We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

When the taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave  the house.The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get
the cat.The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to
know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she
explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took
so long," I said, as we drove away. That stupid girl thingy
was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat
hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I
grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a
blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I
hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the
back yard!  "The cab driver hit several parked cars.