BarbaraD wrote on Jul 29^th, 2008 at 7:34am:


Ya ... When hell freezes over your senile OLD brain MIGHT come up with an idea .. Brilliant is stretching it though ...

Besides, why would ANYONE want to meet up with other brain defects?  Let me give you a little sampling of what happened to ME the last three times I met with a group:

1 - The last one that I went to, after driving 9,842 miles, through the middle of no where, and then finding the house, this bubbly YOUNG gal comes running at me and throws herself at me!  She damn near knocked this old fart over!  Has she no shame?  What would her parents think of her shamelessly throwing herself at an old man?

And then there was all this food there, of every size and type, I think.  They kept trying to force some down my throat.  I think it was laced with rat poison.

THEN everyone was SO bored, with nothing to say to one another, that this evil intruder from some foreign country, that has lots of snow, decided he would try to liven things up by pretending to be sick.  He went so far that he even had the doctors admit him to the hospital.  Something about his heart.  But those that know of his evil ways, KNOWS he has no heart!  His act was so messed up, it didn't even happen there, but a few days later!  SHEESH!!!

Then, another wicked woman tried to tell us this song and dance about how rough she had it after leaving ... Something about a flat tire, or something like that to try and generate sympathy.  Ya want SYMPATHY?  Look in the dictionary.  You will find it somewhere between shit and syphilis.

Oye vay!!!

2 - The one before that, actually a week before, I had to fly to the center of hell, I believe.  At least it was that hot there.  I had to bring two rowdy offspring with me, to try and keep an eye on them, but that didn't work.  I only got to see them occasionally.

Most of the time I was there this ancient old broad from Tex-ass, somewhere, kept hanging around me, bugging the dog snot outta me!  She was CONSTANTLY harassing me about this that or the other thing!

The whole time there, it seems where ever you happen to listen in, SOMEONE has to bring up their medical problems ... Most of them whined about some little headache thingydoo.  What a bunch of cry babies!  Sheesh!  It is JUST a headache!

And then people kept coming up to you, and invading your private space, and throwing their arms around you!  The NOIVE of some peoples!

I swear most of them need to go to AA meetings!  They seemed to spend almost every waking moment in the BAR!

The whole time seemed to be spent pouring drinks down their throats, stuffing their faces with food, and trying to bend your ear off with their constant yammering!

And then you had to be on constant alert, because there were several "ferinerrs " there.  Some came from the northern portion of this continent, where they spend most of their time on ice hitting this stupid black thing around with these bent sticks.  Either that or drinking this panther piss that they call beer.  There were also a few from across the pond that were trying to infiltrate our society.  Fortunately, most of them have gone back over "there" except this one slippery devil that seems to have evaded the immigrations people, and is hiding up in that New Jork area somewheres ...

I think there were several CIA or FBI people there too, because every time you turned around, there was this bright flash of light from some sort of secret weapon or something.

WOW, what a horror show!

3 - And the third time, was just over a year ago.  Much of what went on down in that hot as the dickens place I told you about, above, went on there, too!

But the real kicker of THAT gathering was that some evil individual must have put out a contract on my life, because some demented female smashed into the vehicle I was driving and flipped it several times, to try and kill me from the crash, or from shooting of rockets of oxygen cylinders that I had in the vehicle.  Fortunately, none of those cylinder rockets went off!

I then had to go to my EX-wife, and try to explain why her 18 month old vehicle was no longer usable!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

And you want me to go to ANOTHER one of those gatherings?

Chuck

(Ok, just tell me when and where, and I will do my best to be there!)

Well Chuckie - you can always come to Niagara this weekend or NYC the following weekend... I'll even drive down and get you - howzat?!


Pssst... if the thought of my driving doesn't scare the bejaysus out of him nothing will!!)

And if anyone can sort out this bloody time/space continuum malarkey so it only takes a maximum of 30 minutes for me to get to any ch'ers I'll be a VERY happy Helen I can tell you!

*sigh* WHY is Texas so far from New York?? It's just snot fair... *grump*