A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be the Man of Your House".  Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.'  You will prepare me gourmet meals, you will clear the dishes and serve me scrumptious desserts. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and care for me all through the night, then draw me a bath so I can relax.  You will put on soothing music, wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands.  Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" 

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your ass cremated."

A woman in Iowa read a book on Feminism and marched into the living room and told her farmer husband that she had her rights, that she did not have to cook his dinner.  He said, "I can live with that" and got up, went in the kitchen and cooked his dinner.  When he finished eating she said, "I have my rights, and I don't have to clean up behind you."  He said, "I can live with that" and washed the dishes.  He then walked back to the living room and sat down to watch Monday Night Football.  His wife said, "I have my rights.  I don't have to watch Football."  He said, "How would you like to not see me for a week:"  She said, "I can live with that."  On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday she did not see him.  On Monday she could barely see him out of her left eye. 

Sometimes the shoe pinches, no matter whose foot it is on!   

Jerry