I am not sure how I feel about all this.

These complaints have been brought up before by others (and myself) dozend of times , but have fallen upon deaf ears or have been rebutted by "its just the way it is", and "people need to be able to handle themselves".

I suggested a "self-fulling" solution as recently as less than a month ago and heard those same things and more.

And this has nothing to do with Helen or her complaint, who knows I am very fond of her. I actually agree with her 100%.

But it does illustrate what I think is the underlying problem - there are different classes of people here that is decided based on nothing more than personal judgments and agendas. The "right" person says something and it is "oohhed" and "ahhed" over while it may have been something others have said and they expericed the opposite effect.

It is the Mob Mentality that kills this place. The hypocracy is so blatent at times it is staggering. Basically, if you get to be in the "in" crowd, you can behave like a troll as much as you want and you will get a blind eye from CH.com and the support from the other long-time posters here. The same things will be expressed from a lesser-time poster here some time later on and they will be chastised by that same group that supported the long time poster's same exact thoughts a few months back. I tried it to see and it is true I am sorry to say.

So now, there will be a group of long-time posters who will actually have control over what goes on? I guess I will put on my lip gloss and start looking for exposed rear-ends. This is not a judgment of whoever will be chosen as individuals, but as a collective group; the favortism and gossip here has always been rampant and in my opinon there are some long-time posters here whose behavior has had much more long term toxic than any troll we have faced.

I have seen users told the go kill themselves and I have been falsly accused as a pediphile on here in the past by users who were here a lot longer than I. I judge these to be serious situations that while are easy to deal with on-line in our little world of make-believe, those situations could have had drastic real-world consequesnces. If social services would have read was was falsely posted about me (anyone who knows an inch about me would know 100% better) and came and took my children I would have not wanted to be in their shoes, in the real world. Yes, that is a threat.

I also have actually been told, directly, that I have not been here long enough to have a valid opinon, and I need to know my place before I enter any posts.

This may sound harsh, but it is just my thoughts. I am not writing in anger or any such negative state. I just think that until the underlying issues that keep coming back to haunt this site are addressed nothing will change. In fact, depending on some small choices of a small few, this could only make the situation worse.

That being said, I will remain optimistic and continue to try to post at least one positive thing for evey negative one I post.

Glad you made the decision for global moderators DJ. The people you chose will do well, each of them have proven to be level headed and fair-minded. They certainly will have their work cut out for them.

At any rate... if people would just treat each other with the same respect they would use to treat their beloved mother or grandmother.. the global moderators jobs should be fairly easy.

Keep up the good work folks.

with warm regards,
Tony

  Thanks DJ, you've always been a class act. Maybe things have just reached a critical mass of some kind, and this needs to be done. As always you have my support.
  As the Stoned Ranger said to his faithful companion Pronto in the great Tome "Life on the Edge of Traction" " Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. All the rest is merely commentary." Don't know if that has anything to do with this. But it sounds good.

Please be well

Mat wrote on Nov 24^th, 2008 at 10:39am:

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

Just kidding!  
How's it going Mat?  Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

I'm a chronic cluster headache sufferer.
I guess now I'm "pain-free challenged" [got to keep it PC ya know].



Good to hear Mat, hang in there.

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

These days there are added stressors with the economy and heated and important election.  There does seem to be elevated angst here amongst the family.  Times are tough.  Most of us react without even knowing we are over the top stressed out and say things that would be out of character.
Last week I found my shoulders somewhere up around my ears and my heart paplitating and real anxiety taking over.  My help came in the form of talking it out and not stuffing all my concern and the precieved lack of control that I have over my life.  (oh, and Jeff mixed me a good stiff drink:)
Breath, fix the things we can and have faith that the rest will work out.

Love you all,
Kimberly and Jeff

Quote:


Not everyone is as solid as you are Tom. It's not about you and it's not about me. It's about the new people that have been coming on here lately and have been slammed for one reason or another and then disappeared, never to be heard of again.

Isn't the main priority of this board to help new people coming in, holding on to their last string of sanity and we step in and try to help?

I have been here for 10years myself. And I agree that this is nothing that hadn't happened before, but before,  DJ took down the site for a few days and I hated that. Who knows who was searching while we were down.

The only thing that has changed is that he has asked for help in this matter. We only will lock a thread when it gets to that point and nothing else. Hopefully it will never happen.

I think that is better than shutting it down again, don't you?

Jimi wrote on Nov 24^th, 2008 at 3:29pm:


Jimi-

I respect you and many, many folks here on the board but humbly disagree. Why not ban those who are the abusive ones instead of taking away from everyone? That's like taking away TV from all of your children because one of your teenagers cursed at you.

I also know this is not about you and me. It's about the board and how to control it.

Edit to add: I realize this is DJ's place and what he say is what goes. I also understand what is done is done. I just wanted to voice my opinion in civil manner.
Thank you for listening.
TomM

What Margi said....

Hugs BD

superhawk2300 wrote on Nov 23^rd, 2008 at 7:55pm:



I find myself agreeing with a lot of what you think although I also think something had to be done- just not sure what!

Speaking as an outsider who has also been wrongly and publicy accused by long term ch.com members of being everything from a "ch wannabee", to a troll to an alcoholic , this is a risk I see too with a group of moderators.

All forums develop "in crowds" and private languages and it isolates other people and scares new people which is definitely a problem here as many are pointing out.

Could the moderators be extra aware of this and perhaps not have too many public conversations with each other that other members who are not part of the "group" or are new cannot understand or join in with?

Probably only a perception thing, but online, perception is almost all anyone has.

W the B

TomM wrote on Nov 24^th, 2008 at 3:04pm:

Disagreement noted.

I have given this board more than 10 years of my life.  Some years I've spent here more than others.  That's probably part of the "problem" that others have mentioned.  I haven't looked over the board the last few years as closely as I did for a long time and it affected the atmosphere here.  The board has been left to police itself and it didn't work (for the most part).  For that, I apologize.

I am going to take time to raise my family.  To be the best husband I can for my wife... the best father for my children.  I've just asked some of our friends to look after the place since I can't be here all the time and I don't understand why some of you can't grasp the concept. 

Holy shit, none of the moderators have even touched a post yet and you refer to the position as if they are taking over complete control of the entire board.  Are you friggin' kidding me?  All they can do is lock threads and notify me so I can deal with it.

I would think you would all be grateful that there will be more responsible around to keep people from telling other people to go kill themselves.  To keep people from calling other people pediphiles.  Well, not to keep people from doing those things, but at least it should deter it from happening... and if it does, a moderator can lock the thread immediately and notifying someone who can do something more about it.

At least that sends a message to everyone on the board that this place RESPECTS itself as a community and RESPECTS the people that choose to spend some of their time here.

Moderators aren't going to ban anyone, they don't have the ability.  They aren't going to lock someone's thread because they typed a cuss word.  They aren't going to lock a thread because there is a heated discussion going on... as long as that heated discussion is respectful.  Anyone and everyone can respectfully agree to disagree.  Spit in someone's face and we'll have problems.

DJ

That's why DJ’s the man! He’s got the little one to deal with (remember what that’s like ya all?) and this is the effect of his wasted time dealing with someone else’s kids that are fine when they stop by, but he wouldn’t want us all living with him 24/7.

Nuff said?