i have read this forum every day for more than 3 years but reluctantly i
have been avoiding this thread pretty much most of the time...dunno
why...maybe im stupid...
i have to say that i dint want to get "converted" and those are my own words. i was really hoping that i could find a useful solution via the docs...although its prob only been about 4 years since my first attack ive tried almost everything in terms of drugs...and for me the side effects have been pretty bad.
worst was topamax...although it worked maybe in cutting down my attacks 50% of the time and reducing the number by half it left me like a zombie...then it started to screw with my heart and give me major panic attacks (rare but not uncommon)
just before i continue i want to tell you about my headaches.
before i lived in japan (for about 5-6 years) and all was sweet.
then my grand father died and i came back to austraila for the funeral.
when i was in australia for the funeral i got influenza very bad. but by the time i was ready to go home it had just turned into bad sinus trouble and some headaches (little did i know....)
when i got back to japan it kept getting worse...
with each day over about a week the pain would come and go about every hour (maybe two or three if i could manage some sleep) until it got crippling.
the pain was typical cluster style (tho i didn't know it at the time) screwed up left eye, left sinus going crazy, aches down my left side, and this death bringing pain behind my left eye...
i went to the doctors and they told me (i think i went to three docs at this stage..) that i had sinus problems...
so many drugs later and after no love the headaches dissipated...
yay!!!
a month later they are back again...
i cant really remember but without "short bullshit cures" - that i ahve tried from this site...some semi ok some resulting in nothing... i have not had a day without a headache since..
in the path of my looking for help ive been to maybe 6-8 neurologists in two countries...been fired from two jobs...lost two girlfriends...one of 5 years...lost many friends who couldnt cope with it (i dont really blame them) and made stronger friends...
one thing about these headaches are that they have taken me to the brink of suicide...ive been there ...tried it...and thanks to people that were looking out for me when i was in cycle i failed..

ive been to hell and back...some weeks only a few times...others many times a day.
after reading all these posts in this tread i just wanna make some points..
i have no problem about taking illegal drugs to help me live....and my headaches get so bad that there is no way i can hold a job when they do get to the extreme so who cares about them....im in my "down cycle (two or three headaches a day - and maybe kip 3-5)" at the moment...there is no off or on...but when it gets to a full blown "on" cycle i cant leave the house...there is NO work to worry about being drug tested...there is NO life...
i still consider my self episodic even tho i have had headaches pretty much every day for the last 3 years...i read these boards daily and i can understand the hell that some of the others that have no "down" time must feel...
anyway...
all that being said.
i think im starting a new cycle of "bad" headaches just this past two weeks....so...
if i can im gonna try to see if the clusterbuster stuff works for me.
the problem may be getting the stuff in Australia...i wanted to do musshies but its summer here now so it might be hard. i would rather try seeds but i really dont know again if its doable in australia...
anyone who condems what i want to try to bring a bit of life
back please read what i have written carefully...
ill try to let you know of the results if i can get the stuff together...
if not ill prob be to dead or massively tired in the coming weeks to check whats going on....
all the best and painf free to all
cyb