Can you remember when you thought a normal headache hurt? (Before you got clusters) I remember when I first got CH's. I was in Culinary School in 97'. I partied a lot so I just figured I was just hungover. (Was in a shadow) Then.....WHAM! It was unlike anything I had ever have heppen to me before. I was rolling on my apartment's livingroom floor in agony. My roommate thought I was joking until he saw the tears. He called the paramedics. The ambulance arrived and it took everything for them to load me up. By the time we finally reach the ER, I was on the recovery side of my CH. They did the basics there: vital signs, blood work, family history, the usual. They said I had a migraine (which I accepted) and gave me a referral along with some T3's. Went and saw the neuro 3 days later (hadn't had an attack since the ER visit), and since I really couldn't describe the headache because I'd never felt pain like that, he gave me whatever the popular Migraine meds were at the time....I think Amidrine. About 2 nights go by and BOOM I'm hit again (already taking the meds as the neuro prescribed), this time it brought back up. I ate 4 BC Powders in an hour, nothing helped. Finally, it just went away. I had headaches like these off and on for 2 years while I was in school. Would got to the neuro and he'd only up my dose. Shortly after school I went into a 3 year remission. So I forgot all about them. I started getting them again, only one at a time with remissions lasting months inbetween, so I didn't think about them too much. A few more years went by and this started my real cycles. I'd get "minor" ones (at the time was the worst headache I had ever had) and had shorter cycles....about 4-5 weeks. A year and then sometimes 2 year cycles began to become regular, but now my cycles were getting longer. It wasn't until about 2 cycles ago did I learn about how bad the beast can really be. I only thought I had a headache before. Now, I was really scared of them......I was plagued with "the fear". This current cycle has really been the most painful. My CH's last longer now and some have intensity that I can't describe correctly. This last cycle made me desperately search for answers. This is when I found ClusterHeadaches.com. Thank GOD! I hadn't pursued neuro's after my college days because I had been to the ER several times and had seen numerous doctors......all of which seemed to not believe me. It seemed like they thought I was just a junkie looking for a fix. It wasn't until I came here recently and heard other peoples stories about how nobody seems to believe us, did I decide to look into HA centers. Now, I am planning to find a HC Center after the holidays. Man, for so long I thought I was the only one living like this. I thought I had a tumor or something even worse. It was such a relief to find a community of people who suffer JUST LIKE I DO. Don't get me wrong, I wish you all lifetime remissions, it was just nice to be able to cry to someone else. About a week before finding this site, I discovered that my boss also suffered from CH's as well. He was actually the first person I had EVER met with them. It was great to share stories, things we do to find relief, and talk about how CH's have effected our lives. I just remember how bad I thought these were when I got my first CH, and then when I got my first "Monster". What scares me now is wondering "damn....how much worse can they get?". I try my best to stay positive, but I feel like I'm only lying to myself. Perhaps now, with a good support community, I can actually be positive not just try acting positive. Thank you guys and gals, you have helped me so much with your stories and advice. I am making bonds with some of you that are stronger than those of some of my life long friends. I truly love you guys!

3,000 days+or- pain free. 

              Potter