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Wife of a CH'er! (Read 1192 times)
Chrisandsimone
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Wife of a CH'er!
Jul 24th, 2013 at 10:25pm
 
Hi!  I am the wife of a CH sufferer and am so glad to have found this site!

My 35 year old husband of 10 years has been suffering for most of our marriage!  As most of you know its really hard to be the support person of a suffer purely because I dont know how to help except to keep out of his way!  We are researching all the time for new or different preventatives or relief meds.  This site so far has been amazing for advice and just reading other peoples personal experiences and coping mechanisms is fantastic help!

He normally starts to get CH's in the summer time but this year he skipped summer and is now about 6 weeks into a cycle. 

He's pretty good at managing his pain and knows what to avoid but alcohol is the hardest.  Not that he is a big drinker by any stretch but we have quite a few birthday parties coming up and even one beer sends him over the edge.  Thats pretty hard for me as well because I feel guilty if I have a drink and then I spend the whole night worrying if he's ok.  This is where I dont know if it more supportive to avoid all social outings that may include a drink or if we should go and try and make the most of a crap situation?  He says we should go and he'll be fine but I think he is just trying to make me feel better.  At the end of the day I want what is best for him.  Any advice is welcomed.   Smiley

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Guiseppi
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #1 - Jul 24th, 2013 at 10:38pm
 
First and MOST IMPORTANTLY

Follow this link to the medications section of this board and read the post 

Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register

It’s a vitamin/mineral/fish oil supplement, all over the counter stuff. It’s up to an 81% success rate of those who try it and respond to the survey so you’re just shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t give it a shot. I’m 3 years pain free on it after a 35 plus year track record with episodic CH. Best of all, it’s healthy for you even without CH!

As of January 20, 2013, the compiled raw data indicates an efficacy of 80%. 240 out of the 300 CH'ers who have started this regimen and stayed on it for a month or more have experienced a significant reduction in the frequency and severity of their CH... 78% of the 300 CH'ers experienced a pain free response and 60% of the 300 have remained essentially pain free. Episodic and chronic CH'ers respond to this regimen at roughly the same rate.

Preliminary survey results indicate most of these CH'ers were pain free before the end of the third week with some responding in a little as 12 to 24 hours. The average time to respond is five days


Bless your heart for being a supporter, my wife found the original streaming CH site and saved my sanity! Wink

Joe
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"Somebody had to say it" is usually a piss poor excuse to be mean.
 
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LasVegas
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #2 - Jul 24th, 2013 at 10:44pm
 
Good of you to join the site and introduce yourself.  Read as much as you can so you can be a knowledgeable supporter. 

You can do plenty for your husband while he is in cycle beginning with understanding the drinking concern at birthday parties is the least of your guys worries. 

You can be a loving and supportive wife to him and choose to moderately drink and enjoy life without any guilt, etc regardless of his condition, but he would be a glutton for punishment if he made that horrible mistake.

Please make sure to get your husband on here so he can vent to others who truly understand what he is traumatized with and of course to gain further education about his disease to help him cope.

Understandably this has got to be very tough on you and supporters around our world are very welcomed.  Hang in there, we are here for YOU also!  Welcome to Clusterville Wink

-Gregg in Las Vegas
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Wishing everybody at CH.com less pain w/ more productivity in their lives in 2019
 
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Chrisandsimone
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #3 - Jul 24th, 2013 at 11:36pm
 
Thanks Joe and Greg.  I didnt mean to sound that drinking was my priority and I was actually worried it would come across like that!  Just trying to get tips on how to manage a normal life whilst living with CH. Embarrassed  We are really active, social people and for 3 months of the year it becomes near on impossible to be normal as you will all know.  I cant speak for Chris but for me, I swing between being overly supportive and doing everything in my power to help, to sometimes even resentful and frustrated.  Then I feel guilty and selfish etc etc.

The only thing Chris hasnt tried is the oxygen mainly because we dont really know how to get started with it.  Our doctor hasnt suggested it, just lots of drugs that dont work.  Perhaps time for a new doctor?? We have most of the things on the list from Joe's link so I will go to the chemist today and get the missing things.

Thanks for your support Smiley
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AussieBrian
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #4 - Jul 24th, 2013 at 11:39pm
 
Sounds like hubby rules his CH, not the othe way round, and that's as it should be.

A hearty welcome to you both.
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My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com
 
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Bob Johnson
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #5 - Jul 25th, 2013 at 7:49am
 
" I cant speak for Chris but for me, I swing between being overly supportive and doing everything in my power to help, to sometimes even resentful and frustrated.  Then I feel guilty and selfish etc etc."

Sadly, this is the consequence of trying to accept his responsibility. Love and concern does not give you control: only he can decide to drink or not, to seek medical care, or not, and so on.

It appears that the best move you both could make is to find a good headache specialist to work out an effective treatment plan--which your husband will have make work.
==
LOCATING HEADACHE SPECIALIST

1. Yellow Pages phone book: look for "Headache Clinics" in the M.D. section and look under "neurologist" where some docs will list speciality areas of practice.

2.  Call your hospital/medical center. They often have an office to assist in finding a physician. You may have to ask for the social worker/patient advocate.

3. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register; On-line screen to find a physician.

4. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register Look for "Physician Finder" search box. They will send a list of M.D.s for your state.I suggest using this source for several reasons: first, we have read several messages from people who, even seeing neurologists, are unhappy with the quality of care and ATTITUDES they have encountered; second, the clinical director of the Jefferson (Philadelphia) Headache Clinic said, in late 1999, that upwards of 40%+ of U.S. doctors have poor training in treating headache and/or hold attitudes about headache ("hysterical female disorder") which block them from sympathetic and effective work with the patient; third, it's necessary to find a doctor who has experience, skill, and a set of attitudes which give hope of success. This is the best method I know of to find such a physician.

5. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register NEW certification program for "Headache Medicine" by the United Council for Neurologic Subspecialties, an independent, non-profit, professional medical organization.
        Since this is a new program, the initial listing is limited and so it should be checked each time you have an interest in locating a headache doctor.







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Bob Johnson
 
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wimsey1
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #6 - Jul 25th, 2013 at 8:52am
 
Quote:
Just trying to get tips on how to manage a normal life whilst living with CH.


If you mean by that what I think you mean, then it isn't going to happen. "Normal" probably means life before or without CHs. We call that living in between the hits, or cycles. CHs are the norm at this point. When in cycle, you have one kind of lifestyle. When not in cycle, you can enjoy a different and more liberal lifestyle. This is an affliction that occupies our time and energy while it is present. And while we will have clusters for a very long time in our life, they are not 24/7. This is good news! The bad news is it hurts so damn much when they get active. That, too, can be managed. So...accept the reality in front of you. Make adjustments, and learn a new normal. May sound harsh but it is the truth. God bless. lance
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Chrisandsimone
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #7 - Jul 29th, 2013 at 9:06pm
 
Hi everyone - I just wanted to let you all know that Chris has been almost p/f since I found this site! Thanks to your advice he has started the D3 regime and drinking red bulls the second his shadows start and aside from a couple of few minute long headaches and shadows - nothing! Surprised it is starting to work so quickly - so thanks so much! So far so good! Don't worry - we know the next one is around the corner Sad
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LasVegas
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Re: Wife of a CH'er!
Reply #8 - Jul 29th, 2013 at 9:09pm
 
Chrisandsimone wrote on Jul 29th, 2013 at 9:06pm:
Hi everyone - I just wanted to let you all know that Chris has been almost p/f since I found this site! Thanks to your advice he has started the D3 regime and drinking red bulls the second his shadows start and aside from a couple of few minute long headaches and shadows - nothing! Surprised it is starting to work so quickly - so thanks so much! So far so good! Don't worry - we know the next one is around the corner Sad



That is so awesome to read!

Enjoy life together "between the hits" and make the most of every minute! Wink

-Gregg in Las Vegas
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Wishing everybody at CH.com less pain w/ more productivity in their lives in 2019
 
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