Here we go, sorry but nobody else gets it, so I'm going to indulge myself in a little rant....
I feel like shit!! It's like this cycle is never friggin ending... just when I think it's finished it's back within weeks with a vengence and this time it has changed.
I've been a night hitter for the past probably 10yrs with the occassional early morning wam... and now I'm getting hit in the morning (take son to school time) and again around 3.30pm (pick son up from school time). It is soooo frustrating. (No night time hits for a while?)
This is going to sound ridiculous but when given the opportunity I get on this board and post to the newbies to try melatonin and the energy drinks etc etc etc and I don't use them myself!! Because my cycles have been changing so much (I've stopped using verap for this reason) I've not wanted to use anything that might change them again - especially not melatonin because I thought it might eliminate my night hits and bring on day time ones. Well here I am.
And I kinda thought the night ones weren't so bad

because my son didn't have to deal with it, and I could handle the after effects and all (shadowing the next day). But this day time shit is just relentless. The knowing that it's going to happen at a certain time and the slow build up shadows - that more often than not turn into a full blown hit are just awful - think I'd rather wake in the night and jump on the 02. Now its like I don't know whether to get on the 02 or wait (its kind of expensive for me so don't want to run out too quick - getting another bottle filled tomorrow).
Mmmmm.... sorry but it does feel better to go blah

I wish this cycle would f#ck off. It feels like it's been going on all year!
And finally, didums on me. I had a really special thing on last week (the philosophy symposium at uni) and so organised for my partner to pick my son up from school. (this has never happened before!) I was so excited, I very rarely get out and do my own thing.... sat through 9 of the lectures (clutching my head) and then had to give in and drag myself home and get on the 02

I was so pissed! I missed it last year because I couldn't afford to go, this year I was all hyped up for it and missed half the day/night because of my head.
Oh well, it could be worse. It's just starting to get me down a bit. That said, it is so good to have a place to come and vent

I will survive, this cycle will end (eventually) and life goes on....
Thanks for reading,
Kate
P.S. sorry to anyone who is easily offended - I did a couple of swears