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My wife may have cancer (Read 6610 times)

chbob04

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My wife may have cancer
Oct 20^th, 2010 at 1:42am

Hi folk. You may know me from previous posts. I do hope so.
I am in a quandry. So is my wife without saying.

We ae not yet sure. But does anybody here know of any source like this one for support?

I love this woman. We have been maried 25 years. I cannot imagine

I was always supposed to go first.

Christ, I wanted to go first. She is my life.

« Last Edit: Oct 20^th, 2010 at 1:47am by chbob04 »

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JustNotRight

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #1 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 6:39am

I am so sorry your wife and you have to go through this. I pray everything turns out ok.

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The list of cancer support groups is listed down the center of the page. You may also find this link useful Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!! You need to

You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

« Last Edit: Oct 20^th, 2010 at 6:40am by JustNotRight »

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wimsey1

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #2 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 7:46am

I echo Ginger's prayers and thoughts. I do not know of a support group like this for cancer, although I'm certain there must be one. I do know this: your time with the Beast has been good training for what lies ahead. You and your wife will be challenged, tested, pushed and pulled-but you are strong enough for whatever comes your way. I know, easy for someone to say, but I've battled a lot, too, and you will be up for this because you have to be. God bless! lance

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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #3 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 8:49am Will add you and your wife to our prayer intentions. Joe
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Mike NZ CH.com Hall of Famer Offline Oxygen rocks! D3 too! Posts: 3785 Auckland, New Zealand Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #4 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 2:00pm My thoughts are with you. Just like with CH, get a diagnosis and then learn all you can about it and what needs to be done. Then work with your doctors to get the best treatment in place.
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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #5 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 4:23pm

Dear Bob,
I am going to take this very carefully, because, as a survivor myself- STILL going through treatment, I have some VERY strong feelings on this subject.
First off, Cancer is no longer an automatic death sentence. That being said, the SOONER you get a diagnosis, the better off you are!
PLEASE, do not play ostrich! The first step is to find out if you're correct...then, take time to hold each other tight, one way or the other....then, move on to enjoying every day together either without the inconvenience of Dr's and treatments, or with those interferences.
Find good Drs, if you have cancer. Preferably a group which will work together in concert on her particular disease. Trust these professionals enough to follow their recommendations to the letter after getting every question answered.
All of the above cannot happen until you get the DX, and, again, the sooner, the better.
Meanwhile, remember, each day, with a cancer dx or not, is a gift.
Now, please, grab her hand, and the two of you, go together and fight this with all the strength you have.

Please keep us posted...and, pm me if you'd like to speak to a survivor.
Huge hugs and love to you both, along with fervent prayers "you" are benign.

Cathi

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Linda_Howell

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #6 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 6:44pm

Bob...please listen to Cathi. She has not only supported me with Family Services, with MY CH she has been a rock in her own treatment of Cancer.

Just like this site right here is a blessing to all newcomers who don't know what to do about the pain of CH...Cathi can help you with the other pain because she's going through it right now. PM her. Talk to her on the phone or in an e-mail. This lady is one of the best. You don't know me but I am asking you to trust me on this one. O.K.?

Linda

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Barry_T_Coles

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #7 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 7:26pm

Hi Bob

What Cathi says is right; I have been supporting my wife with breast cancer now for just over a year with the future looking bright, like Cathi, Nina is a survivor.

If you want a supporters point of view or just a talk by PM or Email please feel free.

I’m not a praying man but my heart goes with you, you will win.

Kindest
Barry

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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #8 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 8:08pm

Linda, thank you for the soo kind words- they touch me. I will try never to let you down, girl!

Barry, first, I am sorry you and Nina must fight this too...my husband, Gil has been my biggest source of strength as well as tenderness through this. I'm glad it looks like you have the same relationship with your wife!

Tom, we are all here to help where we can- PLEASE let us!

My love to both of you.........HUSBANDS ROCK!

Ca Wink

thi

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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chbob04 CH.com Junior Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 37	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #9 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 8:20pm Thank you everybody. We have a meeting Friday morning with a team of doctors at the hospital. I will keep you posted. Bob
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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #10 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 8:25pm

I will be awaiting the results with all my fingers and toes crossed, a lucky rabbit's foot in my hand, and fervent prayers for good results, Bob!
Now, till Fri, remember to inhale and exhale, repeating as necessary-and it might help if you two go out for a bit of an escape-sometimes the fear can become palpable, but, today, there is NOTHING to fear!
Keep us posted!(and pm one of us, or ask for a phone number-or send yours in a pm, if you wish to talk!)
Cathi
Cathi

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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chbob04 CH.com Junior Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 37	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #11 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 9:19pm It just goes to show how sensitive folks here are. After re-reading my initial post, I thought that folks would wonder what the heck I was talking about. I did not realize I omitted the word Cancer from the post altogether. You all are spot on. Thanks again. Edit: I see the title now. My mind is gone
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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #12 - Oct 20^th, 2010 at 10:50pm

Bob,
there's one thing I meant to mention. There are a TON of cancer support groups out there- all you have to do is google, but, after about 2 days, I found my fears growing, my attitude fading and I told my husband I wasn't sure I wanted to do anything, and I regretted ever mentioning my fears to my Dr........

Sometimes, those sites can be scary-furthermore, cancer, much like CH, is unique to each person, site, involvement, genetics-soo many variables! Please be careful about digging into these sites, there are many people who will share the worst-case scenarios without even knowing what YOU are dealing with.

That said, I do hope you will post soon to let us know what is happening-and I promise to think good thoughts for you while we wait!
NOW, I'm done!
Cathi Wink

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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chbob04

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #13 - Oct 24^th, 2010 at 8:07pm

This is Marian, Bob's wife.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. It has really helped me and Bob.

My doctor was worst than useless and I did not find out my diagnosis until 5 days after my second mammogram. He left a voice mail and told me to call his office and schedule a meeting with a surgeon. I won't waste your time on all of the excuses that were offered about the his lack of professionalism and/or sensitivity. He will be gotten rid of in due time.

A wonderful doctor at the hospital put me in touch with their Breast cancer clinic and I had my first meeting with my team (medical oncologist, radiation oncologist and surgeon) last friday. I also had my MRI and I am waiting for the results.

Your voices were with me and helped us to stay strong and focused. It has been very uplifting to know that there are so many good kind people in the world and we are not alone.

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wimsey1

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #14 - Oct 25^th, 2010 at 8:10am

chbob04 wrote on Oct 24^th, 2010 at 8:07pm:

This is Marian, Bob's wife.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. It has really helped me and Bob.

Your voices were with me and helped us to stay strong and focused. It has been very uplifting to know that there are so many good kind people in the world and we are not alone.

No one is ever alone unless the want to be. Kinda restores your faith in the human race, huh? You are in my prayers now and always, as are all who suffer in this life. Keep us informed, and God bless! lance

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Guiseppi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline San Diego to Florida 05-16-2011 Posts: 12063 SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA USA Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #15 - Oct 25^th, 2010 at 9:56am Expecting to read your success story soon on this board! Joe
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Cathi_Pierce

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #16 - Oct 25^th, 2010 at 11:26am

Dear Marian & Bob,
In the world of cancer, that is good news! Surgery, radiation and the next generation of hormone therapy(at least this was MY experience).and I am almost done with my radiation.
Huge props to you for early detection!
If you are wondering about what is involved with the treatment, while it is fresh in my mind, I'd gladly tell you- none of it is unsurmountable.....and, by spring, it'll just be a memory.
Please call on me anytime you need support-especially if I don't see a post.
Be strong, be healthy and be happy- your story is nowhere near the end!
Best,
Cathi Kiss

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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chbob04 CH.com Junior Offline I Love CH.com! Posts: 37	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #17 - Oct 25^th, 2010 at 10:47pm Marc wrote on Oct 25^th, 2010 at 8:04pm: There you go again, offering support and inspiration while in the midst of your own battle......... That says a lot about what kind of person you are. (aside from just being really wise ) We second (and third) this motion. Cathi, you are indeed an inspiration. Thanks. Bob
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Cathi_Pierce CH.com Alumnus Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 1191 x0\|Oregon City\|USA\|\|0\|0\|OR,Oregon Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #18 - Oct 26^th, 2010 at 7:01pm I learned well from a certain Clusterhead..........he's quite wise, too......
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chbob04

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #19 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 5:46pm

Well folks, sorry to take so long to post an update.

The MRI last week showed that there were no other cancers, and the one instance was only 9 mm, not the 12 mm they originally thought.

Today was the surgery. No indication was found that there was any spread to any lymph nodes, and the Surgeon said "the margin looks good". There will be tests on what was removed, and we should know more in a week or two.

I was sort of in shock when I first came here to start this thread, but the CH support I have experienced made me feel comfortable in doing so. I was not disappointed.

Many thanks to all of you, and especially Cathi.

I will keep you posted.

Bob

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Agostino Leyre CH.com Sponsor Offline "Hit like a phillips head into my brain." Posts: 3803 Madison WI USA Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #20 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 6:00pm I'm really happy that the outlook is on the bright side.
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Jimi CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus Offline Don't feed the moderators Posts: 4925 Madisonville, KY Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #21 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 6:16pm Me too. Thanks for the update.
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Linda_Howell

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Re: My wife may have cancer
Reply #22 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 6:25pm

Bob, that news is wonderful & I am so glad you are keeping us updated. Please don't stop now.

Besides Cathi, there are others right here on this board who are Cancer survivors as well. All of them were scared as hell at the beginning, but dealt with the fear and are now living more productive lives than ever before.

I agree with Cathi about being careful with support groups you may look into and for the reasons she mentioned. This site here, for CH is, in my opinion unique and very special. With other groups, that isn't always the case.

Big hugs to Marian and to you. Smiley

Hurt people.....hurt people. Think about it.

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JustNotRight CH.com Sponsor Offline CH version 15.0.8 member since 2005 aka GingerS224 Posts: 1300 Wilkes-Barre, Pa (USA) Gender:	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #23 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 6:44pm Terrific News!!! Time to Celebrate !!
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his wife CH.com Old Timer Offline The sweetest sound is my children's laughter Posts: 271	Re: My wife may have cancer Reply #24 - Nov 4^th, 2010 at 7:59pm Great news, I'm happy for you both. The waiting is unbearable but worth it, wouldn't you say? My thoughts and prayers go out to Cathi, Nina and anyone else on the site in their battle as well. May Cathi's positive attitude be an inspiration to us all.
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