Wendy.. Gosh what a problem.    Wish the best for ya.  But only you know the answers to your dilema.

   You can not change anyone!    Do whats best for YOU!

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If you have not already gone to AlAnon, I suggest you do.  This man will bring you down with him if you don't act now. You already said he tried re-hab and it didn't change his problem at all. If he wanted to alter his behavior...it would have already happened. Do not be an enabler.  Please.  That's not love.  It's sick and it's counter-productive to what you would wish for him which is sobriety.   When he is sober for a year.  tell him to call you.  Ala-non will tell you the same thing.  As hard as this may seem this is the most loving thing in the world you can do for him.

Are you worrying about having no support re: your headaches ?

...honey you have all of us.   

Linda    (270)-824-8328     if you want to talk.

From experience - I will tell you that  you can't fix another person if they don't admit to being broken.  What Linda tells you is the best advise you will ever get.

Hugs and hoping for a better life for you from the original "been there - done that" gal!
Carol

All good advice, especially about AlAnon. Keep in mind most addictions, and this is especially true of alcohol, require a "triangle" network. This is an interaction between victim-persecutor-rescuer. Three people or more are needed to play. And they often swap roles just to keep this dangerous activity going. The persecutor blames or accuses; the victim whines; the rescuer enables-and the victim feels justified in indulging his or her favorite sedative. The only way out is to not be one of the three anymore. AlAnon helps you not become a victim yourself, and teaches you how to not enable or persecute. By the way, just pointing out the consequences of destructive behavior are not victimizing: the opposite is true. Most addicts are pretending there are no consequences. Sad. Take care of yourself first. God bless! lance

I am so sorry you have to go through this, I did the same myself but it was drugs and it was my wife of five years and it sucks I am not going to sugar cote it. Linda is right about the AlAnon meetings, I went and it really did help me deal with the loss I was about to go through and it helped me understand what a monster addiction really is and how hard it is for someone with it to deal with and overcome. Please check them out it will be helpful in your healing and understanding.

Yep, Wendy.  It WILL be the hardest thing for you to do, but you're already strong indivual just because of CH.  If he is serious about getting sober and you tell him to call you when he's been sober for a year...then maybe there's hope for the 2 of you.  In any case, you should go on with your life.  Please stick around here and keep us up-dated on your life/head/etc.

I have practiced saying these words, exactly how I feel.  I want to be prepared to say them.