I am DEBORAH C's Fiance

I would first like to Thank the comopassionate people for their understanding and helping my fiance with this terrible disease.
She has found great comfort in discussing her pain with the cluster headaches. To the kind people Thank you again.

I have tried to be compassionate and usnderstanding myself, but it is difficult if not impossible to image her pain.

To the few people who have doubted her and called her "not being on the up and up" or "a liar" I am appaulled.  How dare you judge something or someone you know nothing about. She came in here in GOOD FAITH just to express herself.

She HAS been cheated out of her child support by the father of her child. He in 15 years has NEVER paid a dime. Working 2 & 3 jobs for her survival, She went to court to get judgement and was denied because he ran a scam with his boss and collected the money HE says he has paid. The story is too long to convey to you in this posting.

So to the people such as Artonio the Ignorant , the "kind?"Potter (I think you should change your handle) and to the advocate ( which no one asked for your help just a friendly ear) you three should really consider leaving the site. People are here for comfort and understanding not Judgement. HOW DARE YOU! If you have nothing nice to say than say then say nothing at all. (I would have thought your mother would have told you that.) By not understanding something/someone and making nasty comments you show your ignorance and your true self. You don't have to fully understand something that in fact is none of your business, to give a person comfort , support, compassion, ect. You are truly sad individuals and have missed the point of this group. She found great comfort and respect from the members here.  Now she feels she has been betrayed by the very same people who share her affliction.

Again to the truly kind people I apologize for this tone .
We all suffer in this affliction and should support LOVE and respect ALL the members feeling at ALL times

I understand that you are upset, but I'll simply suggest that it might be more effective to take issue with individual posters offline. 

I see nothing good that comes from firing a broadside to the community at large.  It's not the community you have an issue with. 

That being said, I'll stand aside and watch this thread devolve into its inevitable death spiral.

Best,

George

Damn all, Tony being called ignorant, and not being compassionate in one post. You definetely don't have a grasp of the situation son. Become a little better informed before you go throwing a tantrum like a three year old and calling names.

DEBCsfiance wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2009 at 11:26pm:

You succinctly detailed exactly what everyone was asking.  
- She lost the court case.
- The employer was involved in the fraud with the ex.

For whatever reason she found it beyond her abilities to key those words.

One could also extrapolate...
- Her case against her ex should have been denied.  Her ex paid.  The boss appears to be the fraudulent party.  She can pursue that on both criminal and civil fronts.
- Her lawyer sucks.  Her attorney should have known all this prior to the court date through interrogatories.  
- Actually, she mentioned that after the fact she was consulting an attorney.  So after 15 years of inaction she decided to represent herself armed with the skills she learned watching Judge Judy.  

With how she went off on some of the more respected folks on the board, I must admit to a bit of schadenfreude this morning.

Good luck with your pending marriage.  She is a winner.  

Jimi wrote on Mar 24^th, 2009 at 10:22am:


  I would assume it's directed at the guilty party.

                kinder gentler Potter

DEBCsfiance wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2009 at 11:26pm:



This was exactly what I suggested to her but she completely ignored it.


Quote:



I have worked with people struggling with child support issues for many years and not once did I come across a person who faithfully paid for 15 years without demanding some form of contact with the children.

When you ask for help and support here, many people with experience will try to help you solve the problem, not just listening to you venting. To be able to effectively help with any problem, we must first need to understand what it is. All the questions asked in that thread were aimed at better understanding the problem.

If you dont need practical help, and just want to vent, then there is no need to recount the story. You could just said " I am having some major issue with my ex, please send some vibes or please send some hugs ". That way, she would have received the support she was looking for without having to explain herself or the situation in any details.

I hope both of you can take a step back and see that most of us here were genuinely concerned and wanted to help and no one deserved to be called those names by you.

Thank you for reading this and best of luck getting back the money.

DEBCsfiance wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2009 at 11:26pm:


When it comes to our shared "affliction", no doubt she'll get 100% unwavering comfort, support and compassion.

But on things that are "none of your business"....well, she put it out there, and can't expect that everyone here will jump on her bandwagon and be a group of child support supporters. We aren't. We're clusterheads and supporters.  Can't get a two-fer out of one support group.

That said,  child support laws suck. If you're right, keep fighting. If you're wrong, let it go.   But really, if you don't want differing opinions on the subject, then keep it your own business and then you won't be stressing about the responses you got.