TRAVELLER IN THE FAR EAST TRIES ORDERING BREAKFAST

Note: this story is about how two people using the English language build up
a fine example of miscommunication. Read it aloud to yourself, pronounce it
just the way this text is written.

Room Service: "Morny, ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room service."
RS: "Rye..ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: "Uh..yes, i'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den"
G: "What?"
RS: "Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please"
RS: "Ow July dee baychem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July san tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes?"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'
means"
RS: "Toes! Toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we
bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine, yes, an
English muffin will be fine"
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side"
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes, coffee please, and thats's all."
RS: "One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache,
    crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh,
    and copy...rye?"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome."

It reminds me when my better half was travelling in Switzerland and had a similar issue. The hotel staff claimed to not understand English, so she called me and got me to ring the hotel to complain in German which they could understand. However where they got confused was that they asked where I was as they hadn't seen me in the room and I said I was in a different country. For some strange reason they then started speaking perfect English.