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How on Earth.... (Read 3213 times)
Mosaicwench
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #25 - Feb 11th, 2010 at 12:18pm
 
Ah . .the "treat me like an adult" rant . . . I get it at least weekly, and mine IS now an adult. 

But "adult" doesn't mean just age.  It's Respect, Responsibility, and doing the Right thing.  I think your Joe is on the right track - at least it sounds like he is.

And mom, acknowledge those things about your relationship with your son that are your problems.  I had a long hard talk with myself about those things; which of my perceptions to let go by the wayside and which to stand up for.  Once some of my personal deadwood was cleared out, things got better.  It IS hard to think of these young men as anything other than 10 years old and in need of our help.
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Jeannie
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #26 - Feb 11th, 2010 at 1:35pm
 
Thanks, Pat.   I have to admit that I probably need to work on myself .... just a little Wink
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deltadarlin
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #27 - Feb 11th, 2010 at 5:27pm
 
Pick your battles.
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NancyB
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #28 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:44am
 
I have 2 teen boys. I find it in my best interest to have as many of their friends over as often as possible. Yes they make a lot of noise, but I know what they are doing and who their friends are. Also, and this is big, they've got to clean!!!!!!!! before anyone arrives, bathroom especially. Then just trust that we've done a good job and hope for the best. I'm told we'll survive.
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QnHeartMM
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #29 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:50am
 
And then, one day, they floor you buy saying something like, "Mom, we were so lucky to have you and dad as our parents."

Then you know you did your job well. Smiley

By the way, if you or your husband have one of those Employee Assistance Plans (EAP) at work, I found alot of good info on our website during the teen-raising years.
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Brew
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #30 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:53am
 
QnHeartMM wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:50am:
And then, one day, they floor you buy saying something like, "Mom, we were so lucky to have you and dad as our parents. Can I borrow $20?"

Fixed it for ya.
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Potter
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #31 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:57am
 
Brew wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:53am:
QnHeartMM wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:50am:
And then, one day, they floor you buy saying something like, "Mom, we were so lucky to have you and dad as our parents. Can I have $20?"

Fixed it for ya.


This is more believable.

         Potter
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Brew
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #32 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 11:01am
 
Potter wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:57am:
Brew wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:53am:
QnHeartMM wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:50am:
And then, one day, they floor you buy saying something like, "Mom, we were so lucky to have you and dad as our parents. Can I have $20?"

Fixed it for ya.


This is more believable.

         Potter

You are most certainly correct, sir! What was I thinking?
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NancyB
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #33 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 11:08am
 
So what do you do with a couple of teens that don't even want to drive? Not that I'm complaining mind you, just be nice not to be chauffer all the time.
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DennisM1045
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #34 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 12:24pm
 
NancyB wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 11:08am:
So what do you do with a couple of teens that don't even want to drive? Not that I'm complaining mind you, just be nice not to be chauffer all the time.

Just say no.  Sometimes that is the right answer.

I had a few that got licenses late (18).  The only ride they got from me was to work and back.  The rest was up to them.

-Dennis-
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DennisM1045
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #35 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 12:24pm
 
Brew wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 11:01am:
Potter wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:57am:
Brew wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:53am:
QnHeartMM wrote on Feb 12th, 2010 at 10:50am:
And then, one day, they floor you buy saying something like, "Mom, we were so lucky to have you and dad as our parents. Can I have $20?"

Fixed it for ya.


This is more believable.

         Potter

You are most certainly correct, sir! What was I thinking?

Joe, are you letting her watch the Hallmark channel again?

-Dennis-
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Where there is life, there is hope.
Where there is Oxygen, you must use proper caution.
So be safe, don't smoke while using O2. Kill the pain and not yourself.
dennism1045 dennism1045 524417261 DennisM1045 DennisM1045  
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DennisM1045
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #36 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 12:28pm
 
Jeannie wrote on Feb 11th, 2010 at 9:17am:
Our problem is that when I think I am treating him like an adult, he thinks I treating him like a "little kid."   Then his "attitude" comes out.  I know it will pass. 

Jeannie, there is some really good advice in this thread.  But I'm sure you know all this already.  Raising teens is tough.  It's supposed to be.  Don't doubt yourself.  If it don't feel right, it ain't right.

But I'm here to tell ya that they do eventually love you for more than clean clothes, food and gas money again.  For right now though, they're not supposed to.  It's just how it works.

Stick to your guns hun.

-Dennis-
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Where there is life, there is hope.
Where there is Oxygen, you must use proper caution.
So be safe, don't smoke while using O2. Kill the pain and not yourself.
dennism1045 dennism1045 524417261 DennisM1045 DennisM1045  
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Linda_Howell
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #37 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 2:54pm
 
What Dennis just said is very correct. They're not supposed to.
  When my kids told me they hated me...I didn't blink an eye.  Instead I said "then I am doing my work as a parent."
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Jeannie
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #38 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 4:21pm
 
Things are better today....for the moment.  Weekends are hard when they are grounded.  Sometimes I wonder who I'm punishing.... me or him!

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Langa
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Re: How on Earth....
Reply #39 - Feb 12th, 2010 at 8:13pm
 
I always tell people I got my scruffy knees from praying so much when I was raising Crystal - mainly I think for strength that I wouldn't kill her.  She's 19 now and things are much better.  Unfortunately, I had to release her so she could make her mistakes.  Crystal is as stubborn as they come and has to learn on her own.   She's staying away from drugs, losers and is attending college - what else can I ask for.

Great advice by the way Brew.

Langa
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