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Tiannia

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Life does not apologies......

Posts: 3422
Eugene, OR
Gender: female

Damn head
Jul 27^th, 2008 at 3:17am

I have not had a hit over a K6 in months. My preventative keeps them to tolerable, when I do get breakthrough's

But all damn day I've been fighting this bastard. Fucking heavy hard shadows all damn day, my eye swelling, sweats, the whole damn dance and I just did not know when he was going to really start playing and was just trying to have a day outside with my kids. Angry

At 5 I cooked them dinner and I ended up letting them watch a movie while I paced and rocked in my room. I forgot how crapping trex makes me feel. It took a K8 to tolerable and then about 8pm I got slammed again. Hard enough that i took me to my knees and I had to call my daughter to get my trex. Undecided

Took another trex shot... And am on the down side of it now but fuck... I feel like I just went 3 rounds in the UFC. And what makes it worse is to see my kids tip toeing around me asking if they can help. I always hat that part of this. Cry

When I put my son to bed and said blessing with him. He put his hand on my head, asking the God and Goddess to make my head better...

Fuck I hate this bastard. I hate what it does to me but what it does to my entire family. There are times...

ok there is tomorrow (hopefully will take the kids for a bike ride) and I'm going to try and sleep and hopefully wont get hit tonight.

Blessed Be, Clusterville.
Maybe hi, deciding that he wanted to get re-acquainted tonight allowed someone else some peace.

PF Wishes.
Tia

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DennisM1045 CH.com Alumnus Offline One wave at a time! Posts: 3437 Haverhill, Massachusetts, USA Gender:	Re: Damn head Reply #1 - Jul 27^th, 2008 at 9:56am I hate it for you Tia. Seeing your pain reflected in the eyes of a child is hard to take. Sounds like you have some great kids though. I hope the bastard leaves you alone so you can enjoy the bike ride. -Dennis-
Back to top	Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is Oxygen, you must use proper caution. So be safe, don't smoke while using O2. Kill the pain and not yourself. IP Logged

artonio7 Ex Member	Re: Damn head Reply #2 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 12:01pm Hang in there Tia... You're in my thoughts and prayers. with warm regards, Tony
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thebbz Ex Member	Re: Damn head Reply #3 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 12:17pm Hoping today is better. Go away you bastard demon. all the best thebb
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barry_sword CH.com Alumnus Offline Mountain Biking Keeps Me Sane Posts: 3947 Bracebridge, Canada Gender:	Re: Damn head Reply #4 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 12:32pm Sorry Tia. Vibes and prayers going out to you.
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echo CH.com Alumnus Offline Chronic and still alive --- I Win! Posts: 4544 Overland Park, KS Gender:	Re: Damn head Reply #5 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 1:17pm Sorry you're getting nailed Tia. Hang tough, kick the SOBs arz. Hope you're PF soon.
Back to top	"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it". Proud father of a US Marine, Marine turned COP, Navy Corpsman, and KS Army National Guard. Our 4 sons serve. IP Logged

Tiannia

CH.com Alumnus

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Life does not apologies......

Posts: 3422
Eugene, OR
Gender: female

Re: Damn head
Reply #6 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 1:19pm

Hi guys.

Sunday I was just wiped, just heavy shadows all day. Might have been rebounds from the Trex. Its like a catch 22. Take the trex and chance getting arebound or dont take it, and go crazy. I just did not want to move.

I love my kids.We sat inside and played play station. They are great. About 7:30 Shaun got home, we ate dinner and I took the kids outside to play.

I do have great kids. Shara can look at me and see that I am getting a headache. Cameron says that my hugs feel weird when I get one. That I'm hard. But he still gives me hugs over and over to "make it better". I think that is what hurts worse then anything CH does to me.

It makes me hate it more, and make me fight it harder. Bastard might take a day from me, but I make sure to enjoy everyday that it is not with me, just to prove that I am the one that wins.

Was able to sleep last night without any unwanted visitors. And woke up without even a shadow.

I love you guys. May we all find peace, rest and happiness against everything that this Bastard throws at us.

PF Wishes Cluster Family
Tia

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mummymac CH.com Alumnus Offline Kissed Donny Osmond and proud of it Posts: 943 Jersey\|United_Kingdom\|europe Gender:	Re: Damn head Reply #7 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 1:36pm Tia hoping today was better for you
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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: Damn head
Reply #8 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 2:08pm

Tia, Your kids are giving you exactly what you would give them.....love during a particularly difficult time. I feel sorry for ALL of you-that the Beast shares your home, but, it is what it is........hey, I'd take a Sat or Sun for you, give you the day to enjoy life and family, but, sadly, that won't happen, coz the Beast doesn't share that way.damn.........
Please, though, look at another die of this......you are raising very compassionate children, who have SEEN extreme pain, and KNOW that you need love and understanding. They will take this with them all their lives............so, yes, I am sorry YOU get hit, I am sorry the CHILDREN are a part of it..........but, girl, you've done something VERY right ......I think your children are something very special!
I sure hope today is PF for you, and the beast has moved on........
HUgs for you and your lovely lil ones!
Cathi

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Tiannia

CH.com Alumnus

Offline

Life does not apologies......

Posts: 3422
Eugene, OR
Gender: female

Re: Damn head
Reply #9 - Jul 28^th, 2008 at 5:48pm

Thank you everyone. It is amazing how much it helps to come somewhere where people understand.

Today has been good.

What CH has taught me is to not worry about tomorrow. Take each day as it comes, with or without the Beast. Either way I'm going to do everything I can with my kids, hell, with my life. If I give up, the daemon wins, and as my husband so eloquently puts it, "he can suck my hairy left butt cheek." ok well mines not hairy, but you get the idea. Wink

My kids are extremely intelligent and sympathetic. And are a blessing that I would never give up. Some days are rough.. but in the end, I know that we are stronger because of it.

Love and Light Tia

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Sophia

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Re: Damn head
Reply #10 - Jul 29^th, 2008 at 2:00pm

I hope your family and you are better. I dont have kids but I know my boyfriend sure gets upset when I have a CH attack. I have begged the God and Goddess myself and have had my prayers answered in a good neurologist, Imitrex, O2 and a boyfriend who is smart enough to leave me alone during an attack unless he has to come and sit on my out of fear I may take a flying lesson with no wings down to the driveway. That happens during a Kip 8 or higher. I keep saying over and over 'Demon, demon go away and play with someone else today--- like a convicted ax murderer or something' and it still shows up. Wishing you and yours a pain free fun time. Sophia Cool

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