from the news.  I have GOT to stop watching it alltogether!!  TV can be like poision to me and my anxiety is just through the roof!!

Losing my little boy to school was hard enough, and now this whole election thing has got my stomach in knots.  I can't sleep at night, panic attacks are back, but I'm trying so very hard to work through it all.  I know a lot of it stems from my childhood.  I'm back to smoking again after 4 years quit, and will definately quit again, but I have to take care of my anxiety/depression first.  I owe it to myself to quit beating myself up about every little frickin thing I do that keeps me from being some fantasy of a perfect mother, wife and friend.  NO MORE!!  I have lost my self and I am on a quest to find me again.  I'll be damned if I'm going to give up!

I wanted to say this on here because you are all my family and the internet at this time is not a good thing for me to be "browsing", so I have made CH.com my homepage, which I've never done, because I always had some news page before and I have to distance myself from it as much as I can.

If you find me posting a ton, please just understand it's therapy.  Or, if I don't post much at all, it's because I'm finding other healthy things to do.

Love you all, and thank you for the vent.

mel

Ok, I won't worry, but I WILL be sending all the good, positive, bright thoughts and energy I got your way...how's that?

Bake a pie and take it over the woods to Grandmaw's house. Just don't let the big bad wolf eat you up on the way...

Seriously -- we all get this way around the first of school..... We used to have a "mother's meeting" when school started just to get over this part.... It will pass, but in the meantime, give grandmaw a big hug from all of us....

Hugs BD

And another hug for you, this one is domestic.
all the best
thebb

i have serious case of anxiety disorder daily and have for years. i too like to hide from social things. so sister I can relate and am more than happy to talk with you anytime. I understand
  completely   breathe deep and the wave will pass keep you mind occupied and i will be thinking of you.

Karl

     Quote:


Of course you are.  There's never been a doubt in my mind. 

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

In my mind you are a sweet considerate person who adores her family and is always around to help a friend. I've also been blessed to see your creative side!

I am sorry you are haveing a tough time. I haven't watched the local or national TV news for years (it is banned). It made me feel much better and with the way things are now days if I need to know something I can go look for it any time I want. I think tuning it off is a good idea to try.

I worked out of town (as usual) a couple days this week and just got home. I miss my kids so much when I am gone and the girl going to school has made it harder - so I feel what you are saying about your little man.

This is gonna sound gay (no offense CC) but I seriously force myself to think of my kids when I am having a tough patch during some work trip and the roads are hell and I am late which mean I won't get to pick my kids up and there were more cuts at work today, etc and it really helps. There is a kids song about thinking happy thoughts and I think there is some wisdom there......

I hope you feel better soon.

Hey Mel,
       I haven't been posting much, but your thread really hits home with me!
       I lost myself once not too long ago, as you might remember!  I didn't start smoking again, but I did learn a thing or two about dealing with the finding yourself again.
      Put the ciggie's down and get your camera and bicycle, go for a ride and look at all the things around you that you over look in your rushed to deal with daily life routine.
      Careful though, when you do find yourself again, you just might be shocked to findout that you are that wonderful, beautiful, enegetic and creative person everyone has been talking to for years!
      That's my slant on it anyhow! If you need to talk I am always availavle, just let me know and I will send you the phone numbers.
                                     Your Broter John

Mel,

I'm not going tell you what to do or what not to do. I'll simply let you know that I'm thinking about you, your family, and everybody's welfare. In the end, you'll get it all sorted out - you're a strong woman.

Hang in there, kiddo. We all luvs ya.

Bill

Linda_Howell wrote on Sep 5^th, 2008 at 8:53pm:


Amen, sistah!  I know that God knew me well enough to make me really flawed.  If there had been a chance on earth that I could be perfect I would be really hard to live with;)

Breath Mel,  you are wonderful:)  (just the way you are....)

Kimberly

I can so relate to you Mel. The news is depressing. I watch very little TV mostly cartoons and sports. There would be no TV if I was single.
The mother thing, you will question yourself about that for life. My children are grown and I still beat my self up from time to time.
I do hope you stop smoking again.

Your in my thoughts everyday. Listen to Linda and Margi.

Sending hugs.