... my father passed away.

I recall very lively that early morning phone call from the hospital.

I recall my mother's hopeless tears... She didn't need to tell me what had happened; I knew as soon as the phone rang.

I recall my broken heart, my empty mind, that fog which I lived in for a such a long, long time. And still, at times, even after all this time, the pain and sadness get to me.

When I lost dad, I lost so much with him.

But this year... It's been easier. It's been a cold, but sunny day and I spend six hours at work, being too busy to take a breath, nevermind recalling the actual date. Time goes on, I suppose.

Mom and I visited dad's grave not that long ago. We would have gone there today as well had I had a day off. But this evening we will lit candles and a torch to remember him by. Dad was a great dad and a great, kind, loyal, honest and funny man and human being.

Sanna

i've often thought when i see my friends and family member die that the lord loved them so much the he had to bring them home. sanna i know we're not real close but i can tell from your posts that your are a kind compassionate beautiful human being. i'm sure your father ganders down at the earth with a gleam in is eye knowing that raised such an extraordinary  girl. i'm sure his values and convictions live on through you. that all you can hope for when you die, that you have good children to carry on.

Carol

I am praying for you and your family Sandi!!

The loss of a parent is one of the hardest things in life to endure, but he helps make you the strong person you are!

Many Blessings

Tess

All the best, Sanna.

George

Thank you all for your kind words.

-johnny- wrote on Apr 18^th, 2009 at 3:16pm:


That is beautiful way to look at it! Thank you.
When I really miss dad, I try to think that "ok, it was his time to go, he had finished everything he was meant to do here on Earth". But still, I kind of miss having him here in flesh and blood instead of just memories and fading photographs!

Mel,
I believe that the day dad died hits me harder is because my birthday and dad's dying day are only few days apart, and back in 1997, my birthday was Monday whereas dad passed away on the early hours on Friday. Mom said that she feared at the time that dad would die on my birthday, because she knew that it would have made my sorrow unbearable. We knew at the time that dad was getting weaker and it would be just the matter of time when his battle against cancer would be lost... but I am thankful that dad didn't die on April 14th.
But still, each year since, on my birthday, there is still that hint of sadness, which comes from knowing that one sad day is approaching.

Sanna

Barry, I know exactly what you mean...

Sanna

Sanna,
I read your statement. The outpouring of love, the huge loss you feel- I, too, have lost my parents.  Sometimes, I can handle the loss, somtimes it fills me with loneliness. I simply move in and out of it, letting myself feel.

What struck me, though, is your way of expressing your feelings! Again, in such simple but eloquent words, you have spoken for many of us. There is no language barrier, Sanna, and your words should be published.

I'm sending you a big hug, and encouragement to continue writing like this..........
Cathi