I'm reminded of the scene in "Flatliners" where Kevin Bacon visits a woman that he tormented, when they both were kids. When he first makes his apology, she says in a rather hard tone, "That was a long time ago, and I haven't been that little girl in quite some time!"

His apology rebuffed, he kind of stammers a little, but then says, "Well... However we made you feel back then, I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

And then things shift and she softens and forgives him, and things end on a good note.

Sometimes, when people rebuff an apology, it's because they are masking their own hurt, and pretending like they are above it all.

The important thing, is that you have cleared the slate from your end, Melissa. You gave her the gift of your apology. What she chooses to do with it is up to her. Life doesn't often give second chances, so when you generously gave her the opportunity to wrap up unfinished business from her past, it's surprising that she chose to run from it.

That's entirely up to her and has nothing to do with you. If you dwell on it, you keep things going and it will continue to haunt you.

You've apologized. Time to lay down that burden.

There was an elderly Buddhist monk and his younger cohort walking, one day. They came to a river where there was a beautiful woman who was standing on the bank and distressed about how to cross. The elderly monk picked up the lass, carried her across, and then set her down.

They continued walking, and the young monk inquired as to whether the elderly monk had violated his vows of chastity by carrying the woman. The elderly monk said, "When I got to the other side of the river, I set her down. It sounds like YOU are still carrying her."

Melly, The context really didnt matter at all........and the 'victim" is of no consequence either.......it's about living YOUR life being the best person YOU can be.....and that's what you did!

I'm proud of the woman you are, and if you were 20 yrs younger, I'd be proud to call you my daughter! (okay, a little tongue in cheek)...

Cathi