HOA's! Don't get me started!

Oops, too late, sorry.
Yes, we are dealing with one on a property we own outside of Wilmington, NC. It's rented and we have great tenants who take care of the place.
The house is in a new subdivision of homes in separate "communities" with prices ranging from $170,000 (ours) to $300,000. Our house is a small 3 bedroom ranch with a one car garage.
We have had problems with the HOA since the day we bought the house from the builder.
1) The house has beige siding and the builder had painted the front door and shutters and bright purple. We applied to the HOA change the paint to a dark blue, sending them a color swatch and waited......two months later we just did it without approval. We got a call from the HOA lady asking if we had painted (I think she was checking to see if I would lie to her or not). I said, according to the bylaws, if we have not heard from the HOA within 30 days, no approval was necessary. That shut her up.
2) Yard. The builder of our "community" put in the cheapest, weediest, insect ridden sod he could find. We received letter after letter telling us to fix our lawn. Nobody else on the street received these letters, even though they received the same crappy sod and their yards looked worse than ours. Just us. Hmmm? I asked them why target us - is it because our house is rented - because we don't live there? We hired a lawn maintenance company to come out six times a year to try to help this miserable sod, and there is some improvement, but not much. At least our tenant keeps the weeds mowed.
3) Trailers - our tenant is a finish carpenter who works for himself for different builders in the area and has a small completely enclosed trailer that houses HIS tools. He cannot leave the trailer at the various jobsites it is working at so, brought it home in the evening and parked it in the driveway. Not allowed - I understand this. We explained to the tenant, and he found a place where he could safely store the trailer and it was removed. We were down there last weekend, trailer is gone. We just received a registered letter, with notification of a $100 PER DAY fine, from the HOA that their spy, who has nothing better to do but drive around the neighborhood, saw the trailer there on Monday. Our tenant had come home for lunch. The trailer was not parked in the driveway, it was hitched to his truck because he was going to be going back to work.
4) For sale or rent - No signs whatsoever - not even real estate company signs are allowed anywhere. Can't even put out one of those small flyer boxes to potential buyers can get information. BUT -the builders can put up their signs. Is this legal?
I am absolutely LIVID and I don't know what to do. This HOA is paying $30,000 a year for a homeowner's association management company to do this for them. They are power hungry and I think are overstepping their bounds, especially with the "no compete" against the builder sign ordinance.
CRAP!!!

Sandy