We all know the link between stress and CHs (and other bad things) but we may not think about stress in all the ways we could.  In his seminal work on Family Systems Theory, Murray Bowen put forth a few ideas that might be useful to us.

First, he demonstrated in practice that stress comes not just from bad things happening, but good things as well. Stress is any change in the homeostasis (steady state) of our psychophsical self. So a birthday coming, welcomed or not, or any holiday, welcomed or not, brings added stress because it is a change in our routine. Such change adds stress to our system.

Second, he proposed stress is cumulative. It builds up over time, until it explodes onto the scene with some kind of payoff-a headache, an embolism, an infarction, a temper tantrum, something.

Third, he believed in something that hasn't yet been accepted completely by the medical community, but I think it is real: free floating anxiety. His idea was that the cumulative stress of a group (like in a traffic jam or the mall) has a direct and additive effect on our bodies and minds. He talked about a brown haze (like smog) that blankets and envelops us when we go out into the world.

Put these three together and you have one heck of a stressful day, even if you do not have anything directly negative comin' atcha.

Solution? For your sake and for others, be as stress neutral, or an anxiety free agent, as much as possible. In other words, it begins with self and situational awareness. The more you can identify anxiety (stress) in all its forms, the more you can be on guard. The less anxious you strive to become, through any number of ways we have all talked about on this site, the less you add to your stress and the stress of others.

How? Through genuinely intimate, although not overly restrictive, relationships. In other words, have a strong but not cloying support network of family and friends. Obviously we all know this to be helpful and true. But...according to Bowen, true intimacy doesn't seek to fix or change the other. It seeks to support and encourage, while at the same time, helping to provide a new state of balance. So, as things get worse for us...like during a bad cycle...we need the closer support of a few to help us keep other anxieties in balance. As we progress toward pf times...we need less, but not the removal of, support. And we can improve our stress levels by supporting others. Like contributing to this site.

Holidays are coming, and we all know it's stressful. Whether we welcome them or not. I encourage anyone who feels the added stress of the days to share with close supporters. And if you can avoid stress inducing situations, and places, even better.

Blessings! lance

That is one of the true values of this forum if one will take advantage of it.  Sharing the good things that are happening as well as the bad helps to keep the place (and those in it) in balance.

Jerry