Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register
Clusterheadaches.com
 
Search box updated Dec 3, 2011... Search ch.com with Google!
  HomeHelpSearchLoginRegisterEvent CalendarBirthday List  
 





Page Index Toggle Pages: 1
Send Topic Print
2012 presidential candidate (Read 1321 times)
Callico
CH.com Hall of Famer
*****
Offline


Author of "Stranded at
Romson's Lodge


Posts: 4916
Aurora IL
Gender: male
2012 presidential candidate
Apr 21st, 2009 at 11:10am
 


2012 Candidate For President

 




I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on   SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.


(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.  If you are convicted of rape ..... well, you get the picture!

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes


GOD BLESS AMERICA .


Bill Cosby



To bad it is just a joke.  I'd vote for him!

Jerry
Back to top
  

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of dung by the clean end." Texas A&M Student (unknown)
Jerry Callison  
IP Logged
 
Jeannie
CH.com Sponsor
***
Offline


Live, Laugh, Love....


Posts: 2333
St Louis, Missouri
Gender: female
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #1 - Apr 24th, 2009 at 9:35am
 
I'd vote for him too, Jerry.

Jeannie
Back to top
  

"It's all a grand illusion when you think you're in control." ~ Kenny Chesney
 
IP Logged
 
monty
CH.com Hall of Famer
*****
Offline




Posts: 1056
The Swamp, Florida
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #2 - Apr 24th, 2009 at 10:55am
 
Callico wrote on Apr 21st, 2009 at 11:10am:
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'


Let me see if I have this right ... If a US company is doing well exporting cars or tractors or computer software, they need to just stop for two years? Just lay off the people making those things and give up that income and market share, let people from other countries take their accounts? Meanwhile, these businesses need to keep paying the loans they took to develop their business, and may go bankrupt?  That is Brilliant - if you hate America and want to cripple our economy.

And US companies that import metals not found in the U.S. for computer chips and airplane parts and MRI machines are supposed to stop whatever they do until  'our attitude gets straightened out'?  How high do you reckon the price of gasoline will go when the supply gets cut in half? Ten dollars?  Twenty?  That would be delightful - I think the use of bicycles in America would quickly catch up to levels seen in Cuba. Think of how nice it would be to reduce the congestion on the roads, to see people out exercising on their way to work!!  And other people that used to be rushing around willy-nilly would have the chance to just sit at home, peacefully, in the dark.


One thing I like from that list is requiring people to say the Pledge of Allegiance.  Maybe if repeated enough, the idea that our nation is indivisible will sink in with the secessionists - I just saw a poll showing half of the Republicans in Texas think that breaking away from the US is a good idea.... obviously, it's not like people have sacrificed everything for their country, or that such sacrifice matters.


Back to top
« Last Edit: Apr 24th, 2009 at 10:56am by monty »  

The outer boundary of what we currently believe is feasible is far short of what we actually must do.
 
IP Logged
 
-johnny-
CH.com Sponsor
***
Offline


theres no smoking on the
dock


Posts: 1642
fayette county ohio
Gender: male
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #3 - Apr 26th, 2009 at 12:49am
 
monty wrote on Apr 24th, 2009 at 10:55am:
Let me see if I have this right ... If a US company is doing well exporting cars or tractors or computer software, they need to just stop for two years? Just lay off the people making those things and give up that income and market share, let people from other countries take their accounts? Meanwhile, these businesses need to keep paying the loans they took to develop their business, and may go bankrupt?  That is Brilliant - if you hate America and want to cripple our economy.

And US companies that import metals not found in the U.S. for computer chips and airplane parts and MRI machines are supposed to stop whatever they do until  'our attitude gets straightened out'?  How high do you reckon the price of gasoline will go when the supply gets cut in half? Ten dollars?  Twenty?  That would be delightful - I think the use of bicycles in America would quickly catch up to levels seen in Cuba. Think of how nice it would be to reduce the congestion on the roads, to see people out exercising on their way to work!!  And other people that used to be rushing around willy-nilly would have the chance to just sit at home, peacefully, in the dark.


One thing I like from that list is requiring people to say the Pledge of Allegiance.  Maybe if repeated enough, the idea that our nation is indivisible will sink in with the secessionists - I just saw a poll showing half of the Republicans in Texas think that breaking away from the US is a good idea.... obviously, it's not like people have sacrificed everything for their country, or that such sacrifice matters.



well its a start. its hard to export anything when you manufacture nothing. i hope gasoline does get up over $10 a gallon. then maybe the oil companies would loose some leverage in legislation and new fuels that have already been developed can be readily available.

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register

i think what calico is getting at with this post is that we need to clean out dc and rebuild from 0.

i don't think that we as a country should stop exporting or importing but most everything we consume is imported. even produce
Back to top
  

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register
 
IP Logged
 
Callico
CH.com Hall of Famer
*****
Offline


Author of "Stranded at
Romson's Lodge


Posts: 4916
Aurora IL
Gender: male
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #4 - Apr 26th, 2009 at 1:10am
 
Johnny,

Monty has such a predictable knee-jerk reaction that he cannot recognize satire when he sees it.    His response was expected.

Jerry
Back to top
  

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of dung by the clean end." Texas A&M Student (unknown)
Jerry Callison  
IP Logged
 
Brew
CH.com Sponsor
CH.com Alumnus
***
Offline




Posts: 14163
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #5 - Apr 26th, 2009 at 9:18am
 
Just checked this on snopes.com, and Bill Cosby denies having written it:

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register
Back to top
  

"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so."  --Ayn Rand
 
IP Logged
 
BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
***
Offline


Hugs to ya


Posts: 8333
Douglasville, TX
Gender: female
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #6 - Apr 27th, 2009 at 2:09pm
 
But it's still a good platform.... Smiley
Back to top
  

What don't kill ya, Makes ya stronger!
 
IP Logged
 
Brew
CH.com Sponsor
CH.com Alumnus
***
Offline




Posts: 14163
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #7 - Apr 27th, 2009 at 2:13pm
 
Perhaps, but it's not properly attributed. Smiley
Back to top
  

"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so."  --Ayn Rand
 
IP Logged
 
Kevin_M
CH.com Sponsor
***
Offline


withered branches grow
green again.


Posts: 8754
Michigan, USA
Gender: male
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #8 - Apr 27th, 2009 at 4:09pm
 
Brew wrote on Apr 27th, 2009 at 2:13pm:
Perhaps, but it's not properly attributed. Smiley


And the embellishment in these unfootnoted internet ruses leads into a tangle of weeds.

From the snopes link agreeable comments, the Cos' missed the humor.
Back to top
  
 
IP Logged
 
Callico
CH.com Hall of Famer
*****
Offline


Author of "Stranded at
Romson's Lodge


Posts: 4916
Aurora IL
Gender: male
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #9 - Apr 27th, 2009 at 6:11pm
 
Sorry, I didn't check it out before posting it.  Embarrassed  I almost always do, but got this one from a guy who also usually checks, so I didn't bother. 

I wasn't particularly concerned about it being the Cos.  I don't agree with all in the article, but most of it would be to my thinking.

Jerry
Back to top
  

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of dung by the clean end." Texas A&M Student (unknown)
Jerry Callison  
IP Logged
 
AussieBrian
CH.com Hall of Famer
*****
Offline


CH - It's all in your
head!


Posts: 3851
Cairns, Qld, Australia
Gender: male
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #10 - Apr 28th, 2009 at 6:37pm
 
Callico wrote on Apr 21st, 2009 at 11:10am:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

I've yet to hear an American speak English.
Back to top
  

My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com
 
IP Logged
 
deltadarlin
CH.com Alumnus
***
Offline


I love YaBB 1G - SP1!


Posts: 3823
Downsville LA
Gender: female
Re: 2012 presidential candidate
Reply #11 - Apr 28th, 2009 at 6:47pm
 
AussieBrian wrote on Apr 28th, 2009 at 6:37pm:
Callico wrote on Apr 21st, 2009 at 11:10am:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

I've yet to hear an American speak English.


Ain't that the truth  Grin.
Back to top
  

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register
 
IP Logged
 
Page Index Toggle Pages: 1
Send Topic Print

DISCLAIMER: All information contained on this web site is for informational purposes only.  It is in no way intended to be used as a replacement for professional medical treatment.   clusterheadaches.com makes no claims as to the scientific/clinical validity of the information on this site OR to that of the information linked to from this site.  All information taken from the internet should be discussed with a medical professional!