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Feeling more out of the loop... (Read 930 times)

Melissa

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Feeling more out of the loop...
Mar 8^th, 2009 at 1:58pm

I swear after every cycle I end up having a more distant relationship with Jesse's relatives. Fortunately I feel more comfortable now around his brothers (they don't make me feel like I'm being judged), but when it comes to his Aunts, Uncles and Cousins, it feels like the closeness we once had is gone. I don't know if it was a gradual progression or what, but the snubbing and distance is really too much.

I feel like I'm in mourning. Embarrassed

*sigh*

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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Mosaicwench CH.com Sponsor Offline www.mosaicwench.com Posts: 3507 Near Milwaukee WI, USA Gender:	Re: Feeling more out of the loop... Reply #1 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 2:31pm Do they witness your cycles and say snarky things? Or is it that after a cycle you are less likely to suffer fools gladly? What specifically leads you to believe they are snubbing you and creating distance?
Back to top	« Last Edit: Mar 8^th, 2009 at 2:57pm by Mosaicwench » “Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” ~Flaubert IP Logged

Brew

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Re: Feeling more out of the loop...
Reply #2 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 2:32pm

That's unfortunate, Mel. But it got me to thinking. Could it be that the two events (cycle and emotional distance from relatives):

a) are merely conincidental, or

b) have a cause and effect, namely the cycle causes the sufferer to withdraw from normal social activity and that withdrawal is misinterpreted by others (here, Jesse's family) as a "snubbing," if you will?

They could feel as though you're dissing them by not being around, when all you were doing was dealing with your pain, and it wasn't directed at them at all.

"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so." --Ayn Rand

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Melissa

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Don't give up!

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Re: Feeling more out of the loop...
Reply #3 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 2:48pm

Naw, it started at the beginning of summer last year. Jesse's Aunt & Uncle started hanging with his cousin & his wife, as well as his friend & his wife. We had a falling out with his friend and his wife over their home they sold to his brother that had problems. We patched things up, but it seems we were at fault for something we didn't even have a part in.

Anyway, I think Pat is right with the latter. I think I'm finally coming to terms that things will never go back to the way they were.

As for the snubbing, when I said hello to Jesse's cousin at a banquet a week ago, all I got was "hi" with a nod of the head, and that was it. Nothing else the whole time we were there.

Whatever, maybe it's me, who knows, but what I do know is that I am a loyal, caring and forgiving friend who does not hold a grudge. It's their loss...

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: Feeling more out of the loop... Reply #4 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 3:01pm You said "WE" had a falling out..." Maybe it has nothing to do with you just you, and Jesse should speak to HIS relatives and get it out in the open.
Back to top	« Last Edit: Mar 8^th, 2009 at 3:36pm by Linda_Howell » Hurt people.....hurt people. Think about it. IP Logged

Melissa

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Don't give up!

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Re: Feeling more out of the loop...
Reply #5 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 3:31pm

You know what's funny Linda? I did that already and was told that I did nothing wrong! Jesse says part of it is because his cousin doesn't have any work (he's a mason) and is laid off. I gotta stop with the thinking it's always something that "I" did or didn't do that is causing the negative vibes. I gotta keep reminding myself that there are other reasons out there that are causes!!

Oh well. I'm just going to be happy to others no matter what they do to me from now on, because I am OVERJOYED at my cycle being done and I'm NOT going to let this shit get me down anymore!!!

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: Feeling more out of the loop... Reply #6 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 3:38pm I told ya that you hadn't gone chronic, didn't I? Now go, and be happy.
Back to top	Hurt people.....hurt people. Think about it. IP Logged

Kevin_M CH.com Sponsor Offline withered branches grow green again. Posts: 8754 Michigan, USA Gender:	Re: Feeling more out of the loop... Reply #7 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 4:30pm Quote: I feel like I'm in mourning. i reed yur post,, Melly. When i woken it seEm lik moreNing too butt tHe clocks muveD. iT,s afturnoOon. raainy hEre, i hav hoT chOklit i/m sippIng. We kAn bee frends aNd wauch thE rain owTsiDe. nO mUddy cycling tuday. I lernd a haPpy dance foR yu! sKippy
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Melissa

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Don't give up!

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Central WI, USA
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Re: Feeling more out of the loop...
Reply #8 - Mar 8^th, 2009 at 4:42pm

Kevin_M wrote on Mar 8^th, 2009 at 4:30pm:

Quote:

I feel like I'm in mourning.

i reed yur post,, Melly. When i woken it seEm lik moreNing too butt tHe clocks muveD. iT,s afturnoOon. raainy hEre, i hav hoT chOklit i/m sippIng.

We kAn bee frends aNd wauch thE rain owTsiDe. nO mUddy cycling tuday. I lernd a haPpy dance foR yu!

sKippy

omg

sKippy, you just lit up my life more!

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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