I can honestly say no, nothing that crazy.  The worst that ever happened was I over baked cookies so they burnt.  No fire, no huge mess, just burnt cookies.

One fine summer day I was cooking supper on the stove, and happened to see a spider running across the floor.  I screamed, which caught my daughters attention very quickly.  She saw the spider, and she screamed (and I do mean screamed).  We both ran out of the house with supper still on the flame.  I knocked on several neighbors doors before finally finding some kid finally answered a door.  When I asked if he would come kill the spider, he looked totally shocked and said "How big IS it?"  He came, he killed, supper was ruined - the neighbors think I'm crazy (and just maybe I am).

Now....imagine my stories involving a dead bird being consumed by my dog, and me versus mole.  If something strange is going on, I bet the neighbors know it is me.

My mom used to cook with a pressure cooker.  Those things were deadly,  and spewed food on the ceiling were normal in our house.

I personally have only burnt a few things on the stove when not paying attention to the timer.

Linda, you just brought back some memories with that "pressure cooker".. gosh I remember the "blow offs".. To this day, I'm still "terrified" of those things..

And yep, the turkey has to thaw.. You don't forget that but ONCE.. 

One year I had the turkey out "thawing" and came home and the turkey was GONE.. Looked all over the house and it weren't nowhere to be found. Finally Idiot Son came home and I asked him if he'd seen the turkey.. "Oh yeah, I took it over to the new neighbor's... didn't know if they'd have one and thought it would be nice.. they've got four kids..." The ham wasn't bad...

There is nothing in this world as horrible as homemade scorched ice cream. Except maybe serving said ice cream to a house full of guests on New Years Eve, and having people run over each other to get to the bathroom.
Did I mention that I have come close to burning water. Culinary skills are not my strong point. 

Once whilst in the middle of a dinner for some family I popped into the kitchen to get something only to notice that there was smoke all around the ceiling, extending down for a foot or so. Clearly there was something on fire, however I couldn't spot anything burning. But as I'm very much the kitchen helper, I summoned the expert, my supporter to investigate (she is a gourmet cook).

We couldn't find any food burning, so we started looking for a fire. Soon all the guests were joining us hunting a fire, one even climbing into a roof space. After a few minutes with more smoke and no luck in finding the fire we called the fire brigade who arrived in a few minutes (along with a few neighbours wondering what we were up to). They too couldn't spot anything, although they did rescue the guest who got stuck in the roof space.

Then one fireman had the idea of taking the oven out, which located the fire in the wooden shelf under the oven. It was soon put out with a jug of water.

Luckily desert had finished cooking by then, so we were able to finish dinner, although the firemen declined the offer of joining us for it and some beers / wine.

So whilst it wasn't a disaster, it could have been.

How do you know it's only ONCE, Babs? 

C'mon, we want details!