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memories (Read 1455 times)

Linda_Howell

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memories
May 10^th, 2009 at 9:27pm

Charlie got me to thinking. He has always stated that he had such happy memories and wonderful parents as he was growing up.

I know this day is almost over where we think about our Moms...BUT: what is a favorite memory you have of your Mom?

I was 5 or 6 living in Chicago in a third floor apartment. The basement was where my mom did the laundry. I still remember the smells of that basement. Soap, bleach mixed with basement smells. I got thirsty at one point and she lifted me up to a concrete sink and cupped her hands so I could get a drink. I remember the whole environment to this day...that taste of cold water, my moms hands...her smile...the perfume she had on.

O.K. who's next. Surely some of you have memories a lot more exotic than mine.

« Last Edit: May 10^th, 2009 at 9:29pm by Linda_Howell »

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Re: memories
Reply #1 - May 10^th, 2009 at 9:38pm

It's Mothers' day, so it should be about just Mom, but I never said I follow directions well.
Mine is so simple, but I can remember, vividly, how my parents could be sitting in the living room, reading the newspaper on Sunday Mornings. Even though they were in their "own chairs", not touching each other at all, the current that ran through them was noticeable. They were in love! I felt it then and I knew their love was complete and special to them. It is what I wanted from marriage.......and, know what? I got it!
Dad died 28 yrs ago. Mom died in '07, but, when Mom was dying, I told her, with laughter thru my tears......'Mom, you have to get going, Daddy's waiting for you". I honestly believe they have been reunited, coz they belonged together............and I'm sure others can feel their love even now.
Cathi

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ClusterChuck

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Re: memories
Reply #2 - May 10^th, 2009 at 10:01pm

GREAT topic, Linda! Especially for those of us who no longer have our Mother available to go and hug ... But I know she is up there watching me ... Oh wait ... do I REALLY want her watching what I did this weekend ... Errrr ... Ummmm ... Hmmmm ... Well I'll just leave that for the moment ...

My earliest memory of my Mother was when I must have been about 2 or 3 ... I am told, that I was too young to remember this, yet I can give exact details, and no one has ever spoken of it, except me, so I MUST remember. Anyhow, it was some sort of "formal" meal. My parents and all the grownups were sitting at the table, and I was at the traditional kids table. I had my plastic glass of milk. I looked over at the grownups' table, and saw that they all had these real pretty glasses, that I had never seen before. They were funny looking, as they were on this glass stick sort of thing, and then the drinking part was on top of this thin stick. (The typical stemware water glass, but to me, it was on a stick.)

I went over to my Mother, who was wearing a green dress with big flowers all over it, and a wide, dark green sash tied around her waist. She had on a pearl necklace (probably fakes, at that stage of my parents' financial state), and matching pearl earrings.

I asked Mommy if I could drink some of the drink that she had in her pretty glass. She pushed her chair back and helped me up onto her lap, and had her right hand and arm around me, holding me in place, and with her left hand got her water glass and brought it over for me to drink some of it. I took a hold of the "stick" part of it, and brought it to my mouth to drink, and swiftly, literally, took a bite out of the glass. No one ever told me that you could not bite down hard on a glass!

I remember everyone at the table screaming and causing a LOT of commotion, while I sat there looking around, with the chunk of glass, still firmly between my teeth.

I don't remember anything after that point.

<sigh>

She would have been 89, later this month ...

Chuck

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Linda_Howell

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Re: memories
Reply #3 - May 10^th, 2009 at 11:43pm

Cathi, Chuck ....those memories are exactly what I wa s hoping to hear. I knew that my memories aren't the only ones that were just of an everyday sort. Thank you.

At one of the conventions (Nashville, I think) I met up with DJ's Mom in the hall and we started talking. At some point I said to her..."have you got any idea of how much good has been done because of YOUR son?" I saw tears well up in her eyes...she said "I'm starting to realize it now Linda"

We/I'd, love to hear more about your Mom if anyone is willing to share.

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Re: memories
Reply #4 - May 11^th, 2009 at 12:06am

The thing most important to me about my mom is her unconditional love. Whe I was a kid my dad tried running a grocery store with a breakfast/ lunch bar in a small town that could not support it. When he went bankrupt we had to move into the store and live there for a while while he worked menial farm work. I NEVER heard her complain, even though it took years for them to pay back all of the creditors (even though the court had absolved the debt). I remember living in an old farmhouse that had only a register cut through the floor to pass heat from the downstairs to the bedrooms upstairs and water in a glass freezing on the dresser. She took it all in stride and believed in my dad, even when he didn't believe in himself and took it out on her. (Never physically!)

Mom taught me my faith in God, and I have seen her prayers answered so many more times than I could begin to tell you of. She used to teach me and my sister scripture verses while we did the dishes when I was in the second and third grades. I still remember them, and that has been at least 10 years ago.

She kept her sense of humor and could laugh at herself as well as someone else. One time she made pies that the crust was so tough you could hardly cut through it, and had to really chew to eat. There was no way we could throw those out. If we did there wouldn't have been anything sweet for a week, She and Dad went somewhere that night and left us kids at home. I took a hammer and chisel, a hacksaw, and a pair of pliers and put them on the table with a note saying that I had intended to rob the house, but after trying to eat her pie and breaking a tooth I decided it wasn't even worth trying to hold the kids for ransom. She laughed about that for years!

She is 76 now, and is suffering from Parkinsons, but still never complains. She is humped over badly and is starting to shuffle quite a bit when she walks, but she and dad recently took over the senior citizens group at the church they are attending after dad retired from his last church two years ago.

Mom is a wonderful lady, a great role model, and the finest person I know in the world.

Thanks for bringing this up. I think I'll print this out and send it to her. I know she knows how much I love her, but it will embarass her to no end to know I said so in public! Cheesy

Jerry

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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: memories Reply #5 - May 11^th, 2009 at 1:09am Quote: I think I'll print this out and send it to her. Oh, I surely hope you do Jerry. She sounds like one hell of a lady and I would be so excited to meet her someday. Jerry's Mom, if he prints this out I have only this to say to you.. You raised one heck of a good son. You have every reason to be proud. Linda
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ClusterChuck

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Re: memories
Reply #6 - May 11^th, 2009 at 1:53am

Just to add another story about my Mother ... I could not decide which one to tell you about, with my other post, but I decided to tell that one .. Now I HAVE to relate this story:

Move the calender up, about 22 years, to my wedding.

Now something about Mom, that you need to know. She was always a prim and proper New England Lady. NEVER off color. In all my years, I NEVER once heard her use a swear word. She would NEVER say anything off color, or so I thought.

Well, the actual wedding service was over, and we were walking out of the synagogue, to go to the reception. We were walking through the down pouring rice (YES, people threw rice, not bird seed or confetti, back then), and after we passed, my dear, sweet, innocent, and proper Mom, went over to a VERY good friend of mine, Sandy, and grabbed the front of his pants, pulled out on them, threw a handful of rice down there, and then patted just below his belt line, and told him: "Remember, Sandy, it's what's up front, that counts ..."

Who was this woman, that was dressed, and made up to look like Mom? I would have thought that Sandy was telling me a tall tale, yet I heard the same story from several other people, who were standing next to him.

There were times, when she seemed to revel in shocking us kids! Like the time she started a water fight, IN THE HOUSE, by spraying us kids with the spray hose, on the kitchen sink. Or the time that she went over to give Dad a hug (he did not have a shirt on, just his pants) and when she had her arms behind him, she broke a raw egg over his head, and another one, on his spine, just above his pant line. Or the beautiful cakes she would prepare, and decorate, (she was an EXCELLENT, artistic cake decorator) for some friend's birthday party, only for the "victim" to discover that the cake was made from ceiling tiles ... (she always had a second, exact replica, with REAL cake in it)

Ah, the memories ... Mom was a real class act!

Chuck

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jon019

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Re: memories
Reply #7 - May 11^th, 2009 at 2:00am

Ahhhhhh....Linder...great topic and wonderful memory. It reminded me that the best ones can be as simple as a moment in a laundry room.

Mother's Day is tough for me because she is gone...today, I reached for the phone to tell her what she meant to me. It's been several years since I forgot she wasn't there...today, for a second, I forgot....but then, she's not really gone...I have memories, LOTS of memories...

I described her in her obituary as a gentle soul with a good heart. Adults are not always good at discerning what lies in the soul. We think too much, I think. Not so with kids and animals...they perceive what is not obvious but SO obvious if you can think with the heart.

At gatherings, I would wait for the moment..it always came. Mom was nowhere near the life of the party, but she was the party of life. Surely and eventually I would look up and all the kids and/or animals would be surrounding her. It was magic, and I would look at my brother and we would wink at each other...

I was one lucky kid. Growing up there was never a time when I brought a slimy or scaly or creepy crawly or "ugly' animal or bug into the house where she wasn't as delighted as me. My favorite was frog eggs. Softball sized masses of jelly with tiny green pearls encased. Whatever it was, there was two choices. Either admire and appreciate and return from whence I found, OR, on occasion, I would be allowed to raise and nurture as long as I promised to "let 'em go" when they were ready. She would help build the nest or aquarium or whatever was needed. Great lesson that...an animal is to be loved and appreciated and allowed to be what they were. We never "owned" an animal, tho we were never without one or more...as family. To this day, my brother and I have an inordinate fascination with bugs...a unique one on the window or one found on a walk in the woods is cause for 20 minutes worth of abject admiration.

One particular memory does stand out...as it was when (14 yrs old) I realized that I was now considered an adult, expected to have feelings and thoughts and needs versus just childish wants. It was the occasion of my "Gramps" death. Mom's Father...and I was sitting on the deck trying to figure out how to comfort her. She came outside, sat down beside me (and as Linda in the laundry room, I can remember EVERYTHING...what I was wearing, the light breeze blowing through, her expression...everything) and asked ME what I was thinking. It was my first experience with death and I couldn't have had a better guide or teacher. She proceeded to skillfully lead me through memories and experiences and feelings and what comes next. We committed to supporting Nannie...and we mutally agreed that Gramps was in a better place with no more suffering. We hugged and cried...and I've never forgotten that conversation. I cannot claim to handle death any better than anyone else, but I do have an understanding that I would not have without her...

Miss ya Ma!

Thanks Linder,

Best,

Jon

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Callico

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Re: memories
Reply #8 - May 11^th, 2009 at 4:51pm

Chuck got me to thinking a bit more, and I'd like to share another story also.

Mom was a practical joker. Always in the background, and with her quiet ways and gentle spirit you would never know she was also a real competitor and just loved to "get" you when you least expected it.

When I was in college our church ladies would have a get together each semester and make care packages to send to all of us in college. It was usually a three pound coffee can filled with homemade cookies, (they wouldn't even think about something storebought!). One semester Mom got her hands on a couple of dozen spider rings that looked real. She made some of her trademark chocolate chip oatmeal cookies that were as large as the top of the can. After everybody else put their cookies in the cans she would place one of the spider rings on top and then put her cookie over it. Having spent 20 years growing up with her I didn't even bat an eye when I found it, but I had two cousins who picked up the top cookie and threw out the whole can! Grin

If she thought things were to quiet and dull she was sure to instigate something to get things going. She and Dad were Youth Group sponsors for years at church. For an activity one time she had a "come as you are" party, but she made sure to call the kids individually at inoportune times to catch them at their worst. THat party still gets talked about when some of those "kids" are back at home. That was almost 40 years ago now. She caught the one girl who NEVER was caught with her hair messed in her bathrobe and her hair in curlers. (She conspired with her mom for the right timing.) Another guy was a farmer, and she caught him just as he was done milking, and had been wading in the mud (and other stuff). Several others were caught in the same sort of predicaments.

If you ever get the chance to meet her you will swear I'm lying, but DON"T turn your back! Grin

Jerry

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Shawn

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Re: memories
Reply #9 - May 11^th, 2009 at 5:46pm

I'm trying hard to pick the best memory of my mother, but let's go with the day she sent (via Federal Express, which was a big deal in 1979) me my signed emancipation papers. That was the single nicest thing the woman ever did for me. I could have gone with the time she decided to get me totally high (at 12 years old, in front of her boss) by having me smoke pot from a water pipe. Or, I suppose I could go with any of the days/weeks where I could barely move from the various bruises that covered my body. Or I could talk about the bug-infested garages she would have me sleep in while my sister and her slept in the comfy house. Not that I'm bitter.

Sore subject.

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Re: memories
Reply #10 - May 11^th, 2009 at 6:03pm

Wow Shawn, I'm sorry that subject hit a nerve with you. Sadly some of the stories for Mothers Day are not happy ones. Yours in point.

Mine is sad, but in another sort.

Age 10 - my dad had been very sick with cancer - in the hospital straight for about 2 weeks. May 9, 1971 (Mothers Day) - and had not seen him since Easter Sunday.

Mom was not home when we woke up, which was typical, Mrs. Simms said she was at the hospital. Family friends picked up my brother, sister and me for Mass. We walked in one door of the church, my mom and Grandpa came in the other day. Mom had her sunglasses on. Not normal for her to walk into church like that.

Mom told us that daddy was now in heaven with the angels.

So for me, mothers day is a sad memory of what my mom went through, and of loss.

I did, however, really enjoy the stories, especially Chuck and the glass. Sure came as no surprise that he would bite off a piece!

Christy

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Re: memories
Reply #11 - May 11^th, 2009 at 6:24pm

Shawn, That is soo painful to read. I cannot wrap my mind around this, even though I know there are plenty of children living a life like this.
I'm also reminded of how you and your family are together today, the twins doing well(right?) and their parents happily in love with each other as well as life. That is the revenge. You came thru to the other side a whole person. You have a right to bitterness. How your parental unit treated you was heinous........but, man, look at who you are, and how wonderful life is nowadays.
They say we grow from adversity...dunno why we can't all grow from nurturing....... but, you, sir, growed up reall good. Happy Mother's Day to you and your little family...and hang all the rest!
I wish you and yours nothing but the very best in life from here out!
Cathi

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LeLimey

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Re: memories
Reply #12 - May 11^th, 2009 at 6:28pm

I spend mothers day remembering never to be the mother to my kids that I grew up with - and being thankful I had my "other mother"

If it hadn't been for my friend Lisa's mother I'd never have known the person I wanted to be, the person I am, minus all the bad bits is entirely her. She was the best person I've ever known and I miss her and think of her daily.

She is every daffodil I ever see. They were her favourite flowers and they epitomise her, they are the start of good times after the bad, sunny and fun and stay standing proud no matter what rain or wind hits them.

Lil taught me - to be a daffodil whenever I can.

When she died, I spoke at her funeral. I'm going to paste what I said here. I'm very proud of the fact that my voice didn't crack until the last line. Then the tears flowed.

Lisa and I have been best friends since we were 14 years old.
We were inseparable.
If we weren’t at one house we were at the other and more often than not it was Lil’s house as we were both so much happier there.
For many reasons Lil has always been more of a mother to me than my own mother was and I knew I could – and I did - turn to her any time I needed to. She was always there for me.
Everything I’ve learned about life I learned at St Lil’s School for Little Angels (that’s me and Lisa by the way!)
I’ve learned when you get a hard knock you can sit and get over it for a minute but that’s all. Then you pick yourself up, plaster a smile on your face and get on with it.
I’ve learned that the best way to deal with pain in your own life is to help someone else.
I’ve learned that the answer to every problem in the world is a bar of chocolate – and for really BIG problems add a cream cake – Oh and my wonderful telephone manner is a direct result of emulating Lil’s incomparable and utterly unforgettable way of answering the phone!
I’ve learned that you don’t have to be an Albert Einstein or a Marie Curie to make a difference in this world.
Little people make the biggest difference.
Lil tried to help everyone she could. She literally fed everyone and anyone that turned up and whatever she had she would give you if you needed it.
She had the biggest heart of anyone I know.
She taught me that helping others was the greatest thing any human being can do.
There are angels walking amongst us and Lil absolutely was one.
Anything good in me was inspired by Lil.
I use her expressions daily and smile when I pick myself up sounding just like her.
I admired her so much, her constant cheerfulness, the fact she never complained and how she would do anything for anyone.
If when I die someone says something like this about me then I’ll consider I’ve lived my life to my fullest potential.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a princess with a sparkly tiara and someone else to do the washing up!
When I was a bit older I wanted to be a teacher and now that I have kids of my own I can see there is nothing better to be than a Lil.
Someone who inspires others to do the best they can for themselves and for others, to share willingly what they have and to raise a laugh with a cheeky retort at every conceivable opportunity.
Everyone should be lucky enough to have a Lil in their life. I’m especially lucky – because I’ve got two. Lil and Lisa. Without either one I wouldn’t have the other.
Goodbye Lil. Thank you for everything and God bless, I’m going to try to be just like you every day of my life - until we meet again.

I miss her every day, anyone who doesn't or hasn't had a "Lil" - has missed out on one of the greatest gifts God has ever given this world.

I'm very leaky eyed right now but smiling too - there isn't a bad memory in my life with Lil in it. Not one.

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Shawn

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Re: memories
Reply #13 - May 11^th, 2009 at 6:41pm

Let me be very clear on this, I am not (and never will be) looking for sympathy regarding my childhood. I posted what I posted only to point out that not everybody has happy memories of mother... some are quite a bit less than happy. That being said, I don't mean to take anything away from the beautiful stories posted above.

My mother was like a lot of mothers out there... there's a lot of messed up people in this world. I am not alone in this experience, but I am unlike a lot of people in that I actually THANK GOD for everything I went through. I would not be the person I am today without the sum total of my experiences, and I happen to like the person I grew up to be. Would I recommend my path to anybody? Hell no. But, I wouldn't want to go back and change a single thing.

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cavalier Ex Member	Re: memories Reply #14 - May 11^th, 2009 at 7:22pm Lots of happy memories of mum like the phone calls each day trying to con me into another job (the fitted sheets were hers by the way) Just lucky she's still here and long may it continue.
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Charlie CH.com Alumnus Offline Happy to be here Posts: 18971 Jamestown, NY Gender:	Re: memories Reply #15 - May 11^th, 2009 at 8:02pm Baseball. Mom was the biggest baseball fan in our little town. She hated the Yankees and every time Roy Campanella got a hit during a Dodger-Yankee World Series, she screamed and dropped her iron. (Not really a Mothers Day story but it happened) Charlie
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jon019

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Re: memories
Reply #16 - May 11^th, 2009 at 10:08pm

Charlie wrote on May 11^th, 2009 at 8:02pm:

Baseball. Mom was the biggest baseball fan in our little town.

She hated the Yankees and every time Roy Campanella got a hit during a Dodger-Yankee World Series, she screamed and dropped her iron.

(Not really a Mothers Day story but it happened)

Charlie

Ahhhh...but Charlie...the Perfect Mother's day story...

Mom, apple pie, and baseball....now that there is America.

My Mom didn't know a baseball from a football from a basketball from a hockey puck...but Dad and I were crazy baseball fans and that was good enough for her.

She LOVED Mel Allen...(Yankees broadcaster) I suppose because of the voice AND the fact, that while he is deservedly is in the Hall of Fame, beloved by fans, he made listening to a ballgame enjoyable for all, fan or not. I once asked her why...she told me "he sounds so friendly, he doesn't talk down to you, I ALMOST understand the game when I listen to him".

BTW, I'm a Yankee fan, but I love Campy too...class is class...the uniform don't matter...

Best,

jon

The LARGE print giveth....and the small print taketh away. Tom Waits

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stevegeebe

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Re: memories
Reply #17 - May 11^th, 2009 at 10:43pm

My Mom and I never did get along. To this day we show no affection toward one another. Too much rage from my teenage years. It was not a good time for either. We were too much alike.

She did, however pass on her artistic sensibilities on to me and I am grateful for that. DNA is a powerful thing. So much so that, it seems to have skipped a generation, as it's known to do, and my daughter can draw better that I could have ever imagined.

I told Sarah that if she considers Architecture I'll break her fingers.

Deep down my Mom knows how much I care and I know the same, deep down, about her. We just can't show it and... we go on.

Help me Sigmund..help me!

Steve G

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Re: memories
Reply #18 - May 14^th, 2009 at 5:57pm

I know I'm late on this but I had to chime in. I'm blessed to still have my mum around. She turned 76 this year and still walks a mile a day. I can't single out one memory other than the childhood she gave me. From my age 7 on, she raised me alone - never had a boyfriend, totally dedicated to being my mom.
Today, she is a great-grandmother and Savannah is always DELIGHTED to see her " GG " . My mom is a lot like Shirley McLaine - no one dares call her Great Gramma. GG fits.
She ran for town council a couple of years back and lost by 4 votes. She still sits on a lot of committees (sometimes literally - she might be small but she carries a big stick).
Most recent memory was just a couple of weeks ago. I took her out to the newly opened Bass Pro Shops and she was gobsmacked by the store. Her prize purchase? A ball cap with netting to protect against the bugs on her walk. While she was modelling it in the hat department, looking like a damn beekeeper, an elderly couple walked by and noticed her. I just walked away and said to them "she's not MY mother...."

Shawn, hugs to you. I like the person you've become too.

And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)

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