Linda, I'm sure it's just him venting - rather, fantasizing in a weird, dark way - during an attack. I may have written it incorrectly - he didn't go get pliers and a razor blade. He was "merely" speculating about it. I didn't have to stop him from doing anything. But when he gets a string of really bad days, the ideas pop out, and it gets tough. So I needed to vent. But I'm not feeling like he's done anything that would need "a little visit."
And the tooth pull was a few years before we knew he had clusters and it wasn't during an attack. The dentist refused to pull his tooth and he was convinced the pain that he was sometimes getting had to due with the tooth.
Quote:I really think if Gary participated here himself it would help him. Supporters rock and are essential, however direct contact with others that go through this would be helpful for him to cope. I dont just think this I know this for a fact. I wish Gary all the breaks he can get. Stay with it.
all the best
the bb
I'm quite sure it would, and I know you're right. But my pushing won't help. When he's ready, he'll come. I'm just happy that he's been lurking! In fact, he registered recently (DeathsHead). I know someone PMd him and I think he wrote back.
I'm SURE my writing about stuff like this makes him uncomfortable - especially if he's around and reads it. But I also know he understands that even if he doesn't feel a need to share with others who understand what he's going through (yet), I do.
He was in the army many years, and apart from his insanely stoic "I need to be a man about this" there is an actual complication, and that is the problem that the computer screen can send him spinning.
You do see how much time he spends in attack - it's crazy. Inbetween attacks he's at a high level of shadowing pain. ...and the computer is our tool for work. It's tough enough for him to keep up on the markets, news around the world and get morning notes together. I really don't know what we'd/he'd be doing if we weren't partners in biz, because I help get things together, do the editing and publishing. There are plenty of times I read out loud the stuff he'd be looking up and I write up what he wants to say.
The other aspect of our work is talking on the phone. Just getting notes together and out can take it out of him, and talking to customers and pretending he's not in pain is very draining. From that perspective, Paul's right. It's a really tough road to hoe with nothing to help or stop the pain.
So of course he'd benefit from talking to, sharing with, and interacting with other clusterheads. He knows I really want him to. But I also understand that when he's not cross-eyed with pain, he may not want to be on the computer or the phone. And he is just not a "reach out" kind of guy when it comes to his needs. Intellectually, he knows interacting will benefit him. Emotionally, he's still trying to be a soldier about it.
He's taken a couple of steps toward interacting, and I'm glad for that. He's slowly making his way here.
But if you PM him, when he logs on again he'll probably write back.
Laurie