W/B, Tony. It's good to see you again.
I'm George. I've been a clusterhead since I got my first attack in 1966 at the age of thirteen--episodic the whole time. I used to cycle twice a year, spring and fall, for 6-8 weeks at a time. The $%^& things have gotten farther and farther apart, though, and my last three cycles have been three years between.
For whatever reason, it seems to be weakening as time goes by. I'm hopeful that the thing may leave me in peace altogether one day. We'll see.
I found this place in 2000, but didn't post much until 2006. I live in Boise, Idaho, with my two best supporters--my wife, Liz, and my daughter, Ellen.
I've been on the 'net since the old message board/listserv days--before the web existed--and have participated in many online forums on different subjects. What I've found here, though, I've found nowhere else--a strong sense of community, a shared purpose, people who understand completely what it means to fight a common enemy whose attacks are almost beyond measure, comprehension, or endurance. A band of brothers and sisters. A family.
Most of all, I've found a remarkable group of people who are willing to do almost anything for others like themselves--it never ceases to amaze me what the folks here will do to help their cluster brethren. Ignore the occasional contentiousness and clash of (very different) personalities.... It's not important, and shouldn't be surprising, given that we have nothing more in common than a strange sort of head.
I've often heard it said that any group that consists of more than seven people will inevitably divide into factions. When you add to that the fact that half of this particular group at any one time is dealing with a relentless series of attacks that kill sleep, beat them senseless, and grind them down, our actual daily civility is even more remarkable.
Clusterheads are tough people. They've had to be tough to survive. When strong-minded people disagree, it really doesn't shock me.
Here's the thing: Every single group on the internet I've been involved with over the years that has managed to survive more than a couple of years eventually gets to the point where the old-timers begin to decry the loss of the "good old days" and ways that were somehow better, more civil, less contentious, and more supportive than the "bad new days". Valued members who've been lost or who wandered away for this or that reason. Etc, etc.
Well...things change. It's the way of it. People come and go from internet forums for whatever reasons just as they come and go from any group, anywhere.
Besides--even a cursory examination of the archives will demonstrate that the "good old days" in any internet forum weren't any different than the "bad new days". People fight sometimes, because they're people. The fun thing about 'net forums is that you can actually go look at what was said--unlike real life, which fond memory suffuses with a rosy glow.
Look--much more good is done here than bad. People have actually been helped. Lives have been changed for the better, through the efforts of the people here. How many cooperative efforts can that be said of?
Come what may, I intend to remain here. I'm not the most knowledgeable person around, nor am I the most supportive. I say things that, in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have said. I don't say things that I probably should have said. Still...I may be able to say just the right thing to the right person at the right time. I may be able to make a difference, however small, to someone.
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but the fact that people fight now and then doesn't really bother me all that much. Juxtaposed against the good that is done here, it truly doesn't mean squat. Let's just deal, patch things up, and move on.
As clusterheads, that's what we do all the time, anyway.
Sorry this is so long--but in my long-winded fashion, it's the shortest way I could think to say what I wanted to say.
All the best,
George
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