Newbie to the site. Supporter/caregiver/wife for my husband who has suffered for going on 30yrs. He is chronic year round, and it's killing me! I've watched him suffer for so long, and can't do a damn thing about it.
Please bare with me as I learn the ropes of msg boards.
My name is Billie, I've watched my husband suffer since the age if 17.  NO DR'S WOULD HELP BECAUSE THEY KNEW NOTHING. Everything we've learned has been on our own, and with the awesome guys @Clusterbusters. He is suffering so bad. Waking up every 20mins with a new demon(that's what we call them). It started in January when he had "that look". It has escalated to the point he went thru over 250 imitrex shots in less than 6 months, arguing with his Demon about staying here with his family, not giving in, or giving up, beating his head on/in anything.
This round he can not be left alone.
I've watched this big healthy man turn into a quivering scared shadow of himself for 30yrs, by myself caring for him because no one really believed him, thot he was faking. So I have absolutely no support from family. Hiding so he doesn't see me cry/beg/plead with any diaty that would listen. I have no one to talk to, my husband is shutting down, I'm fed up with no one understanding, and going crazy thinking I'm the cause of all his problems. I've cried so much with him, and am scared I won't be there to talk the Demon out of taking him away. I'm scared for him this time round.