicole go through her many operations and treatments, it very much helped me put my own suffering into perspective. Yes they hurt like hell but they would finish and they would not kill me.

So this message is a tribute to my princess who I will miss so much it hurts but who has given me the strength to continue and not give in.

Alan

Alan,

That's a beautiful and moving tribute.

While it doesn't compare, I lost my Brother to cancer last year and I had the same sense of how lucky I am just to have CH and nothing worse.

Thoughts and prayers.

Peter.

Alan, I am so sorry. Having not heard from you for a while, I was in hopes she had gone into remission. Words don't carry a lot of weight. Wish I could be there to express myself personally.

Jerry

Alan,
Thank you for sharing this very personal story with us. I am sorry to read of your loss. Under these very unfortunate circumstances, you share a positive outlook few would share. Hang in there.

-Gregg in Las Vegas

Hi Alan, sorry for your loss. I lost my brother and sister 3 days apart to cancer, 4yrs ago, although not quite the same, I can relate to what your going through at this sad time in your life.

Hoppy

So sorry for your loss Alan.  I have always said there are worse things than CH. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Alan, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I cannot even start to imagine your pain.
Sending you love, hugs and prayers

Alan, my heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry for your loss, but please take heart that the love others had for us in this human existence, goes well beyond the scope of our understanding.

Love and prayers,
Melissa

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.

Your tribute to her is moving, and obviously heartfelt. All our best wishes to you and to your family.

I sure hope I don't get booted off CH.COM for this comment...which may seem crass and insensitive. There is NO pain to compare with a CH...At a KIP 10 I would have sold my kids into slavery for relief. I just lost my son Adam O'Connor ... Still reeling...I found peace in my belief system...comfort in knowing he is fine now...he was my life...still is...BUTT...during a serious CH hit...I would have sold my soul...Addie watched me grow shrooms......the result was that he never had to sit in his wheelchair ...tears down his face as Dad suffered another KIP 10. In My Humble Opinion....There is NO pain worse than a cluster.

So sorry for your loss Alan. I've pretty much lost my whole family, but my husband of 43 years was the worst loss I've ever had.

It does get better as time goes by, but it's something you have to live with. And no one can say anything to make it easier.
:'(