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  Yes, but with a sword in hand. Don't forget Malchus. You can look it up.

To be honest Josh, I'm not sure what to make of your post. I think I'm glad for you because I think you're glad for you, too. Something is working. And while we're down on using narcotics as a regular method of treatment, many of us, myself included, have used them just as you describe. And you know your triggers best. If alcohol won't kick you back into cycle, good for you. It's almost always a mistake for me. I do pray your cycle is over and you remain pf forever. And despite your rabbi's sermon, I'll bet you he was suggesting the change be permanent. And despite your humble protest, you have changed, Josh. Extreme suffering (your department apparently) has a way with us that we don't forget. God bless, and stay well! lance