BryanG
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Posts: 7
Land O Lakes FL (near Tampa)
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We went to the Neuro the other day, total disaster.
He started off asking about the headaches, she game him the mile high version. He asked a couple follow ups, but they did not get into the details of the "bad" ones, only that they are behind the left eye, happen regularly, for a couple days, around the time before her period, and they wake he up from a dead sleep and can last for days and only an injection from ER can stop them, and that does not always work.
Then he started asking questions about her ... how do you sleep...Not well, the baby wakes us up a lot (almost 2years old). he says, lock the door. We can't do that, the baby is in our room, then put her in her room, she has a room, right. She sleeps in our bed... "Oh you are one of those. Would you consider yourself normal or not?" WHAT? "Well family bed type people generally fall into 2 groups, normal people and not so normal people, most are the latter, are you normal"
At this point I am starting to be not so happy...Sure, it would be nice if she slept in her bed, but hey, don't judge us.
Then he goes on, "Do you work?" Nope. "where do you leave the baby during the day?" Excuse me? "Do you put her in day care, do you have her in preschool, what do you do with her?" Umm, my wife is home with the baby, her job is to raise our family, not drop our kids off at day care so others can raise our kids and just leave us with dinner, story, bath and ed time.
"well you need to have 3 hours a day to your self, you need to leave your baby somewhere else, do you watch or read Glen Beck?" NO! WHY? "well he says in his book (states book name) that at 2 years old all parents are doing is suicide watch, and are preventing kids from killing themselves" He chuckles, quite proud of the joke, and proceeds to go on...He wants to give my wife samples of 1/2 a dozen prescriptions and starts to explain them to us... I ask if she can take these while breast feeding. He takes the drugs back and says "oh, you are really one of those. You know breast feeding is good and there is a spectrum of how mothers breast feed. There are great benefits with antibodies and such, but the vast majority stop before 6 months old." Now my wife it totally on the defensive, pissed off and it is apparent on her face by that look of horror and shock and just utter unbelieving look that she is hearing the bull shit. (sorry) He ranted on for a minute or two and then said, "when you want to get better and stop breast feeding, and you will, because there are no 18year old girls still breast feeding anywhere, you can come back and see me." He then looks at me and says "your wife is doing a wonderful job, and is going to raise some very loving and affectionate children." Was that trying to defuse the BS he has been spewing, or is that filled with sarcasm and he is again letting us know he has passed judgement upon us because he is not liking the choices we make as parents? He even went on to ask what her plans were after the baby goes to school. She said, well if I can, I will stay home, be involved in school, and take care of the home. "No going back to work?" Not if we can avoid it, no.
He wrote us up an order for an MRI because the headaches wake her up at night. I said wait, what is wrong here, what kind of headache is she having, it is a combination what? He mentions ocular. I asked specifically about Cluster, saying, what she described to you is lacking in detail compared to what she describes to me. the "Bad" ones come at night strong, no meds do anything, usually, then they go down, but not away, she gets back to sleep. She will go through this wave cycle for days, she can function, then she is in bed, she can sleep, she is awake searching for anything to make it go away ... DAYS.
He said "nope not Clusters. She is a woman, very rare, and if they were clusters they would last weeks, then be gone months and then return. she does not fit the pattern, go get the MRI, see the acupuncture doc, and come back when you are done breast feeding."
And that my friends is why my wife has given up on doctors. He has basically determined that the headaches are from disturbed sleep and lack of self relaxation time. He totally discounted that she has had migraines since age 6 and these clusters since before we had kids, but sure made us feel like all our choices in life have created this situation. A big ol F-U doctor closed minded and everyone needs to be like me.
*sigh* Back to the drawing board, now with even less momentum from my loving and hurting wife.
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