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Jeannie CH.com Sponsor Offline Live, Laugh, Love.... Posts: 2333 St Louis, Missouri Gender:	How on Earth.... Feb 10^th, 2010 at 6:10pm ....do people survive raising teenagers? Though I have a wonderful one most of the time, I sometimes wonder if we'll make it. Jeannie
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy CH.com Alumnus Offline What Goes Around Comes Around! Posts: 4496 Georgetown,Ontario Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #1 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 6:25pm I promise you will make it. I raised 3 of 'em - and they are all still alive, doing well, and more than well into adulthood! Hang in there Mama! Remember this - grandchildren will be your best revenge!
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Linda_Howell

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #2 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 6:38pm

Don't even ask me Jeannie.

I had 7 of them. I didn't survive. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to

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I feel for ya dear. The only advice I can give you is never let them see you sweat. EVER! stick to what you know is right and be consistant.

After they've gone to sleep at night a healthy shot of whiskey won't hurt either. For you....not them. Wink

and this too shall pass.

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« Last Edit: Feb 10^th, 2010 at 6:48pm by Linda_Howell »

Hurt people.....hurt people. Think about it.

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Brew

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #3 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 7:31pm

The only thing I can add to the sage advice already given is this: Always - ALWAYS - present a united front. Even if you and your spouse are of differing opinions as to how to handle a situation. Work out the differences away from the affected teen-aged moron, but never let them think that you are not of one mind. Otherwise they will exploit it to the point that you will be convinced that you should be saving for law school.

They can be vile, nasty, knarly creatures, but eventually you'll start to see signs that they might actually think you're right, and that you actually cared enough about them to have their best interests at heart.

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"I have been asked if I have changed in these past 25 years. No, I am the same. Only more so." --Ayn Rand

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Jackie CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Go For It!!! Posts: 5903 Goshen, IN Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #4 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 7:41pm Jeannie wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 6:10pm: ....do people survive raising teenagers? Damned if I know....and I raised two of them.
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Potter CH.com Alumnus Offline Team MOOSE DROOL Stinky Stuff on a Hook Prostaff Posts: 3600 Blgs.Mt. Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #5 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 7:58pm We had a no rules deal, no curfew(don't wake me throwing up) I don't help with home work Don't lie to me and I 'll go to bat for ya. Your grades are yours. I don't care. Run fast jump high and shoot the ball. Potter
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Guiseppi

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #6 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:09pm

Brew wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 7:31pm:

The only thing I can add to the sage advice already given is this: Always - ALWAYS - present a united front. Even if you and your spouse are of differing opinions as to how to handle a situation. Work out the differences away from the affected teen-aged moron, but never let them think that you are not of one mind. Otherwise they will exploit it to the point that you will be convinced that you should be saving for law school.

They can be vile, nasty, knarly creatures, but eventually you'll start to see signs that they might actually think you're right, and that you actually cared enough about them to have their best interests at heart.

Amen!

Joe

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"Somebody had to say it" is usually a piss poor excuse to be mean.

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Racer1_NC

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #7 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:20pm

Brew wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 7:31pm:

The only thing I can add to the sage advice already given is this: Always - ALWAYS - present a united front. Even if you and your spouse are of differing opinions as to how to handle a situation. Work out the differences away from the affected teen-aged moron, but never let them think that you are not of one mind. Otherwise they will exploit it to the point that you will be convinced that you should be saving for law school.

They can be vile, nasty, knarly creatures, but eventually you'll start to see signs that they might actually think you're right, and that you actually cared enough about them to have their best interests at heart.

That, or shoot one. The rest tend to fall in line after that. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to

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“We see what we believe, not the other way around." — Varga

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Mosaicwench CH.com Sponsor Offline www.mosaicwench.com Posts: 3507 Near Milwaukee WI, USA Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #8 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:35pm Racer1_NC wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:20pm: That, or shoot one. The rest tend to fall in line after that. i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/Racer1_NC/Smilies/rofl.gif Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, I only have ONE. Damn.
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Jackie CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Go For It!!! Posts: 5903 Goshen, IN Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #9 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:38pm I read this somewhere.....sounds right to me.. Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
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Linda_Howell

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #10 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:40pm

Daayum Bill. Why didn't I think of that. Smiley

I coulda saved myself and them so many years of grief.

Jeannie, the thing Brew said is also so very true and I should have added that to mine as well. You and their Dad NEED to be in perfect agreement in front of them. Argue about stuff out of their sight.. but put up a united front.

You said you have a wonderful one MOST of the time. MAN! that does my heart good. He/she is going to make it then. Kiss

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Hurt people.....hurt people. Think about it.

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Racer1_NC CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline "Well, let's go see." Posts: 4417 Lewisville, NC Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #11 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:47pm Mosaicwench wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:35pm: Racer1_NC wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:20pm: That, or shoot one. The rest tend to fall in line after that. i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/Racer1_NC/Smilies/rofl.gif Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, I only have ONE. Damn. They bring friends in don't they?
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy CH.com Alumnus Offline What Goes Around Comes Around! Posts: 4496 Georgetown,Ontario Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #12 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:49pm I always found too that a little healthy fear never hurt anyone. They just never knew what I might do, say, or where I might just show up to check on things. I like what Potter and Racer have said. Wish I'd had their wisdom 20 years ago!!!
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Redd CH.com Sponsor Offline Posts: 8457 Stevens Point USA Wisconsin Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #13 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 9:08pm Does anyone besides me wonder how Linda is in such great shape after 7 children? Ok...I'm going to my corner now. Jeanie, I have two, and at 19 and 17, they have seldom caused me trouble. But there have been some moments.......I shudder at the memories ....
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LeLimey Ex Member	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #14 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 9:20pm Jackie wrote on Feb 10^th, 2010 at 8:38pm: I read this somewhere.....sounds right to me.. Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does. ROTFL I love this!
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QnHeartMM

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #15 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 10:08pm

Great advice here.

As long as we're talking about dealing with teenagers, we had a few additional rules:

- B's or better to get driver's license and/or continue driving

- Solo dates at 16, group outings at 15 with a parent driving

- and rules for dating - no more than one year (either way) difference in age.

Oh and our kids school had the "Safe house" agreement we signed every year. Our kids weren't allowed to go to parties at any house that wasn't on the list. Safe house meant parents signed an agreement stating they would not serve alchohol to minors.

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Treat people with kind words.

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Melissa

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #16 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 10:27pm

Jeannie, I honestly can't give you an answer as no 2 teens are alike, so all I gotta say is to go with your gut as best you can, and try to remember that underneath the unfamiliar exterior is still your sweet, loving child.

I swear to God I see glimpses of mine from time to time! It's not often, but it gives me hope, lol.

*BIG HUGS*!!

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Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

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Dallas Denny 62 CH.com Old Timer Offline Semper Fi !!!! Posts: 295 Island Bayou Mushroom Farm Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #17 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 10:34pm Jeannie, if you figure it out let me know!! Most of the time I just wanna kill mine and tell God he died!! Dd
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Callico

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #18 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 11:00pm

Love them unconditionally, but also have unconditional rules that they will abide. As others have said, ALWAYS show a united front with their Dad. Don't give in to their whining, griping, complaining, crying, etc. They really want to know that you care enough to say "NO" and mean it. Kids need and really want boundaries. It gives them an out when someone else is pressuing them to do something they really don't want to do. I know it made my life a lot easier to say, "My Dad would kill me!" or "My parents won't allow me to do that." They might gripe about it, but they really want it.

Jerry

Edit to add: TELL them you love them regularly! Even when you have to bite your tongue to do it. They need to hear it as well as see it.

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« Last Edit: Feb 10^th, 2010 at 11:01pm by Callico »

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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #19 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 11:18pm Quote: I swear to God I see glimpses of mine from time to time! It's not often, but it gives me hope, Mel has a very valid point here. Whenever you see that....pounce on it. THAT is the time to talk to her/him. THAT is the time to connect, bond and let them know how much you care.
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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #20 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 11:56pm And remind yourself when they finally do leave, it stings the littlest teeny bit......makes putting up with some of the other stuff a little easier. Joe
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catlind

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #21 - Feb 11^th, 2010 at 2:34am

Oh I can sooooooooooooooooo relate to that one Jeannie! I told my mother this past weekend that if I had been my mother I would have killed me - outright - and no jury in the land would have convicted.

I swear, with boys there's a gradual incremental slow stead progression to adulthood, with girls, someone throws the stupid switch, and you'd have better luck explaining theoretical quantum physics to a 2 year old; I am assured however, that in a short time, (for some it's months, others maybe years - I was years, long years .....) the stupid switch suddenly flips off and they are amazing human beings all growed up (or nearly so).

I'll hang tough if you will too!

Cat

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BarbaraD CH.com Alumnus Offline Hugs to ya Posts: 8333 Douglasville, TX Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #22 - Feb 11^th, 2010 at 4:46am And always hold the thought that SOMEDAY THEY'LL BE PARENTS AND BE RAISING TEENS and Paybacks are HELL!!
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Melissa CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't give up! Posts: 7238 Central WI, USA Gender:	Re: How on Earth.... Reply #23 - Feb 11^th, 2010 at 7:22am catlind wrote on Feb 11^th, 2010 at 2:34am: I swear, with boys there's a gradual incremental slow stead progression to adulthood, with girls, someone throws the stupid switch, and you'd have better luck explaining theoretical quantum physics to a 2 year old; LMAO, the stupid switch, I like that!!
Back to top	« Last Edit: Feb 11^th, 2010 at 7:24am by Melissa » Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel IP Logged

Jeannie

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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #24 - Feb 11^th, 2010 at 9:17am

Thanks guys... This made me smile. I knew I could count on all of you!

Joe really is a wonderful kid. He tells me he loves me, (even in front of his friends) thanks me for every meal I cook and for doing laundry. He works hard at his job, shows up on time and rarely calls in sick. He's not the best student and we are working on that.

Our problem is that when I think I am treating him like an adult, he thinks I treating him like a "little kid." Then his "attitude" comes out. I know it will pass.

Thanks for all of your advice. And Pegg, I was thinking the same thing about Linda!

Jeannie

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"It's all a grand illusion when you think you're in control." ~ Kenny Chesney

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