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Potter CH.com Alumnus Offline Team MOOSE DROOL Stinky Stuff on a Hook Prostaff Posts: 3600 Blgs.Mt. Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #25 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 5:40pm Linda_Howell wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 5:29pm: This thread is going to go for 4 pages. Isn't it? Farts are funny. Potter
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LeLimey Ex Member	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #26 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 6:07pm My pome... A fart is a natural explosion That comes from out of your bum Down the valley of the trouser leg And out with a musical hum takes a bow DO NOT LET HER EAT LICORICE. Well - not unless she's going to her dads for the weekend..
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Dallas Denny 62 CH.com Old Timer Offline Semper Fi !!!! Posts: 295 Island Bayou Mushroom Farm Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #27 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 8:24pm Jimi wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 10:52am: In the south, women don't pass gas. I don't know bout Southern women Jimi, but my ex was a born and bred Texan....and on numerous occasions I've seen her shift her weight, lift a cheek, and break wind like a full grown man and then say, "oops, I pooted"....lmao!! DD
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KJ CH.com Alumnus Offline Posts: 596 Indianapolis, IN Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #28 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 8:42pm Show her a text of this thread.....should make her stop farting and hate you more at the same time.
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Redd CH.com Sponsor Offline Posts: 8457 Stevens Point USA Wisconsin Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #29 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 8:52pm Oh she loves me.... She was in Florida last week with the Music Department, and she warned all her room mates about her little "gas issue". She's well aware.
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Skyhawk5 CH.com Alumnus Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1320 Ypsilanti, Mi. USA Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #30 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 9:22pm Ah yes, "weapons of a$$ destruction." Don
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Linda_Howell CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Do not feed the Moderators Posts: 11927 Santa Maria, Ca. Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #31 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 9:51pm Quote: She's well aware. of what? that you have now posted this to 100's of perfect strangers ? Quote: hate you more at the same time Oh I hope not. Teens have a hard enough time loving us for the good things we do. OMG...I just added one more post to making this thread to 2 pages. I need to be flogged.
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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #32 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 11:40pm Linda everyone's having a "Gas" It's just a "Passing" thread. It'll stop when all the posters get "Winded." I'm getting "Pooped" already. I kill me I really do
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Jimi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't feed the moderators Posts: 4925 Madisonville, KY Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #33 - Apr 2^nd, 2010 at 11:45pm You kill me, I know that.
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LeLimey

Ex Member

Re: I've been gassed.......
Reply #34 - Apr 3^rd, 2010 at 7:17am

For Linda..

Laugh and the world laughs with you - fart and they all stop.

A Ballerina goes to the Doctor,
"Doc I am having terrible trouble with the most awful wind, every time I pirouette I fart" she cries.
"Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I'd like to see that if possible"
The ballerina get up, pirouettes and Phrrrt... Farts loudly.
"Thats amazing, do it again,"
Again the pirouette is accompanied by a loud fart
"Hmmm," says the Doctor "I think I may be able to help" he bends down and picks up a long pole with a curious barbed hook on the end.
The ballerina starts back in alarm, "What the ~&%$*? are you going to do with that?" she asks,
"Opening the window, it stinks in here for Gods sake!"

A nervous young man, keen to impress, is visiting his future in laws for the very first time.
After a huge Sunday Lunch they are all relaxing in the lounge when the young man lets off a real ripsnorter. The father gets up and shouts at the dog, "Get out Rex, get out!"
"Phew," thinks the young man, "They thought it was the dog,"
Next time he doesn't even try to hold it in and again the father shouts at the dog, "Rex, Out, Out,"
The third time the young man had grown in confidence and releases a huge rumbling air biscuit at which the father jumps up and shouts,
"Get out Rex, quick before he s***ts all over you"

What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.

What do you call "fart" in German?
Farfrompoopin!

and finally.. my favourite..

Why don't little girls fart?
'cos they don't have a$$holes 'til they're married Cool

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LeLimey

Ex Member

Re: I've been gassed.......
Reply #35 - Apr 3^rd, 2010 at 7:27am

Actually this might explain it all

WHAT KIND OF FARTER ARE YOU?

Pick the day you were born on (i.e. 5th, 6th etc.) to see what kind of farter you are...

1-AMBITIOUS FARTER
Always ready to fart.

2-LAZY FARTER
Just fizzles

3-AMIABLE FARTER
Likes to smell others

4-SELFISH FARTER
Only enjoys smelling his own farts.

5-CARELESS FARTER
Farts in church, restaurants, and department stores without even an iota of shame.

6-SMART ALEC FARTER
Farts when girls are in the room.

7-CLEVER FARTER
Farts and coughs at same time.

8-SCIENTIFIC FARTER
Keeps his or her farts in jars with the dates on them.

9-STINGY FARTER
Belches instead of farting to save his butthole.

10-FOOLISH FARTER
Farts and laughs, while others cry.

11-SHY FARTER
Can only fart on a deserted Island.

12-CONCEITED FARTER
Thinks he can fart the loudest.

13- FARTER
Tries to fart and soils his underwear.

14- TIMID FARTER
Is emotionally shaken by the sound of farts.

15-BEWILDERED FARTER
Unable to distinguish between their farts and others.

16-SLOVENLY FARTER
Farts refuse to leave underwear, it's nice and damp in there and they can stick around.

17-NERVOUS FARTER
Farts very tight squeaky half farts, keeps the rest for the privacy of his or her own home.

18-MISERABLE FARTER
Can't fart unless he or she is in the privacy of their own home..

19-CONFUSED FARTER
Has such bad breath he or she can't tell where the smell is coming from.

20-GROUCHY FARTER
Swears at his or her farts.

21-SNEAKY FARTER
Farts, cups the noxious cloud tightly between his or her cheeks, then waits for someone else to get up or make a move to lift cheek.

22-DISAPPOINTED FARTER
Their farts don't stink.

23-FRESH GUY FARTER
Turns around in front of you and farts.

24-BIG BULLY FARTER
Farts louder, longer, and smellier than everyone elses.

25-VAIN FARTER
Deeply moved by the smell of farts.

26-CLAIRVOYANT FARTER
Can tell what others have eaten from their farts.

27-WISE FARTER
Farts and say's "Who dropped their guts?"

28-DAMNED MEAN FARTER
Farts in bed and pulls the covers over wife's head (aka the Dutch oven)

29-MUSICAL FARTER
Tenor or bass
Clear as a bell
Smells like shit
Sounds like a tuba

30-HONEST FARTER
Farts and blames in on others or the dog.

31-LIVELY FARTER
Jumps up in air, toots three times, kicks simultaneously

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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #36 - Apr 3^rd, 2010 at 9:36am Sometimes.....when you crry....no one sees your tears.... Sometimes......when you are worried.......no one sees your pain..... Sometimes......when you are happy......no one sees your smile..... But Fart just one time.....
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Langa CH.com Alumnus Offline So many donuts, such little time... Posts: 4754 x0\|\|USA\|usa\|0\|0\|NJ,New_Jersey Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #37 - Apr 5^th, 2010 at 2:31am LMAO! I feel your pain Sis...Must be a teenage thing...Even Peanut runs for cover when Crystal decides to bless us with one of her farts. Langa
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Jeannie CH.com Sponsor Offline Live, Laugh, Love.... Posts: 2333 St Louis, Missouri Gender:	Re: I've been gassed....... Reply #38 - Apr 6^th, 2010 at 9:24am Okay... Here's one from Morgan: Beans, beans, the musical fruit The more you eat, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel So eat your beans with every meal!
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