First have to have one to get them anything.

Marriage is a relationship in which one
person is always right, and the other is
usually the husband.


When our lawn
mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I
always had something else to take care of
first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always
something more important to me.


Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
point.  When I arrived home one day,
I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of
sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a
short time and then went into the house. I
was gone only a few minutes. When I came out
again I handed her a toothbrush.

When
you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might
as well sweep the
driveway.'


The doctors say I
will walk again, but I will always have a limp. 

Jonny I would have cut your mule off with that damned sewing scissors

LMFAO