Tegan
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Posts: 3
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Hi, I'm Tegan. Until about thirty minutes ago, I'd never even heard of cluster headaches, but I'm fairly certain I'm a sufferer.
I'm 24 (I live in Dallas, TX), and I've suffered from what I thought were migraines since I was two, which was absolutely terrifying for my parents. They took me in for CATscans, all sorts of medical tests, blood work, allergen tests, you name it, they subjected me to it.
When no tumors or allergens turned up, they tested me for food triggers, which again turned up nothing, and eventually sent me to a counselor who was supposed to help me manage my stress level to reduce the frequency of migraines (in vain), and a new-age healer who was supposed to teach me to control my blood flow and balance my chi to "take control of my own body". All of this was before I even turned ten.
When nothing worked (except some pain medication designed to literally knock me out until an episode passed), I pretty much just resigned myself to live with them.
It actually wasn't until earlier this evening (I was in the downswing of an episode) that I googled migraines, and clicked a link to cluster headaches...and I saw this picture of a man with a tiny demon on his head, stabbing the man's eye. And my immediate thought was, "oh my god, that is EXACTLY what my migraines feel like!"
Mine probably aren't as debilitating as some; the intensity is severe, but my parents' sympathy for my suffering waned considerably as I got older, so I learned to suffer through them, since if I didn't, I generally got accused of exaggerating to get attention.
I get nauseated on occasion, when the pain is too intense, and I generally need to lie down in a dark, cool, quiet place, and press my fist against my eye socket. I keep a bottle of benadryl and excedrin by my bed so that I can medicate and knock myself out if I need to.
I'm hesitant to make firm plans with anyone, because I never know when I'm going to wake up with a migraine. And the only cure for them is to knock myself out for a few hours.
Luckily, my boss is really understanding - she suffers from migraines herself, and completely understands if I have to call in sick because of one.
I can't stand to have people around me when I'm suffering one - even my boyfriend is pretty much banished, because I feel so awful and helpless. All I can do is curl into the fetal position and cry and rock back and forth until I finally fall asleep.
And I absolutely hate it when people who suffer occasional headaches claim to know what it feels like, because I've had major surgeries that didn't hurt as much, and when I'm suffering one, I feel like I would give ANYTHING just to make it go away.
I'm just really, really glad to finally know what they are.
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