Bob Johnson wrote on Jan 10th, 2013 at 8:19pm:I hope that in some earlier message I encouraged you to contact your excellent support group for some guidance in finding good quality treatment. Outfit worth you attention:
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But, to your message: betrayal by our family is surely one of the great hurts we can experience. The problem is that, holding onto our claim for their love/caring/attention sustains our pain.
For me, I don't believe we have a moral obligation to sustain such relationships even if they are our kin. Holding on only sustains our pain, and they have already displayed their inability to understand and respond to you.
Even if your death changed them, you would not benefit. But you have the alterntive of walking away, as painful as that may be, and creating a new life.
I had enough of your experiences to appreciate where you are but, somehow, enough caring and support came into my life over the years to be redemptive, healing, sustaining. But we can't come to the surface by holding onto the anchor.
The human experience is full of pioneers who have abandoned their "old world" and, finding a hand to hold, have created a new life. Would love to see you join us.
My clusters just recently started (November), and I am not one to just take off and "recreate" myself just yet, this is wonderful advice. I am currently searching for a job, but those close to me keep asking the question, "Could you actually do the work and hold a job in the condition your in?" It is as if they are trying to discourage me from living a normal life. However, they mean well.
I need to feel that I am in control of my life, and not that the clusters are controlling it. While we all need the support and understanding of others, we can't rely solely on that so-called "anchor." Unless they have experienced the pain and fear we go through, they will never fully understand - and ending your life, as said above, will not benefit your at all. And if your family acts that way towards you, don't bother with them.
It sounds like you are thinking of ending your life simply as a way to send a message to your family, not because you are in chronic pain. If they aren't supportive at all and think you're being a "drama queen," I guarantee that message won't be received. Just separate yourself from them. It won't be easy, but it will be better for you in the end.