kevmd wrote on Jul 4^th, 2008 at 4:26pm:


Dont remove it!  

That will be $50 for the advice!  

Get a dog. 

Quote:


Lol. If you don't want a dog either, there are these motion detecting sprinklers. Kind of pricey, but they sound like fun. You hook them up to a garden hose, set them near the spot where fluffy useally comes, and they detect fluffy's presence, turn on, and give fluffy a bath. I guess if you really hated fluffy, you could put some dye in there, just for fun

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Coyotes work too, but I like cats, so I wouldn't reccommend that.

barry_sword wrote on Jul 4^th, 2008 at 7:43pm:


First of all, Barry, you should stop eating the cats for food.

Secondly, I'm not anti-cat....I proposed a safe, water based system for controlling the outdoor version of those smelly, arrogant, high-assed little critters.

Third, I stole this next exerpt from the joke forum.....thanks Aussie Barry.....

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...

8:00 am - Dog food!  My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!  My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!  My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch!  My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!  My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones!  My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!  My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow!  Watched TV with the people!  My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!  My favourite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........

So THAT is why you are always avoiding me whenever we are at the same gathering......


I really am hard to keep away though, once I"ve decided I like you I tend to harass constantly.  Brussel sprouts will keep me away though.

Failing that, spraying hot pepper or sprinkling white pepper wherever they 'sniff' will usually get the message across that this is not a place to poke around.  It will even stop them from using locations other than a litter box for their morning constitutional.

Cat

Me, I just 'splained to the cat that he was here to "work" (outside) catching rodents and keeping snakes away and that I didn't particularly care for cats (I'm really a dog person) and that he'd best get along with the dogs.

He keeps pretty well to himself, I haven't seen a mouse or a snake and he associates with the dogs when he needs company (hates humans).

So you might try "talking" to the darn cat and 'splaining' things to it. They're a lot smarter than you think.

Hugs BD

P.S.  Course Joe (the cat) sometimes has to have things "splained" to him again when he forgets, but he has a short attention span...

Just last week, someone around here got sent to the pokey for shooting a neighbor's cat with a bb gun.  The cat is recovering from a wound in the neck.  Me thinks the perp is getting drilled by somebody named Bruno right now, which is probably a lot more irritating than the cat in his yard.

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with warm regards,
Tony

me never claimed to be a smart man.  never was one for the fancy book learning.  But thanks for the grammer tip any way.   I'ma very imparticular to proper punctuation as well!!!!   

The dog will do far more damage than the cat could ever do!

First thing you need is a good accurate pellet rifle and a 6 pack.

Drink 2 beers and place them in the critters favorite spot.

Then sit where you can see the area while drinking some more beer.

When the pest comes around shoot one of the cans.

Sit back down and drink the last two beers.

If the cat comes back and you miss the cans, well it’s an accident.