The spots had gone and I felt right in the mood for a bit of alien hunting.
With all the news surrounding sightings by NASA and a few amateur photos over here in the papers, it seemed as good a time as ever.
Mind made up, thought “I’ll go looking after tea”
“Boots” check.
“Overalls” check.
“Torch” check.
“Big bag with carry handles” check.
“Face paint” check,” quite like this eye liner and lip gloss”.
Off I went,
Down to the nearest field, torch in hand it wasn’t long before I came across a suspicious looking figure hiding in the bushes.
Out came my do it your self identification alien capturing photo fit sheet, that I’d carefully laminated the night before.
Hmm let me see “around 5’6”, slightly bent over, hood, (that might be a hang up from E.T. on his bike)
“Take me to your leader” I yelled.
No response.
Thought about it for a second and said,
“Can you point me discreetly in the direction of your leader?”
“A slight gesture will do”
Didn’t want to get in a mass brawl with god knows how many of them.

“What the F….’s up with you, you nutter?”

“Sorry mate thought you were an alien!

“Do I look like a f…ing alien?”
“As a matter of fact, yes you do”
“F… off you tit.
Didn’t sound like the language you’d find from any respectable alien so I moved on.
That night there seemed to be plenty of hooded people hiding in the bushes but no aliens.
Seems pretty alien to me to be hiding in the bushes late at night.
Perhaps they were all  looking to catch something.
Only, I was looking to catch something of the extraterrestrial type.
Oh well maybe it’s true about the Chinese lanterns……….

oh my

"Eff off you tit"

Oh even if I didn't know before I'd know from that alone you were in the Midlands LOL

Martian Crabs?

Uh, are we really kidding ourselves that Colin hasn't been abducted before...like several times in the past.?


    Sir you just crack me up.