I suspect that you missed the point of why those questions were asked.

If I missed a point, please tell me what it is.

As I understand the "point" is to treat everyone, including newbies, those who haven't yet been diagnosed but are searching ,those who have suffered for years but are not finding relief from their pain, those who might even be a troll, with nothing more than a just a little bit of respect.

Do you have a problem with this, because I don't.

If I missed the "point" of questions asked, please enlighten me.

Sandy

Sandy:  One post asked why a certain poster was locked for a comment that the questioning poster had deemed just as insulting as other posts being made that did not result in a lock.  This is a fair question for clarification purposes.  I think the question was because the infraction was borderline in that posters mind and might have wanted to be clear on the exact rules for future posting.

Just how I read it.

Sandy_C wrote on Mar 11^th, 2009 at 3:26pm:


Sandy,

All of us know about the rules, they are posted very clearly and prominently in the top section of every board.  They have been discussed many times in several threads also.

When a person becomes an Ex-member, some people simply wonder what happened.

Did they get angry or frustrated over something that I/we said?  Were they booted out for repeated bad conduct?  Based on the close contact and sharing that occurs in this board, I don’t feel that the question is out of line. Nor do I feel that it indicates having a problem with the rules.

Sometime the point of a question is just to get an answer.

Marc

I just don't get why some make this a such a big secret.  I am not surprised Jonny is gone; I was actually wondering how long it would be, not so long ago.  Polly Pocket on lock down is different; she seems to be pleasant in all her posts.  I had to look...The only thing I could find is boxers/butt hole.  It looked like she let Brew push her button to me, it did not look that bad.  There must be more to it than that?

It does not piss me off, as some have stated, it just comes across as silly to me when mods jump in and direct people to PM DJ like it is taboo to discuss it openly.  Why do people have to jump through all the hoops to understand the ins and outs of DJ's new standard of conduct.  Does it have to be such a game...  I do not get why everybody gets their panties in a bunch when it comes to discussing how someone may or may not have crossed the lines of decency.  

Looking at the how the other thread ended I wonder if maybe some of these people should not just go back to being mean again.  They are starting to lose their minds with all the senseless blather.  I have seen kindergartners behave more mature on the playground.  

It is like this, I am not here all the time, like some.  I will come and go as I please, looking for the new and latest way to deal with my CH.  I might even offer advice to newbies now and again.  If DJ is trying to make this a friendlier atmosphere that is great...  But, does everyone really have to secretly PM DJ every time someone has a question like this?  Does DJ have the time to play twenty questions all the time?  It seems really silly to have to do this.  Instead of mods typing nonsense on a thread, why don't they grow up, and send their own PMs to get things under control instead of escalating things?  I mean you are moderaters, right?  You can do things on your own.  DJ trust you enough to be mods, then be mods...

Thomas    

The rest of the world defines moderator differently.  Your title might be misleading if this is the case.  When reciting lyrics to children's songs is your solution to trying to calm the situation, maybe you should be called "hall monitors."  But then again, if all you are allowed to do is lock threads...It should be revisited.

Moderator

The moderators (short singular form: "mod") are users (or employees) of the forum which are granted access to the posts and threads of all members for the purpose of moderating discussion (similar to arbitration) and also keeping the forum clean (neutralising spam and spambots etc). Because they have access to all posts and threads in their area of responsibility, it is common for a knowledgeable and trustworthy member to be promoted to moderator for such a task. Moderators also answer users' concerns about the forum, general questions, as well as responding to specific complaints.[17] Moderators themselves may have ranks: some may be given mod privilege over only a particular topic or section, while others (called 'global' or 'super') may be allowed access anywhere. Common privileges of moderators include: deleting, merging, moving, and splitting of posts and threads; closing, renaming, stickying of threads; banning, unbanning, warning the members; or adding, editing, removing the polls of threads.[18]

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

Let me add to this as well Thomas....

as much as we love to play Twenty Questions with everyone here, quite frankly it's really no ones damn business if someone leaves on our terms.  We don't air out people's dirty laundry.  DJ has told the Moderators that if people are so inquisitive to ask WTF is going on, then we feel that information should come from the people that hit the "delete" button.  Now, if they choose to leave on their own, that's one thing, most will broadcast it for the world to see as to why they hate this place or why they need to step away for awhile, not a big deal.

The Moderators know what they have been asked to do, and they do "moderate" like they are supposed to.  They are trusted with being able to make the decison to lock down a thread when they feel it crosses the line, this, Thomas, is what they were "hired" to do.  They aren't "hired" to keep the peace around here, people should be responsible enough to control their statements as to not offend, and choose to play nice in the sandbox.  It's that simple. 

It's not taboo to talk about it, but like I said, when it comes down to a decision from DJ or myself to delete someone's profile, we feel that if you have questions concerning it, why not go to the source, which is us?

I would like to add a thought to this thread as well.  There is nothing done 'secretly';  if, as moderators, we advise people to PM DJ, then it's because that is what we were instructed to do BY DJ.  Case in point, is with Pollypocket, what happened there, happened between her and DJ privately, and we are not privy to the details of the information.  What the mods know is that Jen and DJ had communications, and DJ and her agreed that a locked profile a few days was an appropriate action;  beyond that, we can't answer anything else.

Additionally, as the purpose of the general guidelines, and having moderators to begin with - Steph and DJ are trying to return the atmosphere of ch.com to a place where anyone can come in and ask questions without fear of being attacked.  The site had been in a steady degradation and it needed to stop the downward spiral and get back to being a place of safety and support.  

The very nature of the friendships and relationships that form bonds on ch.com comes from a very unique set of circumstances, that in truth, can only be recognized and understood by other sufferers and supporters.  That atmosphere requires a certain level of trust, since most of us wouldn't dream of talking about our affliction, and certainly not displaying it, with people in our lives that don't suffer - they simply can't understand the way another sufferer or supporter can.  To maintain those very precious and valuable bonds, it is reasonable to strive to provide an atmosphere that has respect, integrity and trust at it's core.

In the past, when things got out of hand, DJ has pulled the plug on the site, removing it from access for a period of time.  I fear that if things were to continue in a negative spiral, the plug won't get pulled for a time, it will get pulled permanently;  and we will have no say in it whatsoever, since DJ and Steph own the site and have the right and the choice to handle it as they see fit.  With DJ about to retire from the Air Force in a very uncertain economy, I would imagine he has no desire to add further stress to his life with concerns on paying for the board and it's upkeep (remember, every time we have an added feature on the board, DJ has to pay to have the YaBB owners code a special script) for the purpose of people to sit around and bad mouth or attack each other.  

My opinion then, and it is just that, is that if the forum can't operate under the guidelines he's set forth, then we all stand the very real possibility to lose the forum permanently.  Personally, when I think about the ramifications of that event, I will do anything I can to ensure I act within the guidelines as well as to help ensure the site does as well, based on the criteria DJ set out for the mods.  While we will never all agree on any action that occurs, DJ has final say on if he wants a particular tone, type of thread or anything else, and he isn't required to give us any information at all.  It's out of common courtesy and respect for the members that he tries to keep everyone informed.  I would hate to lose this place because there are a few who don't like the rules.  Those few who can't or won't understand or accept the guidelines, could threaten the entire forum for the rest who do adhere to the guidelines.

Now, before I find out I inadvertently upset or offended someone, please know this post is not intended to be directed at or single out any specific person.  It is a general response to the information.

Cat

Sandy_C wrote on Mar 11^th, 2009 at 3:06pm:


Excommunication?  There is a chance reading this stuff and it's hurting him,  just quit.  Ever notice he has posted here like a million years and poured his heart and soul into this 'family'.   Realize that boundaries and putting on the breaks aren't as easy for every person.    Yes I know what happened and it was really bad.  But if you take to heart stuff he does after knowing what he is like all these years,  you are crazy.   Censure has taken place, but this kind of talk is just cruel.

Quote:

It's not as difficult as you are making it out to be Thomas.  It's actually very simple.  All we're looking for here is a little respect.

It would be incredibly stupid of me to try and list every single word, phrase, or statement that I will allow or not allow, which it sounds like you are asking me to do.  Be respectful, that's it.

You don't know that whole story on what happened with the Polly situation.  There was more to it and that's all anyone else needs to know.  She and I talked worked it out and all is good.

Believe it or not, I'm not out to "lock" everyone, it sucks to have to do that.  But I'll be damned if this place turns back into the free-for-all it once was and I'll do everything in my power to ensure that doesn't happen.



DJ

Short and to the point . Would you ask a total stranger how much money he makes?   It's not anyones business how much money DJ makes or loses on Clusterheadaches.com. 
  As far as dirty laundry and what was said by someone that got them locked or banned that ain't our business either.

        Kinder gentler Potter

Tommy,
     You have been  "asking" for clarification every few weeks for the last 3 months or just complaining or whining. I think you are just here to stir the pot. If not, and this is truly your personality, you have more problems than clusterheadaches.

As Potter says..................short and to the point..........quit whining, it doesn't become you.