Never thought I would ever be reduced to complaining about pain. I'd always thought I was strong enough to maintain my privacy dealing with CH's. Yet here I am, cap in hand-- feeling solace in realizing that I'm not the only person in the world that God decided to take a big dump on (I don''t really feel that way-- until my cycles start).

Here's the kicker-- some of you guys have this chronically, every single day, while mine only happen twice a year. I wouldn't be able to take it every day. I'm not that strong. I'm not-- I know I'd take the easy way out if I never had a vacation from them.

My new cycle started two weeks and one day ago, at a brunch with my girlfriend after church. I had a glass of wine, and knew twenty minutes later that I was a walking dead man. The shadow popped up, and that evening, I was in my familiar position, laying down in the living room, left temple on the tile, my foot quickly rocking my body back and forth. Tears coming out, nose stopped up, too much pain to think. I woke up later that night in the same position and started crying because I knew that it was the first of a brand new litter.

This past Saturday night and all day Sunday was the worst-- five Ch attacks in 36 hours. A grand total of three hours of sleep. Today, nothing so far. But the night is still young, and it's back there in the darkness, waiting for me to let my guard down.

I started going out with a young lady recently. I mentioned them to her offhandedly a few weeks before the new cycle started. I think she's taking it seriously after I bailed on her from church yesterday morning. I thought I handled myself pretty well while making as graceful an exit as I could, but she told me via an email this morning that I looked and sounded like a different man as I told her I was leaving. She's right to an extent: I was different, but when the attacks hit, I'm certainly not a man, I'm reduced to a petulant, whimpering, simpering, child.

I didn't want her to see this... not this soon. I didn't want her to be part of this world. It's not enough that I have to go through this stuff by myself, oh no! Fate dictated to me that if I want to have a special young lady in my life, that she also has to bear a certain amount of the burden. But I suppose that's par for the course, isn't it? I mean, this stuff has no sense of fair play or good form. It's going to take a big, steaming dump not just on me (and you guys too), but on the people closest to us also.

My cycles hit me in late June and early October-- no fail since 1986. This year, I had zero attacks in the summer. But my autumnal attack, while not more severe than in previous years are all over the place time wise. I used to be able to set my clock by the attacks, and after the first week, knew precisely when my two a days would hit. This time, I'm getting, 1, 2, even 3 attacks per day with no rhyme or reason, no set times, and it's scaring the living daylights out of me. I can't have these things hitting me while I'm at work... I just can't.

Anyways, here I am-- typing out my fears to a bunch of people I don't know and probably never will because you guys are the only ones who know that these aren't headaches-- it's a curse.

I'd love to be able to say, "but at least there's one solace in all of this..." but there's not. There's no solace to be found in this and we all know it. There's simply the pain, or dread of the pain. A Shakespearean tragedy write small every single day for the next four or five weeks.

I think I'll read some of your posts til I either go to sleep or the next one hits. I'm sorry you have to go through this too-- it's not anything I'd want anyone else in the world to have.

Hi Jerry!  Welcome to CH.com.   Glad you found us but sorry you had to.  I wish you a short, mild cycle.

Jeannie

Jerry I think you will probably be able to prevent, and if necessary, abort the vast majority of these attacks.

I say that a someone whose years of just allowing the beast to rage out of control are over.

Learn here about how to counterpunch with some vicious blows, and knock the beast out, or at least down hard.

You might want to start off by using O2 a la the "oxygen info" link on the left side of the forum view, and start using it yesterday.

Any other treatments you consider, you can bounce 'em off us, because some of us members could have some "been there done that" type opinions (although not professional medical advice).

What Joe said................and Joe why aren't you protecting the citizens instead of on the puter ?

I'm posting this before I even actually introduce myself. XD I couldn't help it. Your title caught my eye...

I'm a Romantic so it's a huge thing to see.. A lot of couples don't like letting the other see themselves exposed in such a weakened state. (Especially guys who have to be the 'strong protector') And let's face it, when the 'beast strikes', we're usually knocked on our butts, waiting for the beast to get bored wailing on us and leave us alone...

The only thing I can help with is the ease of the 'love' issue. If she truly cares about you.. seeing you in such a weakened state, she may want to step up and be the 'strong one' in that situation.. To try and comfort you.. Remember, a relationship is a partnership. Like it or not, you come with a chain attached from your heart to the beast. Anybody you want to be with, is going to have to learn that sooner or later...

Hi Jerry, glad to hear you are starting to arrange a defense against the "Beast"

o2 is a blessing for many of us.

This site "will" help you!!! Stick around and learn from those with vast experience.

All the best

Iddy

Hi Jerry,

I too use the Aldi Brand of Red Bull, and keep a supply on hand at all times.

Not having insurance can be a real PITA when it comes to treating this condition, but there are organizations that help with medications. 

There is also a site you may want to read up at.

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

they also have a message board that you can get to from the left hand bar.

<< bottom button

And don't be a stranger round here.  We folks aren't ALL crazy.  But watch out for ClusterChuck.  He's a bit daffy.

Quote:

I'm saying right here, right now: I hope to God I'm not there to witness that.

Jerry!  This site and people here, that I've talked to or not, is and are wonderful!!!   I was just like you, up until a year and a half ago.  OXYGEN!!!!!!!!!  Wow, what a miracle it is.  And I learned all about it here.  I would have tried anything to help me, anything!!!!   But after talking to my Dr. and getting this lifesaver, I can better cope with life when these cycles start.  My cycle just started again 2 weeks ago, seen my doctor and o2 was set up right away again.  I recently purchased the non-rebreather from the ch store here also, and that really helps.  Bottom line, get what you have to get done with the Dr. but for Gods Sake try this!!!
My heart is whith you and everyone in or out of a cycle right now.  God Bless you all!!!