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New Year Lament ... (Read 829 times)

ClusterChuck

CH.com Alumnus

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The BEAST rises again,
and again, and again,
and .

Posts: 5394
Greenville, North Carolina
Gender: male

New Year Lament ...
Dec 30^th, 2008 at 5:42pm

'Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Happy (?) New year to all !!! LOL!

Porky Chuck

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BarbaraD CH.com Alumnus Offline Hugs to ya Posts: 8333 Douglasville, TX Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #1 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 12:06am Only you Chuckles..... LMAO -- And so true.... Hugs BD
Back to top	What don't kill ya, Makes ya stronger! IP Logged

MidgetNMinx CH.com Junior Offline My love is stronger then his beast! Posts: 39 Grants Pass, OR Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #2 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 12:12am Bless you Chuck! I needed that good of a laugh
Back to top	There is no such thing as I know enough! IP Logged

Melissa CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't give up! Posts: 7238 Central WI, USA Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #3 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 7:45am Oh God that is soooooooooo me.
Back to top	Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel IP Logged

cash5542 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1243 x1\|Ocean Pines\|USA\|usa\|498\|141\|MD,Maryland Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #4 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 10:06am That was great! That's a work pass around one when I get back Charlotte (who needs to get her butt off the couch and go swim some laps! Thanks for the motivation)
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sandie99 CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain! Posts: 11975 Finland Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #5 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 10:11am That was funny. Thank you, Chuck. Now what was my aunt's email addy again... Sanna
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Charlie CH.com Alumnus Offline Happy to be here Posts: 18971 Jamestown, NY Gender:	Re: New Year Lament ... Reply #6 - Dec 31^st, 2008 at 11:46am Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to or Thanks Chuck. Chortle, chortle Chuck Charlie
Back to top	There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill IP Logged

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