I will give you some of my fave jokes, and hope their pun won't get lost in translation.

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a horrible accident. Suddenly, an expression of panic shows on his face and he says to his wife:
''I can't feel my legs!''
''That's quite possible,'' the woman responds, ''They had to amputate your hands."



A desperate man visits his doctor and complains:
''The walls are closing in on me!''
''Then you shouldn't be here, but at your landlord's''.

A drunk hobo staggers around on the street when he spots a woman and a child.
''That must be the ugliest child I have ever seen in my entire life'', he says to her, and walks off again.
The lady breaks down in tears, and the sound of her sobbing attracts a pizza delivery boy.
''What's wrong,'' he asks.
''I have just been insulted so badly, you wouldn't believe'', she cries.
''There there,'' the delivery boy says comfortingly, ''Here's a handkerchief to dry your eyes, and a banana for the sweet little chimp.''

A German, a Dutchman and a Belgian work in an Islamic country, where alcohol is strictly prohibited. However, one night they are sick of it and have a friend smuggle some booze into their village and get drunk. Off course they are caught, and the judge sentences them to flaggelation.
They are Westerners however and the judge does not wanna come off as barbaric, and offers them some painrelief.
The German dude requests a rug over his back, but it doesn't make any difference.
The Dutchman asks for a matras on his back, and nothing is felt by him. He giggles and thinks to himself: ''I bet the Belgian is too dumb to get himself a matras.''
Finally, it's the Belgian's turn and the judge says: ''Tell me what you would like as a painrelief'' to which he responds:
''Could you tie the Dutchman on my back?''

How many times will a Dutchman use a condom?
Three times: once from the inside, once from the outside, and finally as a chewing gum.



Hope you'll like them!

Hey I'm Dutch as well, we can laugh about ourself! Ask your dad, as he is from Rotterdam and they have a peculiar sense of humor.
Glad you liked  them!

....And as a finishing touch, God created the Dutch!

Maalstroom wrote:

"How many times will a Dutchman use a condom?
Three times: once from the inside, once from the outside, and finally as a chewing gum."

I am happy to know that you do recycling, maalstroom!

Sandra (who does not recycle condoms!)

P.S.:  As for God creating the Dutch, even he makes mistakes!

Em wrote on Jul 28^th, 2008 at 7:57am:


I was just referring to my good friend maalstroom-let us stll be friends!