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coping with more than pain (Read 3182 times)
Don B
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coping with more than pain
Oct 19th, 2014 at 7:08am
 
because of the pain and overall debilitating nature I do not like who I have become. I have no patience and feel I will lose my mind. I lash out without notice and have difficulty supressing my anger. the pain is something that brings me to tears just thinking of it, but my temperment has begun to feel nearly as debilitating. anyone familiar ? does this make sense ? I want to be "normal" again
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AussieBrian
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Cairns, Qld, Australia
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #1 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 7:18am
 
Makes perfect sense to me, Don, and we know exactly how you feel.

We're ClusterHeads just like you, mate. We understand.

Welcome.
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My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com
 
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Don B
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #2 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 7:54am
 
thanks Brian (mate). I have had these about 4 times in the past 20 years. this time they are hanging on longer, what makes these chronic (period of time) I am hoping they are still episodic. can one still be in a "cycle" without the EXTREME pain ? looking back between "cycles" I feel as though I have dealt with headaches manageable but never really free from a cycle.
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AussieBrian
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #3 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 8:17am
 
All headaches are horrible. The important thing is finding out exactly what sort of headache you're dealing with. There's hundreds to choose from and our Cluster Quiz will give you a good start. See the button top-left of your screen.

Getting a fair dinkum diagnosis is really important so you can rule out certain nasties and get started on a management regime that will allow you reclaim your life.

Outside of this madness we know as pure pain there is a lovely world.

Let's go find it again.
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My name is Brian. I'm a ClusterHead and I'm here to help. Email me anytime at briandinkum@yahoo.com
 
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Bob Johnson
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #4 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 2:03pm
 
It will help us to direct you to good sources of assistance if you will tell us where you live (city & state, if U.S. or country). At the Home page: Help button-->Edit & Profile --> Location. (This will add your location, just below your name, every time you post a message.
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It would be helpful if you would outline how you are being treated now. Perhaps, we might have some suggetions for effective treatment.
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Bit long but it works to control anxiety; but requires some patience and patience.

PAIN VS. SUFFERING

Please, reader, do not approach this little essay as an alternative treatment or cure for CH! Nothing outlined here is a substitute for good, sound medical care and treatment.

AT THE HEART OF THESE PARAGRAPHS is the recognition that pain and suffering are rather different experiences which can and must be changed by rather different responses. The pain of our CH is the subject of many of the messages we exchange, the topic fills the medical literature we read, and is the primary purpose for the multiple visits to doctors.

Suffering is quite a different animal. It is an emotional/psychological condition which is often experienced even when there is no pain; it is commonly experienced as fear, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, dread, and fearful anticipation.

Suffering is a normal, even automatic, response to pain, loss (as in death, divorce, or other major losses), and a host of other difficult experiences. However, suffering can be intensified, sustained, and even created quite independently of any of these experiences. In the case of our CH, suffering is too often experienced when we are not having attacks.

The hard paradox is: WE CAN SUFFER EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT IN PAIN!  This is the paradox which we need to resolve if CH is not to be the controlling experience in life.

As you read our messages about CH they fall into two broad categories: causes, prevention, and treatment; and, the subjective experience or emotional side of CH. 

A sample of the "experience" messages which we see are along the lines such as:

"Ch is horrible; it never stops!" (Or it will never end; or they will go on all my life, etc.)
"I can't bear the pain!"

" Nothing makes me feel better!" (Or no medication works; all have failed and so on.)

"It's not FAIR!" (Or variations along the lines of, "why is God doing this?", "am I being punished?")

"I feel so GUILTY!" --because of how I burden my family or can't work, etc.

"The WORST thing in my life!" (Or some variation on how CH is a catastrophe that I can't handle.)

(Before moving on, you may recognize this concept as the core of cognitive therapy or Rational Emotive Therapy. These therapies are rooted in the basic idea that how we think about an experience creates corresponding emotional reactions--for good or bad. The research on the effectiveness of this approach is very good; outcome research shows that it is an effective form of therapy for depression, anxiety, and addictions of various types.)

Cognitive therapies teach people to recognize:

A. These thoughts may be spontaneous and automatic but,
B. They are not rational thoughts, and so, in their very lack of reason they,
C. Stimulate emotions which are disruptive, distorting, and which intensify the difficult experience of CH and,
D. This style of non-rational thinking and the associated emotions tend to spill out (generalize) into our larger lives affecting relationships, our beliefs in how effective we are, how well we are able to run our own lives, and so on.

IF (and this is often difficult to both see and to accept!) we can begin to see HOW our thinking may not be fully rational and HOW these ways of thinking feed our SUFFERING--then it may be possible to change our thinking habits.

The next step--past a willingness to consider that we may be thinking  this way--is to learn how to dispute with ourselves, that is, how to argue that our own thinking is not reasonable, that it is self-harming. Then we learn how to change these thinking habits (with the goal in mind that by changing how I think about my experience will change how I feel, how my emotions affect me.)

(Understand that this is an outline of a fairly involved process. I'm just trying to quickly summarize how this method of self-help works. Sources of material are at then end.) So, let's go back to the sampling of expressions which we see in our messages about CH and see how cognitive psychology would deal with them.

1. "CH is horrible; it never stops!" First, recognize the despair and hopelessness which arises from this statement: where will this line of thinking take me? So, we learn to respond more rationally, i.e., "Yes, it's hard pain--but it has always stopped even when I don't treat it. I can survive this attack as I have every other one. I need to do what I know helps."  The long term effective of this change in thinking is to increase self-confidence and a sense capacity to benefit ourselves.

2. "I can't bear the pain!" Response: "I always have. I know pretty much what to expect; I've got some medication which helps. I can bear the pain because I always have!"  Notice, this is not a denial of the pain; it's not a "let's pretend". The goal is to deal with the reality of temporary pain; pain which, as bad as it is, has always stopped with our return to reasonable well being. It is the denial of this, our personal experience, which arouses suffering and despair.

3. "It's not FAIR!", or thoughts of GUILT, or that I'm being PUNISHED. Response:  "This is my body not working right; it has nothing to do with morality or sin or fairness. My job is to care for ME, NOW, not fret about fairness." (The consequence of  an appeal to "fairness" is that we become victims. The problem with "guilt" is that we have to find a "sin" which justifies having CH or we must convince ourselves that we have chosen CH to avoid something or to hurt someone, hence, our sin. In the end, this line of thinking is not reasonable or rational and serves to create more suffering.)

4. "CH is the WORST thing in my life!" I often see folks express in their messages a sense of anticipation, of feared expectation about the next attack of cycle. There are few responses which lend themselves to the development of suffering better than this one: waiting for pain; looking for the next sign; assuming that it will come. Reflect a moment on what the impact is on our emotional well being and you may begin to appreciate why changing thinking habits is of value.  How to respond?  "It is the worst experience--when it's occurring--then it's over and I return to my full life. My whole experience says that I'll come through the next  one--when and if it comes. I don't have to wait and look for it; there is living to be done, now."

If you are interested in exploring this way of altering your thinking habits there are three readily available sources of information:

1. Go to Amazon.Com and put "rational emotive therapy" in the book search box.

2. Go to Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register and get the catalog. (This is the homebase for Dr. Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.)

3. Look for a paperback, FEELING GOOD: THE NEW MOOD THERAPY, David Burns, M.D. While this title is written around the issue of depression, the general framework can be applied to coping with cluster headache.
  This is true for many of the titles you will find at #2; REBT and  Dr. Burns' cognitive restructuring approaches have been used for a wide variety of problems--the general framework is fairly universal, in this sense.
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« Last Edit: Oct 19th, 2014 at 2:04pm by Bob Johnson »  

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Don B
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #5 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 2:28pm
 
thank you for the time; it is clear that you understand, that alone brings at least a sigh of relief. as I recall this is the 4th time dealing with this in the last 20 years. It is also the first time I have been treated by a neurologist. I was fortunate to have a primary diagnose early on. the treatment in the past OXYGEN. Now it is oxygen and varapimil.  your response affirms that I am not crazy (while at times my behavior can be) recognition of this may provide a better chance to cope with I I am affected and how OUR condition affects others. Thank you for taking the time and providing assurances and direction. I hope not to need support to that extent but as all know who suffer from CH there is NOTHING we won't do to feel better, be it physically or emotionally. I have never been one to surf the web especially to reach out for help. this site alone has helped tremendously. Yes WE can handle this. all the best !!
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Mark Olson
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #6 - Oct 19th, 2014 at 8:23pm
 
I find I do dwell on my CH, even in between cycles.  The evidence is that I lurk here on ch.com every day.

I try not to let it get me down.  If it does, the beast wins, and I hate to lose.
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Don B
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #7 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 7:41am
 
thanks Mark.  good to know I an on a winning TEAM. I have to admit I am fearful that they will not go into remission this time, but all things do pass .........
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BarbaraD
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #8 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 7:59am
 
Don, check out the Vit D3 regimen. It's worked for so many of us. I was chronic from July of 97 till last Oct when I began it. Haven't been hit since Oct 21st of last year (tomorrow is my 1st anniversary).

And yes, we do tend to dwell on our heads, but learn to live with CH. And we all get cranky when we hurt. If anyone "touched" me when I was getting hit -- well they were taking their lives in their hands..

Read the archives on this board and you'll see that you're not alone in your feelings. We've all been where you are.

But we're here to help.. and you are NOT alone. Keep us informed. We do care.  Kiss
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stronger!
 
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Don B
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #9 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 8:25am
 
Happy anniversary Barbara. that's great ! thanks for the words of comfort and advice. Batch has been in touch, my wife is a huge supporter who is going through this at every step. this site has been helpful (she found this for me too) I expect to follow the regimen and will share how it is going. It will be another success story others can use as inspiration.
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Bob Johnson
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #10 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 9:23am
 
Again, my 1st post: where do you live.

Oxygen as the only abortive is not the best first choice unless your lifestyle is such that it's alays with you as you move about. It's effective but with relatively active life.

There are other abortives with have a longer effective life so they can match with the usual duration of your attacks.

Does your neuro have training and good experience with comples headache disorders. Most, in the U.S., have quite limted education/experience. Ask him directly and if he can give you infor abou both his training (IN headache) and good bit of experience, we would suggest you find, if at all possible, a headache specialist.
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LOCATING HEADACHE SPECIALIST

1. Yellow Pages phone book: look for "Headache Clinics" in the M.D. section and look under "neurologist" where some docs will list speciality areas of practice.

2.  Call your hospital/medical center. They often have an office to assist in finding a physician. You may have to ask for the social worker/patient advocate.

3. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register; On-line screen to find a physician.

4. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register Look for "Physician Finder" search box. They will send a list of M.D.s for your state.I suggest using this source for several reasons: first, we have read several messages from people who, even seeing neurologists, are unhappy with the quality of care and ATTITUDES they have encountered; second, the clinical director of the Jefferson (Philadelphia) Headache Clinic said, in late 1999, that upwards of 40%+ of U.S. doctors have poor training in treating headache and/or hold attitudes about headache ("hysterical female disorder") which block them from sympathetic and effective work with the patient; third, it's necessary to find a doctor who has experience, skill, and a set of attitudes which give hope of success. This is the best method I know of to find such a physician.

5. Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register NEW certification program for "Headache Medicine" by the United Council for Neurologic Subspecialties, an independent, non-profit, professional medical organization.
        Since this is a new program, the initial listing is limited and so it should be checked each time you have an interest in locating a headache doctor.
=====================================================================
WHY A HEADACHE SPECIALIST IS RECOMMENDED


Headache. 2012 Jan;52(1):99-113.
Cluster headache in the United States of America: demographics, clinical characteristics, triggers, suicidality, and personal burden.
Rozen TD, Fishman RS.

THERE REMAINS A SIGNIFICANT DIAGNOSTIC DELAY FOR CLUSTER HEADACHE PATIENTS ON AVERAGE 5+ YEARS WITH ONLY 21% RECEIVING A CORRECT DIAGNOSIS AT TIME OF INITIAL PRESENTATION.


Dose of Verap is critical (PDF file).
See the PDF file, below, for a wider range of options.
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Multimedia File Viewing and Clickable Links are available for Registered Members only!!  You need to Login or Register (96 KB | 16 )

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Don B
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #11 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 9:47am
 
Good morning Bob. I live in Meriden, Ct. I submitted my info. on this site, not sure why it isn't uploaded. to be frank, I am not completely certain of my neurologists qualifications. I will find out more as I go forward. Simply going to see one was a step in the right direction. Admittedly, we have to be our own advocates to some degree. I will be questioning him more. I only had one visit. first steroids were prescribed and pretty effective. As the precrip. began to wind down the pain increased. I reached out to him again and was prescribed verapamil. 240 mg. I have only been taking it a few days and the episodes have decreased in frequency and volitility. I will begin the vitamin regimen recomended by "Batch". I appreciate you following up with me and I will stay in touch
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Bob Johnson
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Re: coping with more than pain
Reply #12 - Oct 20th, 2014 at 12:25pm
 
From your last post about the meds the neuro has Rx--I hear as he not experienced with Cluster.

1. The steroid kills attacks rapidly but the norm is to taper off from a high startin dose (don't want to stay on fo long periods).

2. AT THE SAME TIME you should have started the Ver (takes several days for it to become effective, hence the rapid acting steriod.) BUT Verap. is common worked up to an end point dose ranging from 400 to 900mg.

3. And also giving you a quick acting abortive med in case an attack slips by the Verap. 

This 3-step package is standard for Cluster. Doesn't sound this is the combo. he is using.

So, urge seeking a headache specialist. But that being said, it would be wise to see a new doc without starting the Vit D program before a good diagnostic work-up from a new doc. (Cluster is far more complex than is appreciated and there are a number of disorders which mimic it, some rather serious, which need to be ruled out before a final Dx of Cluster.)

New doc needs to see you as a "clean slate", not using any treatments which can change the picture before he can come to a judgment. After the diagnostic, you can ask him about any alternative treatment program which interests you but, in any case, he should always be aware of what you are doing. (Amazing how many people hide information from their docs; swap meds with friendds, changing doses,etc.)
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