Loxygen
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I Love CH.com!
Posts: 9
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A big Thank You to everyone who posts on this board. I am a 43 year old, 25 year veteran of episodic CH’r. And I have learned much more from this board than I have from any Doctor, any book, or any other website. Thank you, all of you.
There are so many great thoughts on here, its hard to have an original one. The search tool helps me answer almost every question I have ever had. Reading everyone’s messages is not only informative, it is so therapeutic. I am coming off a 4 year period of remission (hollah). Out of the blue, on an freaking airplane (headed out on a biz trip), completely unarmed, I got speared with a 70 minute kip 8. The only thing worse than having a CH is being trapped, out in the open, in public. Once I got off the plane, regained my sanity, I did 2 things. Emailed my pcp a request for Imitrex Shots (love that he will actually email), and hopped on this website and typed in “latest treatments” (hello Redbull, hello D3). My doc, who is new and never talked to me about my CH history, put the prescription in immediately. I ended up needing those shots to survive the remainder of that trip. He also re-arranged his schedule so I could see him the day I returned from my trip. Gave me the O2 (why did I ever send that back anyway!), Verapamil, and a steroid Taper (actually my first time doing this, but I have a lot more travel planned, and can’t afford to battle – its working). No questions asked. It blows me away to hear that people have trouble getting O2 prescriptions in this day and age.
Now, I am relatively lucky, as for the most part, all the traditional methods of aborting / preventing work for me. At relatively modest doses. But I certainly have my breakthroughs. And for those, I am an exerciser if nothing else is available. It can be very difficult (see airplane), particularly if its 6 times in a night, but I can usually abort them by intense sets of squats, sprints, jumping jacks, or jumping rope. If I start early, and if I haven’t been drinking, and if its not mid cycle. But I got pretty good at this, because for the first 15 years or so, it was the only technique I had (other than chewing aspirin). By the way, can I go back and sue those doctors I saw in the early years? I think they owe me for some serious pain and suffering! While I am at it, can I sue myself for the same? Even after I found my way to the right people, and read the right things, I was way too hesitant to add Imitrex and O2 into my defensive options. But hey you just haven’t lived if you haven’t snuck into a bathroom, before an important meeting, and snapped off 500 - 1000 jumping jacks, praying to work yourself into a breathing frenzy so that you can continue on with your day!
For me, this disease is about hope and fear. Hope that: • This CH will be the last of the cycle • This CH will end in the next 10 min, or maybe the 10 after that • I will go in remission for a long time • Tonight I can have a drink, and it will be one of those nights it doesn’t cause a nightmare • This remedy will work, if not, one of the others will
And Fear: • That I will turn chronic • That these past methods that worked will fail • That person in the parking lot will see me sucking on an oxygen mask while rocking back and forth in the front seat of my car • That I will be caught in the open without any meds • That I will get a CH in situation where I am trapped, and I have to make a decision that might involve additional drama or chaos that I cannot manager
Trapped is the worst. If I think about my own “Hall of Fame” CH attacks, most involved being trapped.
- There was the time I was at the dentist, getting a procedure done where I had to keep still with goop in my mouth for 30 minutes. Wouldn’t you know, a 6-7 came on. I barely got thru that.
- Another time I was driving my boss. One came on and I felt like being stubborn, and not going thru the drama of explaining it. Luckily, I was wearing sunglasses, so he never knew that my right eye was pouring, and that I was in a battle for my life and sanity as we drove down the highway. That was probably only a 45 minute 7.
- There was Spanish class in College. I was trapped, but walked out about 75% of the time. 11 AM was my torture hour back in those days. The teacher thought I was a slacker. I didn't bother explaining.
But the one I will remember forever was the Monster I ran into the night of my rehearsal dinner. After drinks, of course. A 3-4 hour level 9+ that lasted until 4 in the morning (no 02 or Imitrex). The day after, my wedding day, I felt battered and bruised the entire day. That sucked. But I drank on my wedding night anyway, because usually, the beast didn't penalize me for alcohol 2 nights in a row. In college, Fridays often sucked, but that cleared the way for pf Saturdays.
I guess it's the public / social aspect that can really put these nightmares over the edge. Its also the surreal factor. I mean, the pain is war zone dramatic. Yet often, 1 hour later, some of us are back at work, back to normal, albeit a bit tired, sweaty, flushed, or jittery. We don’t bother sharing with others what we went thru. They ask “how are you?” You can’t reply “hey, I am great, and right before this meeting I went thru a 60 minute open-brain surgery without anesthesia. It was my second time today!” You can tell others about a cold, or a car accident, or trouble sleeping. But not about what you really went thru, because they wouldn’t understand. Surreal. It's a wonder that we all don’t have Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.
One last thought: I am not sure how I feel about the name the “Beast”. I think it's a bit awkward to call it that outside this room, but at the same time, it fits. I picture it as some sort of satanic bull with horns. Sticking his barbed horns into my nerve center, and twisting. Or squeezing. The beast gets sleepy when I gas him with Oxygen. He gets annoyed by verapamil, and usually avoids me. He gets drunk on 2 drinks, and he is a mean, abusive monster on alcohol. And the Imitrex shot, that's a tranquilizer dart for him. Look out when he wakes up. So the Beast is a good name, even if its childish to reference our disease in this manner. But he’s there, and that's how I picture him, and you know what? He looks a little bit like the Red Bull logo. Wait……
Again, thank you to everyone on this board. I appreciate you all, my supportive wife, my fast and flexible doctor, and my current pain free moment, very much.
I do have one question I would like to ask, of anyone. What are some of the CH's that are in your "Hall of Fame"??
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