Hey, thank God you're hear. I have so much to say but have been freaking out and I'll try to make this concise . I guess I started getting CH's about 10 years ago, my GP called a neuro and they handled it, said I was clasic. Have been to neuro's twice, but both times were during remission, they confirmed CH and treatment. Was getting them about every 2 years, came out of nowhere, big pain, lasted about 2 months and disappeared. This time it's different. These started April 7th, out of  nowhere, I started on verapamil right away, than about 4 days latter, another attack, than 3 days later a few times, than daliy. Only good thing I was able to build up verapamil without steriod taper. They have gone over 6 or 7 on pain only a few times. Now it's been a little over 3 months, went 5 days, thought I was done and got hit again, than 3 days and hit again. Seems just the way I started. I've never had them this long, usually 2 months.
  This has me desperate, especially the afternoon ones that come out of nowhere, my grandson's birthday, trip to see my son, on and on. For the first time I don't want to live anymore, feel hopeless, confussed, afraid to leave the house,which makes me depressed. I'm so upset at the way I'm handling this.
  I'll stop here, I just turned 60, the pain has been between 4-6, sometimes it's gone before I get to kitchen. I am only taking verapamil, 440 mgs a day, this is the most I ever took but seems to be manageing the pain. Have imitrex, but it scares me and haven't neded it.

  Thanks,, I just had to let someone who knows what's going on with me. Why is this one so differeny?

You are expressing fear of Imitrex and inconsistency in using any med in a pattern which is likely to give good, enduring relief.

I'd suggest working with a headache specialist who can work out a treatment plan which would deal with these issues.

Starting and stopping your meds is, with Cluster, not the approach which is, for the long term, useful. The preventive med, especially, will be help you when you work up to an effective dose (and that may take dosage adjustments and months of trial to determine) and then stay there for a good run. Your body then has a chance to stabalize so that you and the doc can see what is really the best package for you.

Re. Imitrex: unless you have a heart condition, the safety record is good. If you want to discuss options with your doc, print out the file in PDF, below, and use it as a tool to review your choices.
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LOCATING HEADACHE SPECIALIST

1. Search the OUCH site (button on left) for a list of recommended M.D.s.

2. Yellow Pages phone book: look for "Headache Clinics" in the M.D. section and look under "neurologist" where some docs will list speciality areas of practice.

3.  Call your hospital/medical center. They often have an office to assist in finding a physician. You may have to ask for the social worker/patient advocate.

4. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or ; On-line screen to find a physician.

5. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or Look for "Physician Finder" search box. They will send a list of M.D.s for your state.I suggest using this source for several reasons: first, we have read several messages from people who, even seeing neurologists, are unhappy with the quality of care and ATTITUDES they have encountered; second, the clinical director of the Jefferson (Philadelphia) Headache Clinic said, in late 1999, that upwards of 40%+ of U.S. doctors have poor training in treating headache and/or hold attitudes about headache ("hysterical female disorder") which block them from sympathetic and effective work with the patient; third, it's necessary to find a doctor who has experience, skill, and a set of attitudes which give hope of success. This is the best method I know of to find such a physician.

6. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or NEW certification program for "Headache Medicine" by the United Council for Neurologic Subspecialties, an independent, non-profit, professional medical organization.
        Since this is a new program, the initial listing is limited and so it should be checked each time you have an interest in locating a headache doctor.

In your last message you wrote: "scared; anxiety is kill me; I hate."

Please look at these expressions in light of what you read here:

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to or

Thanks Bob and Lance for your replies. It took me a while to read and understand the link you put, Bob. But after reading it several times I can agree with, "WE CAN SUFFER EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT IN PAIN.  Without being too long-winded, it has been a difficult year, just when I felt I was coming out of whatever funk I was in, I began another episode. I was confused and scared at 1st because this time was so different, I was having a great busy month finally, and after a few weeks accepted the CH, took grandson to baseball games with cooler of red bull and imitrex, anyway, 2 different afternoon attacks just led to me giving up,grandson's birthday party, and other grandson's game. They are 6 & 8. I began getting down on myself, waking up thinking "what If"which lead to panic attacks and depression. I felt like I tried and couldn't keep it up. I know many here live with this and for the last 9 years I have made it through because of all of you, but this time I was ready to throw in the towel.
  I hope I'm done with this episode, went 2 weeks without a ch, had a wisdom tooth pulled, which really sucked, made it through my son's wedding last week and got 1 slight hit 2 days after wedding. Keep thinking I should have done better, emotionally, but I didn't.