Hi Christine - I guess the biggest thing for me to do when my hubby's in cycle is keep the house calm, make sure we don't go anywhere without his O2 and imitrex, and check his supply of meds.  When he's in pain sometimes he likes ice. His body temp range doesn't have alot of tolerance, so I try to keep the house comfortable.

He doesn't want any pampering. Usually he tries to lay down afterwards, it pretty much wipes him out.

Hope this helps.

My Husband is the greatest supporter. There is not much he can do for me . But he knows when I 'am getting one by my body language. So he quickly gets me to the bed room. I really can't talk but he gets me a cold frozen pack. A tissue and a washcloth. The on thing he dose do is to keep me informed on how long I might have to go and this is reassuring to me. holds me and makes sure I'm not passing out from the pain and the crazy heart beat. Love him he is the only one that can make me safe. That is so important to have.
If he is not with me. I'm scared

hello
sorry to hear! i know when i have an attack i want to be left alone so this seems to be a common reaction! as long as he knows your there is the best thing! good luck and stay strong!

Sammy99 wrote on Dec 28^th, 2009 at 4:10am:


You said previously that he's a long-time clusterhead.  The above really sounds as if he's dealt with it for quite some time. 

Many of us get less demonstrative as time goes on.  Old-timers tend to approach an attack (below a certain level, of course--severe attacks are a different animal altogether) as if it's a battle.  In order to "win", we need all our concentration and strength to endure the thing, pass through it, and minimize the effects.  It's very difficult. 

I think that's at least part of the reason many of us prefer--and must--be alone during an attack.  We cannot have the distraction of another person around, no matter how well-intended. 

But that's not all of it.  There's also a powerful revulsion in some of us to being touched during an attack (me included).  We can't tolerate it.  "Noli me tangere." 

It's by no means a universal reaction, but I suspect that he reacts in that way.

Sometimes the best thing a supporter can do is to understand what's going on, and provide what's needed when asked for it. 

I know that there's much more that most supporters would do if they could, but when he says that there's nothing you can do, there's really nothing you can do.  He knows what he needs to get past it.  He'll emerge from his "zone" and respond when he's able to do so.

It's tough to do nothing.  I know.

Thanks for caring so much for him.

All the best,

George 

I got one of those facial mask icepacks for Joe. I don't think he uses it while he's sucking on the O2 tank but afterwards for the hangover pain. He likes having it. As he's been reporting the last few days, he's trying RedBull for the first time with this cycle. It seems to help him alot too so I go get him that and set it on the table with his icepack. Then I leave the room. He doesn't want me to watch him and I don't want to be a nuisance.  But I'm within hearing range so if I hear him fumbling around I go back in to see what he needs.

Carrie wrote on Dec 30^th, 2009 at 4:48pm:

Carrie, many CHeads get a good deal of relief from slamming a can of Red Bull at the immediate onset of a hit.  Can't hurt.

AussieBrian wrote on Dec 30^th, 2009 at 7:04pm:

Thanks for the advice, we will try anything at this point.

My best friend and mom are both CH sufferers. My friend has been chronic for six months with no relief. I want to help both of them, but i am seven hours away in college. It's terrifying because I never know what is happening from not only day to day but hour to hour. Sometimes I feel as if I should be at home to help them, but honestly I'm not sure if there is anything I could do for either of them. Right now I am my friend's outlet when venting. It is breaking my heart, but I can't even pretend to understand his pain and I am willing to be that outlet for him. I just don't know if there is anything more I can do. When things get really bad he shuts me out completely, and I think that is harder than his angry outbursts. My mom on the other hand regards me completely as her daughter, and tries to hide her pain from me. However, I somewhat know what she is going through because of my friend. I just want to help them, but I don't think there is anything I can do. Suggestions?

Well first I would like to say "thank you" for this site. I am a supporter to my boyfriend of nearly 10 years and he has suffered with these terrible beasts for nearly all but two of them. We are both at are wits end and i find myself in tears thinking how can this be what life has in store for us?  He has tried so many medications and treatments and we both feels so hopeless. I am happy to read about the role of the supporter because there are nights I lie awake in bed listening to him pace the floors, rock in the chair, cry, get in and out of the shower, turn on and off the O2 etc and wonder...why can't i do anything for him?  I am a nurse  and I can take epidurals out of peoples spines, give highly controlled medications and save peoples lives but I can't help him? What is happening?  Lately he's been complaining of a "bee buzzing in his head" feeling. Does anyone know what this is? Is it just part of the clustering.....letting him know he's going to get one?  It goes on for days when he's clustering and the Dr.'s can't seem to expain it.  I feel so alone...I am so glad I found you!
Gmdanaher85@netzero.net

Go to the medications section and check out the post "123 pf days and I think I know why". It's a D-3, Magnesium, calcium, zinc and fish oil daily supplement regimen. Pennies a day, good for you even if you don't have CH and MANY on the board who try it are showing favorable results, including complete remission. No guarantees mind you, but cheap and worth a try.

Then review this link and make sure he's getting the maximum benefit from the 02:

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

Bless your heart for being a supporter. If my wife hadn't googled the original CH streaming board I'd still be chewing aspirin and crying for 90-120 minutes at a time.

Joe

edited cuz i can't spell today!!!

[quote author=6D46444C4E42270 link=1159993470/14#14 date=1204920426]
Study all you can about the condition....education is power.  He may not feel up to a lot of reading so it might be up to you.

Hi Jackie,
It has been up to me to read this important and helpful information on CH and I get frustrated that my husband does not take a more pro-active approach in researching his own condition.  I know it's because he doesn't feel like doing a lot of reading, but some days I don't either. 

Some days he won't take his medicine because when he keeps getting the CH's regardless and then he says the meds don't work (which is logical).  He hates pills and he hates going to the dr.  I have to get on his ass about both and it can be exhausting.  Today, my attitude is, "It's your head, it's up to you what you want to do about it."  I know this sounds ugly.  Today is not one of my best.

Some days I am strong enough to handle this and other days I'm not.  I know I need to be patient and that he is hurting beyond comprehension, but I'm also trying to help his brother who has stage 4 bladder cancer.  The combination of these two horrible medical conditions is almost more than I (or he) can bear some days.  Today I am feeling more frustrated than hopeful.  I know it's really "the beast" that I am mad at. 
Oh well, thanks for listening.  What doesn't kills us makes us stronger, right?

Any more advice is most welcome.

sldrswyfe wrote on Jul 13^th, 2007 at 1:32pm:


This is a lovely post 
A lot of people I have seen posting about cluster headaches say they want to be alone, but I find that my partner being there just to put a hand on my head or wipe it with a cold towel helps. When I have a bad attack when I am alone I will moan and groan and hit my head and take fast shallow breaths.  but if he's there he tells me to relax and breathe deeply. It helps that someone is there to calm you down I think...even though sometimes I snap because I can't always breathe deeply and stay calm. 

That's why, perhaps i am the opposite of most people where when the headache gets more intense I shout him to come and sit with me. 

What a great place...just got done reading all the posts.  My husband doesn't like doing research~~because he is dyslexic he finds reading and big medical terms hard to understand.  Some stuff I read on here I don't understand~~But I do relate with so many of you. Bob hates to be touched while fighting the battle. He like his o2 and peace and quite.  This last cycle after 2 1/2 years remission has been his worse by far, they came back with a bang.  Like other posters here I ask what I can do or get him then remain as quite as possible.  He has never moaned like he has in this cycle.  I went away to be with family for 3 days.  I was so worried about him it was hard to enjoy myself and I finally broke down in front of my family.  I know he is hurting and hurting bad but seeing him going through this is also hard on me.  Thanks for letting me let my feelings out.  I can't believe it's taken me so long to find this site.