Here's John's recipe for a perfect turkey:

POPCORN.............Turkey Stuffing Recipe .....ACTUALLY MADE WITH POPCORN

Here is  a turkey recipe that also includes the use of  POPCORN as a
stuffing --  imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it
was perfect for  people like me, who just are not sure how to tell
when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn  (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)


Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the
oven door open and the bird flies across the room,  it's done.

 

My ex's mother used to cook by ear - when the smoke alarm went off dinner was done... I kid you not!

She used to have a little chicken and a big chicken and when the little chicken set off the smoke detector the big chicken was cooked!

I've never known anyone who was such a truly dreadful cook as she is!