Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except try to support him in the best way you know how.

Until he is tired enough of the pain and really wants to get his life back there isn't much you can do.  He has to want to take control and stop letting the CH control him.

Children get ill too are they old ? 

$hit happens whether you are young or old you just have to pull yourself up by your boot straps and get on with life.

If he lets it go too long he may have no choice in the matter because it WILL start affecting his work.  Dollars to donuts his boss will say something to him eventually.

Suggest 02 to him as well, if he's ever around an EMT or fire station when he has a CH hit tell him to ask to use their 02 to abort the hit.

Best of luck to you and hang in there he'll come around eventually.

Sleep apnea is treated (usually) with CPAP, Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. It's just pressurized room air. Hardly anyone here with it has found a direct impact on their CH. However, when you sleep better, you're better prepared to deal with it during the day.

It sounds like he's got bigger problems than CH. God helps those who help themselves, and as long as he continues to deny that he has a problem, you're just going to piss him off trying to help. I'm not sure how you crack that nut.

JustNotRight wrote on Sep 7^th, 2009 at 5:27pm:

Oxygen is rarely prescribed for sleep apnea. Sometimes oxygen is added via the apnea mask (either a full face mask, a nasal mask, or nasal pillow system) for the most severe cases of apnea.

I'm not sure you two are talking about the same equipment or therapy. Or maybe I'm not.

Brew wrote on Sep 7^th, 2009 at 6:30pm:

  Got me Brew    I was speaking only of CH

Thanks for clarity, Brew... It's all so confusing. Was not aware of that about the s.apnea mask. Assumed it was O2! No wonder I couldn't really find discussion about it!

Made a little head-way with him tonight. Tried to be very supportive and told him we need to deal with it~ it will just get worse, not go away. I'm letting him just "sit" with his thoughts tonight and not bug him. His eye's been watering all day, but not much pain. We'll see what the night brings. I'm going to use all my willpower to not suggest Verapamil tonight.

We live in GA, BTW. He's not ready to talk to anyone yet, thanks for the offer! I'll keep you posted...

Keep coming here while you're coaxing him out of doing this alone.  We'll support you supporting him . . . until the time we can also support him directly.  I can't tell you how many times I've come to this site, read about someone new finding us, and cried that they thought they were alone all this time.

There's no shame in this condition, only pain.  We all live with it in one manner or another - as supporters such as myself and Christy, or as sufferers.

I'm proud you found us and asked for help.  We'll do all we can for you, while you work on him to join our family.  Best of luck and chin up.  At least you know YOU are not alone now.

Jellybelly-

Have you ever thought about going on with your life and ignoring him like he is asking you to do?  If he is in denial, then join him and ignore it like he does (It will be much easier for you than him!).  If he says something about it, tell him you know that when he is bad enough, he will seek help.  There is rarely a good outcome when we beg or do for someone what they can do for themselves.  I'm really a tender hearted person, but I have seen codependency at its best and no one is a winner in that situation.  Let it go...Try it...it is liberating.  Come to this site for your sanity.      

Hope you're not mad at me!

Joni   

Good morning and thanks to all for your advice. I hope you'll indulge me for a minute while a clarify a few things?

I've got to say first of all, that my husband is THE BEST guy~ to know him is to love him. I met him when I was 15, fell in love with him @ 17 and hung on for dear life. We were married at 24, had 2 kids when I was 31 & 35 and have been together 26 years. He is my best friend in the world and I can't imagine life without him.

I'm afraid I made him sound like a jerk yesterday, but it was because I was so completely BAFFLED by his behavior! I think being a cop for 20 years is finally taking a toll on his psyche... He's getting so black/white in his thinking... Not much middle ground.

That all being said, he came home yesterday and apologized for making me upset. I told him I could only begin to imagine the pain and depression that comes with this and that I wasn't going to push. I DID also then say that he's coming up on a very stressful work period and he probably couldn't afford to ignore the problem. History has shown that doesn't work. I reminded him of the Prednisone... (I'd forgotten about the it... it's worked in the past before the Verapamil. We'll go that route again first.) We agreed when he felt the pain coming on again he'd call me immediately so I could call the Dr. for the prescription.

And I'm done... ball's in his park. I didn't nag. Just showed compassion, let him know I cared, offered my assistance and backed off.

We had a very nice evening! 

Fingers crossed we get a little more of a break.
Take care.

P.S. We asked the primary MD about O2 way back and were shot down~ I'll push the subject again when necessary, trust me!!

Ooo~ He tried the nasal Imitrex and almost threw up immediately... right there at work in front of everybody in his squad. Add it to the list of meds that DON'T work for him!

jellybelly wrote on Sep 8^th, 2009 at 2:49pm:


Actually my husband couldn't use the nasal imitrex either. He has issues with sinus related things. But he get it in the single shot cartridges now.  He only uses as a last resort, basically if he doesn't have O2 handy.

Your husband sounds so much like mine!!!  Each time his cycle comes (about every 3-4 years) he's in complete denial for days!  I know it's coming (and he knows but won't admit it).  He'll suffer for days saying "I can think it away" HA!  Ya right!  Finally after days of neither of us getting any sleep (his are always at night and a few throughout the day), I finally put my foot down and make the doctor appointment for him.  I've always done all the research (mainly info from this site).  I think he's too scared to look at this site.  Although I know he knows it's not logical, he somehow thinks that if he ignores it or doesn't talk about it that it won't come.  It gets so frustrating!  I get angry and want to throw up my hands but then I feel guilty because I can only imagine the pain he's in and the fear I know he's feeling.  When a cycle starts, I can't image how I might feel knowing that I'm in for a painful, stressful 2-3 months.

My husband HATES taking meds of any kind.  Even if the meds don't give him any side effects he just simply hates putting anything into his body.  I'm convinced the cycle he's in right now has been drastically elongated because he has started and stopped his meds several times.  He gets one pain free day and thinks it's over and stops meds.  Several days later when it's ramped back up, he goes back on the meds.  No matter how many times I have told him, the doc has told him, the neighbor who's a pharmacist has told him, that starting and stopping meds on your own is bad, he still does it!

The one thing I urge you to do is get the O2.  It's been 100% effective to stop Tim's CH's and he's willing to take it because to him its not a med.  It's simply oxygen and not something harmful to his body and won't have any side effects (he really hates the way the prednisone and lithium make him feel).

Hang in there and use a little bit of tough love.  Even though Tim won't come and read from this site, I've spent countless hours reading through it all, summarizing it and passing on to him what I've found.  I also found it helpful to describe what meds and dosages others are taking.  He's taking 900 mg lithium (or was before he quit 2 days ago!) and it was comforting for him to see the links to the med info section or posts from others that 900 mg is completely within the realm of normal.  Although he's happy with and trusts the new headache doc we found this cycle, confirmation from this site seemed to help him.

How typical!!! Those boys just crack me up...